SanityOverVanity
Fapstronaut
I'm over 6.5 months PMO free as of today. Most of what I'm about to say isn't new but I do believe individual experiences can be great motivators in pushing us to achieving our goals.
I was in flatline for the first 34 days. Straight up emptiness, zero motivation or energy to do anything. I stayed indoors for pretty much the first month and a half apart from driving lessons. Flatline was a blessing in disguise because I had no urges whatsoever. I should also mention that I had quit my job a couple of months before this reboot so I had a lot of time on my hands. Over time I started to regain sensation over both mind and body. Apologies, this will be a fairly wordy!
I should add that despite the above, most of this perspective is how I feel as of today and not how I felt 2 or 3 months in or whatever. Simply because I honestly don't remember, I didn't document everything in great detail (apart from a journal I abandoned after 2 months or so) and I just feel like a completely new person is wearing my skin. It's bizarre. Most people who've gone a considerable distance in the journey tend to say this but it is genuinely difficult for me to imagine or even remember what I was like as a person before this started. I remember specific feelings and emotions (regret, shame and guilt mostly) but in terms of specific thoughts and ideas I used to have it's completely non-existent. It's made me conclude that a large percentage of my very being before reboot was entirely influenced by my addiction. I was an addict, through and through. It controlled every single aspect of me.
Ok, so the benefits and how I achieved them through practicality...
Clarity of Thought - Everyone knows about the 'brain fog'. Even if you've never thought about it you know it's there. I suffered from this a lot in the past. Sometimes just sitting there and randomly wandering off in my own mind. Now? Pretty much gone. Sometimes I'll forget a task I was about to do but after quickly retracing steps it comes back. I meditated for the first 2-4 months. It helped though unfortunately the habit was hard to sustain. Granted it's something I'd like to get back to doing.
Productivity - After about 2-3 months I became a whole lot more physically active. Joining the gym was a huge factor but I attribute the change mainly to the crazy amount of excess energy I found myself having. Some days I'd spend 2-3 hours running around the house doing chores. As mentioned above I learned how to drive within a few weeks of beginning reboot. This also helped a great deal. I've never in my life been an outgoing person but now I can't bear the thought of being indoors too long. It almost makes me uneasy. Like there's something that could be getting done out there. And as mentioned, the gym really became a haven for me. I'm 6ft 2" and weighed 113kg (250lbs) before reboot. Although I've always been athletic I was in probably the worst shape of my life at the start. After joining the gym in early December I'm around 108kg (238lbs) now. No word of a lie I couldn't do 10 push ups at the end of 2017 and yesterday I did 50 in 1 set for the first time. Set myself a goal of 40 pushups (sets of 2) everyday for a month in January, then 60 in February. I ended up doing 60 a day in Jan then 70 a day in Feb. Also made to do lists on most days and moved anything I couldn't do from one to the next.
Harmony (Heart and mind working in unison) - I promise you, this is not some hippy bullshit it's just straight facts. One of the worst things I remember about the addiction was the emotional and mental madness it left me in. I remember most days feeling "at war with myself". There was no synchronisation within me whatsoever. Most PMO addicts will know what it feels like. That internal conflict and monologue the moment just before you relapse again. One part trying to rationalise, the other trying to justify. Thankfully, now they both work together most of the time. I don't feel any self-loathing anymore. I adopted cold showers. It became such a routine that I couldn't go a day without one. I forced my way through the pain. It's incredible how the human body has evolved so much to fear the cold. For me it's one of the few things that will almost instantly make you fearless in the face of adversity. It gave me that belief. The video below explains why in a bit more detail.
Peace of Mind - Harmony is very similar to this but the focus is more on the mental side here. Mental *health*. My mind used to be a minefield. I used to have some horrific thoughts. Some genuinely disturbing, insane things. And that's probably what it was, insanity. Thankfully the details are forgotten but I know I thought these things. How did I overcome it? All of these benefits wouldn't have been achieved without quitting porn but none more so than this. Whatever parts of my brain used to be preoccupied with the next dopamine fix are now dulled. And in turn I believe there's more room now for teaching my brain new habits and ways to be satisfied. I remember being someone who detested reading, mainly due to my poor attention span. Since reboot I've finished over 8 books (4 of which were audiobooks). It's nothing incredible but for someone like me it's miraculous.
PIED Cured - I had it. Had death grip too. Everything was terrible. And realising just how bad it was probably contributed to my flatline in the early days. Thankfully after day 70 I had sex for the first time in a few months and it was perfect. Erection was fierce af and has been since. Death grip is gone too. Felt real sensation again for the first time in a long time. Still having sex fairly regularly and in the interest of being honest the PIED has occurred again on 2 separate occasions since. Both were due to anxiety on my part and I have no fear about it being a long term issue. "Time heals all wounds". Cliched but there's truth here. I left my body to heal and in time it rewarded me.
