29 Months

First, you should know that my success story involves religion. Even if that makes you a little uncomfortable, I hope you'll read on.

2 1/2 years ago, my friends, I was so addicted to pornography and masturbation that I couldn't even imagine what life would be like without it. I'd been using for decades. I am also a lifelong Catholic, and always tried to practice my faith as best as possible. I felt guilty about trying to practice Christianity while compulsively feeding my addiction practically every day. This caused no end of pain and problems in my life. Thankfully, I never stopped praying and asking the Lord to free me from the prison that pornography and masturbation had become for me.

As a devotee to the Blessed Virgin Mary, I was very hopeful when the Church offered a plenary indulgence for the faithful who attended Mass and went to the sacrament of Confession in 2017 which marked the 100th anniversary of the Marian apparitions that took place in Fatima, Portugal. I know that indulgences are scorned among non Catholics, and even Catholics who don't understand what indulgences really are tend to cringe at the mention of them, but they are valid when appropriately applied. Anyway, I'd long asked Our Lady of Fatima, (Mary, the mother of Jesus) for her prayers to her Son for my forgiveness. On that day, October 13, 2017, I took a long lunch break, went to Mass and went to Confession and prayed for the indulgence.

While the skies didn't part and I didn't, of course, feel any differently, I decided that I shouldn't partake in pornography and masturbation on the very day that I'd asked the Lord for forgiveness, so I asked to Lord to help me. He did. The next day, I asked Him to help me to avoid the addiction again, just for that day. He did again. I did the same thing the following day, and the following day, and the following day. Eventually, I deleted my saved porn pictures, then videos, then destroyed the DVDs, then deleted the websites from my Bookmarks, until there was nothing left. I still ask for His help just for the day, (as in "our daily bread" or as in gathering just enough manna needed for the day), and He gives me His grace to avoid this temptation. As the title suggests, it has been 29 months, and I'll never go back to my previous way of life...it was like living in a filthy prison. If you're addicted to pornography, then you'll know what I mean.

This grace He gives me allows me to enjoy a peace of mind like I've never know as an adult, having started with pornography as a teenager. I don't have to worry about getting caught by my wife or my kids. I don't have to worry about someone stumbling across pornography after I die. This peace of mind is spectacular! I also have a lot more time and freedom to do things for my family and for myself that I couldn't do before. This is what a sober life is like. Peace and freedom.

In conclusion, I couldn't free myself from pornography and masturbation...I was too far gone...a prisoner. This is the first time I've signed into NoFap since then, and I've only done so to share my story with you in hopes that it will help someone else. Best of luck and know that I keep you all in my prayers. Sincerely, Flow Water.

 

Our Lady of Fatima is one of Mary’s titles based on her appearance to 3 shepherd children back in 1917 in Fatima, Portugal. I will keep you in my prayers.