28 virgin male

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Talalelsayed, Apr 18, 2019.

  1. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    Okay, at the moment I am MO free for seven months on hard mode. It was very difficult as well the cost five to six months. PIED is horrible but I know I will get over it because I am committed and will not let PMO ruin my life either. I have sipped with porn in the last two months looking at it, edging, but did not touch myself. It’s hard though. I am in a couple of recovery groups because of this and has helped me tremendously. You need to focus on yourself and not worry about the woman right now. Depending on how long your addicted and past sexual experience it will not take long. Others with no experience it can take well over a year ..
     
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  2. skull67

    skull67 Fapstronaut

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    you said"others with no experience" what did you mean by that?
     
  3. skull67

    skull67 Fapstronaut

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    thanks man, i have started working on yoga dn meditation and books and on my career right now, but i m more intrigued when you said 27 feels like yesterday, i somehow deeply resonate with this aspect because i remember from the time i stared watching serious porn, almost all those years which is close to 6-7, it just went by and nothing got done, i feel it such a waste of time, now did you say that as a passing comment or do u also ffeel the same?
     
  4. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    Alright, I just relapsed yesterday. No P but M so take my advice with a grain of salt. I mean I have a really good memory. I remember what I was doing when I was 27. I had life changing things that happened where I had to get my shit together. This was before I had a laptop, high speed internet, and stuff. I actually went from drifting to back to school, job, moved up, promotion BUT no girlfriend. A couple and only a couple of hook ups. Then after I got a "lifer" job I got a l just settled in, found HD P and my life went on GroundHog mode. Same day on repeat. Still hang out with friends, go out but back home to P. BUT it would be SO MUCH worse if I didn't have a place of my own, no car, no money, no job because at 45 what would be my excuse? Even at 27 you should start feeling the pinch in a good way. Be someone you want/think a girl would want. I without bragging on myself, am not a ugly guy. I could have settled a few times with some women but I actually am glad I had a hot P girl to go to instead. Why complicate my life? Now after 20 years I realize it's no way to live. Holed up with P. I went 60 plus days saw drastic improvement in my mood, actually lost some fat, skin got better, you see things clearer. Now I know it's a lifestyle choice. I would sometimes fap 3 times a day if not more. Yes I relapsed (my second/third time?) but don't feel too guilty as I tried to go out for a walk in Town but people are so rude nowadays I went home frustrated and ruined a 5 day streak. I think it's better than edging with P for sure, just go back to what I used to do before internet when the pressure is too much. Over and done, no spending hours searching for the right P. I hope that clears it up a little.
     
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  5. Get back quickly on nofap man! This thing fuck pretty much my 20's.
     
  6. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    I have been the same way and finally getting my shit together. I worked on the road for a bit but then settled back at home at 34 and PMO for the next six thinking why complicate things with dating. I’ll just wait for the right one. I’m not sure how long you are rebooting for but I am seven months and know I will need at least a year ... Hope you keep pushing and get further every year ...
     
  7. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I'm back, no binge or anything. Just had it for the week and gave in. Thanks man. Will do.
     
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  8. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    Man 7 months is sick. I made it 80 days with a little peaking but then gave in after having a really bad day. No excuse. I've reset but I know that the benefits are real and that giving in to temptation after a couple of weeks is just reasoning with myself. Thanks for the pick me up. You too....
     
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  9. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    It’s was tough and I know I am not out of the woods yet. Just keep pushing yourself every day bro! You need any tips or motivation on stuff let me go. I did hard mode which definitely helped me out a lot. It’s hard for most people to do it but always try to push yourself. There have been some porn slip ups but no MO..
     
  10. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    Keeping it real...yeah porn slip ups are the killer. I got cocky and said eh just a peek. Then said what the hell. Then when you feel that remorse you're like blew it... Hard mode is the way to go and not just days, months. I really was at a point when I said I don't need it but what the hell turns into why did I just do that?
     
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  11. thanbaisunwin

    thanbaisunwin New Fapstronaut

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    no it's not normal, even asking it in this forum and being not sure if it's normal is not normal. idk what your situation is but it sounds like there needs to be done a lot of work on urself. all the best.
     
  12. rt01386

    rt01386 Fapstronaut

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    Sure it sounds normal! Even more importantly it sounds HONEST. PMO is an epidemic, there are so many more people in your shoes who aren't on this forum. You're doing fine and the position you've found yourself in is as normal as anyone else's. PMO is toxically addictive so congrats on getting out! Many won't. It's not your fault you abused PMO, our vrains didn't know how to handle it w

    Sex is kind of like PMO honestly. As soon as you get into it, you just want more and you think about it all the time. You will have sex eventually so long as you can take control of your life first. Don't get down on yourself bc it hasn't happened for you yet. Sex just opens up new problems, it doesn't solve any. You and your recovery should be number 1 right now. Take it from someone who has had plenty of sex and been addicted to PMO the last nine years. I'm not saying that I would want to go back to being a virgin, but I wish I could've learned these lessons sooner. I'm here on nofap just like you bc even with my sexual experiences, recovery rose to the top of my priority list.
     
  13. A leaf

    A leaf Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,

    Do you believe that at times being alone can be blessing rather than a curse

    Most people don't have the luxury of being alone, as they drowned in work around people they cannot stand :mad::confused::oops:

    Some people cannot even stand their own company, and thus REALLY hate being alone.