These are probably a little more introspective than the standard superficial benefits but I'm sharing what I feel is most relevant to me in terms of areas I really struggled with. That said, here are some honourable mentions:
Back Pain - This might seem odd but I'm not sure what else to attribute it to. I've suffered from chronic lower back pain since my middle teens and after starting nofap and learning about kegels it's more or less gone. I couldn't stand up for too long or do excessive physical activities or even chores before. Now I go fairly hard on a stairmaster without any pain.
Confidence - Just straight up simple and plain. Without shame and guilt there's nothing to hold you back. There's almost no situation I can think of being in now that I won't be able to contribute to in some useful manner.
Attraction - It's easy to be a skeptic (I've been there) but honestly it's hard to deny. I notice it most when I'm at the gym. Granted, I'm a large person and a minority but sometimes the stares I get from women, even men, is a reward in itself.
Energy - I touched on it a little above but needs to be said again in some detail. I'm an introvert by default. When most people hear this they immediately assume social awkwardness but that's not what it means. I get most of my energy from spending time alone. While that is still the case I'm way, way more tolerant of being around people now and even more importantly in any setting. I can't think of a single event I've been to since this began that I've regretted going to or that cost me energy.
Better Hygiene - Never an easy one to admit but truth is truth. Being a homebody in my past life I didn't always take care of my hygiene. So far in 2018 I can think of 2 days that I haven't showered. I smell better and feel way more comfortable in my own skin. Some days I'll shower twice depending on what time I go to the gym. Also exfoliating and moisturising (I've always done both anyway). Your skin will reward you if you take care of it. Not sure what the correlation is but my beard is also growing fuller. I've struggled to grow it out for years but maybe the added testosterone via regular exercize and semen retention is contributing.
"The Knowledge" - I don't know what else to call it but this is my name for it. The Knowledge is arguably the greatest benefit of all. From a social point of view at least. For me, it's the thought in your mind when you enter a room and look around wondering "I wonder if anyone here knows about NoFap". It's not just knowing about NoFap though but actually practicing it wholeheartedly. This is not meant to sound pretentious, forgive me if it does. But for me it's knowing that you have the cheat code to life and it's your own little secret. It reinforces confidence, casts aside all doubts and inspires progression within me every time I step outside.
My life was never really that bad, even when I was an addict. It took PMO abstinence to realise that. Since this began I've really opened my eyes and see now just how unbelievably bad some people do have it. For those really struggling for direction, use your guilt and shame to help you. Whenever these emotions are present you'll know there's still work to be done. But the effort is worth it, you will get rewards, you will grow as a person and most importantly you will have achieved something genuinely meaningful.
I'm still learning, still struggling on some days and definitely still fighting but for the most part I'm the best version of me I believe I've ever been. Share your thoughts and feedback, please. If this helps even one person gain some perspective then it's a win.
I was in flatline for the first 34 days. Straight up emptiness, zero motivation or energy to do anything. I stayed indoors for pretty much the first month and a half apart from driving lessons. Flatline was a blessing in disguise because I had no urges whatsoever. I should also mention that I had quit my job a couple of months before this reboot so I had a lot of time on my hands. Over time I started to regain sensation over both mind and body. Apologies, this will be a fairly wordy!
I should add that despite the above, most of this perspective is how I feel as of today and not how I felt 2 or 3 months in or whatever. Simply because I honestly don't remember, I didn't document everything in great detail (apart from a journal I abandoned after 2 months or so) and I just feel like a completely new person is wearing my skin. It's bizarre. Most people who've gone a considerable distance in the journey tend to say this but it is genuinely difficult for me to imagine or even remember what I was like as a person before this started. I remember specific feelings and emotions (regret, shame and guilt mostly) but in terms of specific thoughts and ideas I used to have it's completely non-existent. It's made me conclude that a large percentage of my very being before reboot was entirely influenced by my addiction. I was an addict, through and through. It controlled every single aspect of me.
Ok, so the benefits and how I achieved them through practicality...
Clarity of Thought - Everyone knows about the 'brain fog'. Even if you've never thought about it you know it's there. I suffered from this a lot in the past. Sometimes just sitting there and randomly wandering off in my own mind. Now? Pretty much gone. Sometimes I'll forget a task I was about to do but after quickly retracing steps it comes back. I meditated for the first 2-4 months. It helped though unfortunately the habit was hard to sustain. Granted it's something I'd like to get back to doing.
Productivity - After about 2-3 months I became a whole lot more physically active. Joining the gym was a huge factor but I attribute the change mainly to the crazy amount of excess energy I found myself having. Some days I'd spend 2-3 hours running around the house doing chores. As mentioned above I learned how to drive within a few weeks of beginning reboot. This also helped a great deal. I've never in my life been an outgoing person but now I can't bear the thought of being indoors too long. It almost makes me uneasy. Like there's something that could be getting done out there. And as mentioned, the gym really became a haven for me. I'm 6ft 2" and weighed 113kg (250lbs) before reboot. Although I've always been athletic I was in probably the worst shape of my life at the start. After joining the gym in early December I'm around 108kg (238lbs) now. No word of a lie I couldn't do 10 push ups at the end of 2017 and yesterday I did 50 in 1 set for the first time. Set myself a goal of 40 pushups (sets of 2) everyday for a month in January, then 60 in February. I ended up doing 60 a day in Jan then 70 a day in Feb. Also made to do lists on most days and moved anything I couldn't do from one to the next.
