28 never had a girlfriend and hopelessly addicted to PMO

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by superstorm250, Jun 22, 2021.

  1. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Like the title says, I’m 28 and I’ve never had a girlfriend and I’m also pretty severely addicted to PMO. I’ve been addicted to PMO since I was 12 and it’s been practically a daily habit ever since. I’ve only ever been on one date back when I was 21 and I also got my first kiss and lost my virginity on that date. Since then, I’ve hadpretty much nothing in terms of dating or sex, and the fact that I have so little experience at 28 is definitely holding me back because I feel like the majority of girls wouldn’t want to be a 28 year old guy’s first girlfriend and most of them see inexperience as a turn off. I also have no friends ever since my last one moved out of state almost a year ago and I still live at home with my parents too. Because of all 3 of these things combined, I feel like my chances of getting a girl are slim to none and I’m just pretty much undateable. Girls are usually turned off by all 3 of those things individually, but its even worse when you’re facing all 3 of them at the same time.

    I also suffer from PIED, something Irealized when I went on that first date and I know this is due to me being so hardwired to PMO from never having any real life sexual encounters up until that point and only frequent PMO use for the previous 9 years leading up tothat. A lot of times I feel like none ofthis will ever get any better.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2021
  2. They dont have to know that there your first girlfriend or that you live with your parents . Here is a news flash for you all the things you say that U think will turn off women WONT. You seem to have this thing that all women know what they want and have there lives in perfect order but i will tell you ALOT OF THEM DONT. I used to have thoughts like yours but going out there dating meeting people i found that everyone has some kind of issues in there lives and that know one person is perfect most people i meet just want to be excepted as they are.
     
    LyarTheTruth likes this.
  3. D_rax

    D_rax Fapstronaut

    Become the man the woman of your dreams would want to marry.

    Heard that years ago. Hit home too hard.

    You can be free from PMO. And PİED.

    You can heal.

    The process will probably be hell. But there's freedom for you, if you're willing to put in the pain.

    I'm 29, never had an actual girlfriend (a few kinda relationships, but nothing that ever made it to the "girlfriend" stage). I've also never kissed a girl or lossed my virginity. That means, by all measures you've given, you're beating me ;). But I have no doubt I'll be in a long-term relationship in a few years. Maybe by the end of next year, we'll see :emoji_grinning: ... I'm putting in the work to be a man my future wife will love and respect. Learning to cook well. Getting healthy. Getting solid on my work/money situation. Keeping a clean house. Putting in the effort to meet new people, and get to know them... And to ask girls on dates. Not all of that works out... But some of it has. And I'm confident more will develop in the future.

    All that to say, f*** hopelessness.

    You are amazing. You are loved. Your life is worth putting in the effort to make better.

    Stand up, turn off your phone, do a couple pushups, clean your house, go for a walk, and say hi to some people while you're out. Life is beautiful. You're worth putting in the effort for. So put in the effort, so your future wife can also see what we see in you.

    Educate yourself on how you can get off porn. İt's hell, but it's doable. And you'll find life much more livable and lovable when you're out on the other side.

    You're not a lost cause.
     
    looking and becomingreat like this.
  4. Fly310562

    Fly310562 Fapstronaut

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    Very similar story to mine. I’m also 28 and never had a gf. Only had sex with one girl twice and that was last year. Couldn’t get a full erection with her just like I’m not able to with porn (didnt cum either time we had sex). Been a loner pretty much my whole life due to my social anxiety.

    I realized PMO isn’t just our addiction but also our drug. I used it as a release whenever I felt alone/upset. We can’t expect our lives to get better if were dependent on the DRUG of PMO. Once I started seeing it as a drug it really helped change my mind. Drugs fuck with our mind/thoughts, feelings and body.

    I was hopeless too but we’re still so young and it’s not too late to make changes. I’m currently on a 13 week streak. I have more clarity and peace of mind. Im happier with myself and more optimistic than ever before. Confidence has increased slightly.

    I feel like me and you are a lot alike. Fight off the urges and negative thoughts. Your mind is playing tricks on you. But you have that inner voice telling you to not give up and that there is hope. Start listening to that inner voice just like I did. It will strengthen your will and you will start doing things you never thought you could get yourself to do.
     
    Sun_shine and D_rax like this.
  5. Fix yourself first before you even think about getting into a relationship. It's like what Tony Montana says in Scarface "..when you get the power, then you get the woman." You're definitely not a powerful person right now, and I'm not either atm, but self improvement will turn anyone into a powerful person. Women are attracted to power which is why they like money, height, status, muscles, big dicks, masculine facial features, etc - because they come off as powerful. Obviously, having these traits doesn't automatically make someone powerful, In fact, even weak men can have these characteristics. Real power comes from within - from passion, bravery and confidence. Once you're passionate, brave and confident, women will definitely take interest in you. However, women shouldn't be your motivation to change - you have to do it for yourself.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2021
    ineverquits, LyarTheTruth and D_rax like this.
  6. boichywow

    boichywow Fapstronaut

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    As OG Cowboy states, you cannot expect a girlfriend to cure you.

    God says, "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." Mttw 6.33

    Take this short prayer, and just for a trial, say it daily. You will build confidence and overcome fear. I promise.

    PSALM 27
    The Lord is my light and my salvation;
    whom shall I fear?
    The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
    of whom shall I be afraid?

    When evildoers assail me
    to devour my flesh—
    my adversaries and foes—
    they shall stumble and fall.

    Though an army encamp against me,
    my heart shall not fear;
    though war rise up against me,
    yet I will be confident.
     

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