29 years is enough

I told myself I'd create introduction thread if I made it though 16 days of October so here it goes:

29 years is enough. I just turned 48 and joined here 17 days ago as a 47 year old man. So lets do some math... 47-29 = 18. So yep, I've been fapping for more than half my life. Sometimes occasionally, but mostly addictively as a slave. (There are 2 distinct periods of the space-time continuum here. Pre and post Internet. More on that later.) Although I remember seeing a couple magazines at friend's homes before I was 18, it was nothing because it led to nothing. In fact, one was pure smut and I thought it disgusting. However, nothing could have prepared me for what I would see in the military as a first year enlisted folk. The porn was everywhere. My roommate had it and watched it a lot. It soon took me captive. I worked in a very secure environment with only men, and to make matters worse, there was a tv/vcr in the common room and the crew members started bringing in porn. So I watched and listened to it at work. I remember it being on regularly for at least a couple months before I think somebody said enough was enough.

So I went from never seeing a porn flick until I was 18, to being inundated with it in under a year. By the end of that year, porn had hooked it's talons deep inside my being. That was the year 1985.

 

Thanks Dogwood. I've seen that URL but haven't explored it yet. Plan on doing that sometime soon.

I'm really taxing my memory here. After leaving the military I still wanted the high of orgasm and I was willing to use any magazine available in the house with pretty and seductive looking models. It didn't take much. That was sort of the norm from the late 80s to the mid 90s. Got married in 1991.

Even before the Internet I can't understate the guilt and shame that took place in my mind. It was a terrible cycle.

I stumbled upon Internet porn in 1996. But I gave in immediately even though I knew it was wrong and it put a block in my relationship(for lack of a better word) with God.

 

Thank you Metanoeo. In an odd twist, it seems I've pick up Shingles 3 weeks into this commitment. On the plus side, it's an easy way to rack up days on my counter because that is the last thing I'm thinking about!

I will pick back up in 1996 once I start to get back on the mend.