Harmony (Heart and mind working in unison) - I promise you, this is not some hippy bullshit it's just straight facts. One of the worst things I remember about the addiction was the emotional and mental madness it left me in. I remember most days feeling "at war with myself". There was no synchronisation within me whatsoever. Most PMO addicts will know what it feels like. That internal conflict and monologue the moment just before you relapse again. One part trying to rationalise, the other trying to justify. Thankfully, now they both work together most of the time. I don't feel any self-loathing anymore. I adopted cold showers. It became such a routine that I couldn't go a day without one. I forced my way through the pain. It's incredible how the human body has evolved so much to fear the cold. For me it's one of the few things that will almost instantly make you fearless in the face of adversity. It gave me that belief. The video below explains why in a bit more detail.
Peace of Mind - Harmony is very similar to this but the focus is more on the mental side here. Mental *health*. My mind used to be a minefield. I used to have some horrific thoughts. Some genuinely disturbing, insane things. And that's probably what it was, insanity. Thankfully the details are forgotten but I know I thought these things. How did I overcome it? All of these benefits wouldn't have been achieved without quitting porn but none more so than this. Whatever parts of my brain used to be preoccupied with the next dopamine fix are now dulled. And in turn I believe there's more room now for teaching my brain new habits and ways to be satisfied. I remember being someone who detested reading, mainly due to my poor attention span. Since reboot I've finished over 8 books (4 of which were audiobooks). It's nothing incredible but for someone like me it's miraculous.
PIED Cured - I had it. Had death grip too. Everything was terrible. And realising just how bad it was probably contributed to my flatline in the early days. Thankfully after day 70 I had sex for the first time in a few months and it was perfect. Erection was fierce af and has been since. Death grip is gone too. Felt real sensation again for the first time in a long time. Still having sex fairly regularly and in the interest of being honest the PIED has occurred again on 2 separate occasions since. Both were due to anxiety on my part and I have no fear about it being a long term issue. "Time heals all wounds". Cliched but there's truth here. I left my body to heal and in time it rewarded me.
These are probably a little more introspective than the standard superficial benefits but I'm sharing what I feel is most relevant to me in terms of areas I really struggled with. That said, here are some honourable mentions:
Back Pain - This might seem odd but I'm not sure what else to attribute it to. I've suffered from chronic lower back pain since my middle teens and after starting nofap and learning about kegels it's more or less gone. I couldn't stand up for too long or do excessive physical activities or even chores before. Now I go fairly hard on a stairmaster without any pain.
Confidence - Just straight up simple and plain. Without shame and guilt there's nothing to hold you back. There's almost no situation I can think of being in now that I won't be able to contribute to in some useful manner.
Attraction - It's easy to be a skeptic (I've been there) but honestly it's hard to deny. I notice it most when I'm at the gym. Granted, I'm a large person and a minority but sometimes the stares I get from women, even men, is a reward in itself.
Energy - I touched on it a little above but needs to be said again in some detail. I'm an introvert by default. When most people hear this they immediately assume social awkwardness but that's not what it means. I get most of my energy from spending time alone. While that is still the case I'm way, way more tolerant of being around people now and even more importantly in any setting. I can't think of a single event I've been to since this began that I've regretted going to or that cost me energy.
Better Hygiene - Never an easy one to admit but truth is truth. Being a homebody in my past life I didn't always take care of my hygiene. So far in 2018 I can think of 2 days that I haven't showered. I smell better and feel way more comfortable in my own skin. Some days I'll shower twice depending on what time I go to the gym. Also exfoliating and moisturising (I've always done both anyway). Your skin will reward you if you take care of it. Not sure what the correlation is but my beard is also growing fuller. I've struggled to grow it out for years but maybe the added testosterone via regular exercize and semen retention is contributing.
"The Knowledge" - I don't know what else to call it but this is my name for it. The Knowledge is arguably the greatest benefit of all. From a social point of view at least. For me, it's the thought in your mind when you enter a room and look around wondering "I wonder if anyone here knows about NoFap". It's not just knowing about NoFap though but actually practicing it wholeheartedly. This is not meant to sound pretentious, forgive me if it does. But for me it's knowing that you have the cheat code to life and it's your own little secret. It reinforces confidence, casts aside all doubts and inspires progression within me every time I step outside.
My life was never really that bad, even when I was an addict. It took PMO abstinence to realise that. Since this began I've really opened my eyes and see now just how unbelievably bad some people do have it. For those really struggling for direction, use your guilt and shame to help you. Whenever these emotions are present you'll know there's still work to be done. But the effort is worth it, you will get rewards, you will grow as a person and most importantly you will have achieved something genuinely meaningful.
I'm still learning, still struggling on some days and definitely still fighting but for the most part I'm the best version of me I believe I've ever been. Share your thoughts and feedback, please. If this helps even one person gain some perspective then it's a win.
Last edited:
well I need to go out and start find outside hobbies while doing nofap I guess 
