29M US - AP Needed - Returning - Awareness Group or Individual

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by moonesque, Apr 17, 2020.

  1. moonesque

    moonesque Fapstronaut
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    Hi all,

    I am a 29M from the US who is in a relationship, as my goals are no PM, I am asking an individual or perhaps to form a group of individuals on the forum to help me as an AP and each other.

    I am returning from an 11 month streak into a year long relapse period that was hidden with periods of intermittent abstaining in-between complete addict type usage.

    Before I was completely p-free I went through many months of trial and error which eventually came to a type of rock bottom. This allowed me to work through many of my issues and go on to make changes in life for those months, however I forgot what I had learned and fell asleep over the process, returning back to the illusion during a scare with my own emotions and life responsibility. Lucky enough for me this happened again, this time around I am not hesitant to use and go through with my plan for a PM-free life similar to what I have done before but in greater focus and understanding through awareness and boundaries. As well, I have gained much experience in this matter over the time as my life has become greater than I ever imagined before and I see the disparity between the two. The work we do here is real and it has real positive effects on your life which you do with your own effort.

    However given what I have said above, my life is messed up and I am sick. I have had a tendency to lean on fantasy / disconnect from reality which underlies my actions, this effect on life is like always watching the film of your own life, passing you by and the consequences become more and more distant. And these consequences are cruel on myself and those around me including the ones I love. I will be working on renouncing PM and taking responsibility for my own life with my own effort and only myself. Intimacy, lying, self-deception, and story creation (fantasy) will all be topics of main discussion, I am not interested in stopping just the actions of PM, but looking at the source of the problem and working through it completely. But like many things, this doesn't mean I don't need help to do this from other people.

    I suggest either making a small group of 3-8 people who can discuss their experiences without judgement and use observation and sharing to foster accountability and awareness. We are reporting facts and supporting each other through any trial and error and keeping us to the standards of the what NoFap is and what is really positive beyond that.

    Or if you have read this and think you understand what I am discussing to help me and let me help you on how to be p-free in the state we are actually in now. What is essential is complete honesty, a non-critical attitude, and objective based sharing and accountability, no illusions. I will make an AP situation work if it is right for both of us.

    Please feel free to reply in this thread or message me if this sounds positive for you. I am aiming to be free from P and any influence like which I've stated above and would be glad to hear more suggestions through work and connection.
     

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