So I am a little bit of a unique case in the way that I didn't become addicted to porn that degrades women or gives unrealistic ideas about sex, that's because I'm not into viewing girls having sex or their tits bouncing off. I'm attracted to men.
Hot big buff muscle men. That has always been my fantasy.
I like admiring male body, muscle worshiping, watching big strong muscular men jerk off or having either straight sex or gay sex. Internet is FULL of hot hunks doing shows now. I've lost count of how many time I've jerked off to male bodybuilders and muscle dudes jerking off on camera. This kind of porn is so easily accessible. Now with AI logarithms in streaming porn website, its almost impossible to stop scrolling unless I shut down my computer.
I have been watching porn for as long as I can remember, ever since I was a young teenager. Throughout my existence up till the present day, I have always been battling with this aspect of my life. During the early years when hormones were simply out of control, watching porn felt like it was not under my control at all. I had to watch it. I had get relief. It used to get followed by feelings of guilt. Then I would affirm myself to never watch porn again and I would maybe last a week till the hormones would kick in again to the point I just wouldn't be able to control.
Well then came fast speed internet combine that with lonely days and I discovered streaming porn. Spending hours watching and collecting porn every week. Later that led to me downloading videos from the internet and keeping collections on my hard drive. Now since I've always had this guilt attached with my porn viewing habit, I would just say to myself ' WTF am I doing with my life? ' and then would delete all the videos I had downloaded. But eventually I would fall back into the same trip of going back on intenret, spending hours viewing/collecting and downloading and then deleting everything again.
Well thankfully now, since past 2 years I have not been downloading videos and keeping them on my hard drive. I had worked on building some mental defense mechanisms in place with thoughts like '' Eventually I have to quit so no point in downloading '' that has helped me become successful in controlling this habit. And thankfully this has worked.
Another thing has been been beneficial now is that I no longer feel like watching porn or jerking off is out of my control. I dont know maybe because hormones are no longer that active or maybe I really started to have a better grip on this habit but now I just watch porn like I would watch a tv show or listen to music, as something that became a habit and I just have to do it because it would give me pleasure and NOT because '' oh my gawd feeling so horny cant control myself aaaaggggh '' you know what I'm saying.
For a few years now, I feel like my porn viewing habit is under control, I watch porn and jerk off when I WANT to and not because I am being compelled to as something beyond my control. I watch like an hour or so and then thats it. then there would be a 1 to maximum 5 days gap till I would watch porn again for 1-2 hours.I have trained my mind to stop with the guilt and just keep my porn addictions as a separate aspect of my life like I dont need to start dwelling on it or feel bad/guilt when I've spending time with friends or family as to why I am still addicted to porn when I have this really great life, I have just tried to not think about it or let the 2 things mix. But unfortunately I cant. Porn isolates me for somewhat long period of time which leads to guilt for spending time away from loved ones and then I cant function properly.Until recently I have again gone back to watching long hours online now, even creating account on porn hub to start saving up a collection. How did I slip again, not sure. maybe just boredom, maybe because I have a lot of free time etc.or just want to enjoy it.
Now I know about nofap for a few years now. Problem is I cant really relate to it or I need better help understanding as to why I should give up porn. Most people here are straight and trying to give up porn to stop with the unrealistic ideas about sex and so they can improve their dating life. Well this doesn't' apply to me since I am not into straight hardcore porn and I also dont watch porn that degrades women.
I am just confused as to whether my addiction is if it's bad for me or not. Is the kind of porn that i watch ( muscle men cam shows, solo, muscle men gay/straight sex ) actually even harmful?
I need a reason thats going to motivate me to get off the kind of porn I watch and fantasize about. Are there any benefits to me if I stop watching hot hunks in porn? I cant make up my mind as to why I should be giving up porn since the main things that most people on NoFap struggle with do not apply to me. '' Like hey I just watch hot men doing live shows on internet or it's not like I'm watching hot women getting spat on or slapped while some dude's having sex with them hence I'm good '' like this is what is going through my mind right now.