    A few people cannot love others because they haven't learned to love themselves.

    You see I learned that this huge world feeds us a lot of information that distracts us from the most important thing we really seek, what with the iphones, playstations, Xbox, netflix, free porn... Its all digital overload

    Whats this one important thing we really seek you might ask...

    Simple...

    It is, what is our Purpose?
    What is the original reason we were placed on this earth.

    Think about it, everything has a purpose. Take a motorbike for instance, you look at it a KNOW immediately what its purpose is. Matter of fact, you cant call a motorbike a shoe... simply because you cant wear it. In other words, you sit on it and ride, because that is what its built for. Even if you call a motorbike a shoe, it doesn't change what it actually is :emoji_motorcycle:

    The same thing for us MEN. Yes we are males, and the truth is any male can ejaculate, even a gorilla or a dog... But what makes us men is our PURPOSE. What we have set our hearts, hands and minds to accomplish because we were built for it. :emoji_lifter::emoji_golfer::emoji_school_satchel:

    You see even if you call a man a sissy. He is still a man, because you cannot change his purpose. He comes equipped with the body and functions, same as the motorbike. So when a man arrives on the scene, he is what he is, and nothing anyone says can change that for him... :emoji_muscle:

    They say time is money, and in fact, TIME is probably the most important commodity on this earth being that once its over, it is OVER

    So make sure you spend TIME with yourself, UNDERSTANDING and STUDYING yourself, and ask yourself, what is MY PURPOSE? :emoji_raised_hands:

    You see the richest place on this earth is not the banks, or the museums or necker island, where sir Richard Branson lives... It is actually the graveyard... where a whole lot of dreams and ideas never materialized because people never studied their own potential. They left the work for others to carry out. or decided to work for others how had a purpose.

    So ask yourself, out of the 500,000,000,000 sperms I personally beat to get into this world when my daddy laid with my mommy, what did i come here to do. Or was I born a mistake. :emoji_kissing_closed_eyes:

    The moment is NOW to choose forever.

    You see just like you, last year, I felt like a loser (let's be honest). I felt my addiction to porn would control me for the rest of my life. LIES :emoji_muscle:

    Now Im a leader and I speak to people often to break the pattern of thought they are in when self defeated, and i can do this because I discovered my PURPOSE

    So if you want me to help you discover your purpose...
    Send me a DM right now... we do not have time to waste.

    Remember, time and change are the only constant thing in life.
    But also remember, everything living and breathing has a purpose, including you. Starting right now :emoji_raised_hands::emoji_raised_hands::emoji_raised_hands:
     
  14. Orpheus12

    Orpheus12 Fapstronaut

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    25 same situation here. I am scared to death even if I did get into a relationship, I wouldn’t be able to perform in bed. The fear kills me.
     
  15. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    The people who will ultimately face great success in the future are those who are comfortable with their loneliness, know who they are, what their purpose is and know where they are going. Combine that with good social and listening skills and there are no limits where your success will end.
    I know for sure that my purpose is to coach and give men who are struggling in life (regardless of age) the essential tools needed for shrugging of their past and any social conditioning they might have (which is very anti-male and ridiculing manliness and fatherhood) and gaining back self-control, drive, motivation and purpose into their lives which is eventually going to make them thrive.
    There are very few tools out there (at least in the West) for the advancement and well-being of males and the few that exist are mostly very politically correct and anti-traditional.
     
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  16. Same here; 28, virgin, never had a relationship, a little afraid of what will happen when I do...

    The road to sex/relationship seems to be very straight forward and simple. But while it is simple, it is not as easy as one might imagine, because there are some mental blockades of fear and anxiety I need to get through first.
     
    BigOne79 likes this.
  17. iwillbestrong123

    iwillbestrong123 Fapstronaut

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    it seems like a big thing losing your virginity but honestly it's blown way out of proportion... just because you haven't lost it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your or you should be hard on yourself to lose it.
    when the time comes you will lose it, relax and work on yourself and improve and honestly it will be Okay don't feel like you need to lose it or there's a certain age by which you have to lose it because theirs no rules for when to lose your virginity dude.
     
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  18. Dr.Radiologist

    Dr.Radiologist Fapstronaut

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    Well, I think it's normal.
    at least you don't have bad relationships or experiences ..
    You can think of marriage to solve the issues
     
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  19. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    So what is some good advice you can give about people like us that have to be alone now for awhile until we get these issues straightened out. Sometimes I feel disappointed about being alone but then I remember the freedom I have to help others and do what I want to do. I think a relationship will form in time but getting myself better is the first step. Thinking you can do this in a year is not realistic..
     
  20. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    My advice is to focus on improving yourself and your life first and foremost. Having a woman in your life should not be the cake itself but rather the frosting on the cake. In other words, you shouldn't need a woman to complete or fulfill you but rather you should be able to do it while single and feeling content about life itself. Then, get some interest hobbies (unless you don't already have some) where you can get in touch with people is a good way to start. Also, by doing some volunteer work, you will get plenty of fulfilment as you do things for others and not yourself.
    You should also not stress about a certain time frame finding a woman and get laid. The more you stress it, the more desperate, needy and worse you will feel about yourself and the longer you will be blocking these events from unfolding naturally which should be the more fulfilling path. Finding a good path and purpose in life should be your foremost priority for a successful and prosperous life. Getting laid should not be one of those top priorities.
     
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