I-COULD-REALLY-USE-SOME-ADVISE-AND-SOME-CLARITY-OF-THOUGHT
Hot big buff muscle men. That has always been my fantasy.
I like admiring male body, muscle worshiping, watching big strong muscular men jerk off or having either straight sex or gay sex. Internet is FULL of hot hunks doing shows now. I've lost count of how many time I've jerked off to male bodybuilders and muscle dudes jerking off on camera. This kind of porn is so easily accessible. Now with AI logarithms in streaming porn website, its almost impossible to stop scrolling unless I shut down my computer.
I have been watching porn for as long as I can remember, ever since I was a young teenager. Throughout my existence up till the present day, I have always been battling with this aspect of my life. During the early years when hormones were simply out of control, watching porn felt like it was not under my control at all. I had to watch it. I had get relief. It used to get followed by feelings of guilt. Then I would affirm myself to never watch porn again and I would maybe last a week till the hormones would kick in again to the point I just wouldn't be able to control.
Well then came fast speed internet combine that with lonely days and I discovered streaming porn. Spending hours watching and collecting porn every week. Later that led to me downloading videos from the internet and keeping collections on my hard drive. Now since I've always had this guilt attached with my porn viewing habit, I would just say to myself ' WTF am I doing with my life? ' and then would delete all the videos I had downloaded. But eventually I would fall back into the same trip of going back on intenret, spending hours viewing/collecting and downloading and then deleting everything again.
Well thankfully now, since past 2 years I have not been downloading videos and keeping them on my hard drive. I had worked on building some mental defense mechanisms in place with thoughts like '' Eventually I have to quit so no point in downloading '' that has helped me become successful in controlling this habit. And thankfully this has worked.
Another thing has been been beneficial now is that I no longer feel like watching porn or jerking off is out of my control. I dont know maybe because hormones are no longer that active or maybe I really started to have a better grip on this habit but now I just watch porn like I would watch a tv show or listen to music, as something that became a habit and I just have to do it because it would give me pleasure and NOT because '' oh my gawd feeling so horny cant control myself aaaaggggh '' you know what I'm saying.
For a few years now, I feel like my porn viewing habit is under control, I watch porn and jerk off when I WANT to and not because I am being compelled to as something beyond my control. I watch like an hour or so and then thats it. then there would be a 1 to maximum 5 days gap till I would watch porn again for 1-2 hours.I have trained my mind to stop with the guilt and just keep my porn addictions as a separate aspect of my life like I dont need to start dwelling on it or feel bad/guilt when I've spending time with friends or family as to why I am still addicted to porn when I have this really great life, I have just tried to not think about it or let the 2 things mix. But unfortunately I cant. Porn isolates me for somewhat long period of time which leads to guilt for spending time away from loved ones and then I cant function properly.Until recently I have again gone back to watching long hours online now, even creating account on porn hub to start saving up a collection. How did I slip again, not sure. maybe just boredom, maybe because I have a lot of free time etc.or just want to enjoy it.
Now I know about nofap for a few years now. Problem is I cant really relate to it or I need better help understanding as to why I should give up porn. Most people here are straight and trying to give up porn to stop with the unrealistic ideas about sex and so they can improve their dating life. Well this doesn't' apply to me since I am not into straight hardcore porn and I also dont watch porn that degrades women.
I am just confused as to whether my addiction is if it's bad for me or not. Is the kind of porn that i watch ( muscle men cam shows, solo, muscle men gay/straight sex ) actually even harmful?
I need a reason thats going to motivate me to get off the kind of porn I watch and fantasize about. Are there any benefits to me if I stop watching hot hunks in porn? I cant make up my mind as to why I should be giving up porn since the main things that most people on NoFap struggle with do not apply to me. '' Like hey I just watch hot men doing live shows on internet or it's not like I'm watching hot women getting spat on or slapped while some dude's having sex with them hence I'm good '' like this is what is going through my mind right now.
I-COULD-REALLY-USE-SOME-ADVISE-AND-SOME-CLARITY-OF-THOUGHT