3.5 years of trying - Please help

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by A_free_man, Mar 2, 2020.

  1. A_free_man

    A_free_man Fapstronaut

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    I found out about the addiction when I got into boxing and was around 14. I noticed that it was a big problem and started trying to take care of it, however, it’s gotten even worse!

    I’m so shameful and disappointed in myself, I prepare myself like crazy and I have never even gotten past 15 days!! I’ve tried the “just wing it” approach too and of course that didn’t work.

    I’ve tried: counter, no counter, meditating, cold showers, accountability group, accountability partner, audiobooks, watching NoFap videos, reading NoFap articles, journaling, accountability mirror, working out (I do it all the time but seems like all it does is raise my testostorone from all the lifting and makes it harder), writing a big ass page on what to do when urges hit, even blocking the sites on my computer and phone but I just end up turning the restrictions off.

    I don’t know what to do. I MUST quit it right now. I have ~18/19 days until a birthday party and I couldnt even imagine what would it be like, but It’s be dreadful to turn up after relapsing again. I’m so tired! I want to change, I’m tired of my own self but I always indulge in the urges and not look at long term goals, I’ve lost all belief in myself and motivation to even push through the urges.

    Today I just relapsed again after getting my stuff “together” and being ready... parents left the house, cancelled my chores to just indulge in this bs... and almost did it twice, just stopped...

    My fetishes have become crazier and I’m edging for longer periods of time... until I get blueballs, because when I start PM’ing it’s just like “whatever” for me from then on.

    I know I’m whining right now and this post is chaotic but I literally dont know what to do. Please, help any way you can, I have to get it right..I see no point in living like this. (No this isnt a suicidal thought it’s just dreadful and I hate my current boring lifestyle).
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2020
  2. rob13_

    rob13_ Fapstronaut

    My man it's simple; you don't want it bad enough. Yeah you say you've been fighting, but I'm willing to bet most of those relapses are just you giving into a voice in your head that says you need it.

    You need to realise that success on this path is a choice, not luck. You CHOOSE to abstain, and you CHOOSE to relapse. There's no gun to your head if you don't but, you've just let circumstance override your better judgement.

    All the strategy in the world won't do Jack shit if you don't have the heart to kick this addiction. So I'm going to ask: Do you have what it takes?

    To resist the urges?
    To change your lifestyle around your goal?
    To make sacrifices of others things that cause triggers?
    To have the intestinal fortitude to just grind out the days?

    Before you can truly success, you need to answer these questions and make the choice to be victorious. When you're ready, you'll make the leap. You won't be perfect but when you're ready you won't fall back down all the way.

    Get the hell up. Reload and re-engage, and make the damn choice to win. Because no one is gonna do this for you. It's your choice.

    So make the right one. Today, and forever.
     
    greatchinaski, slug175, domsi and 2 others like this.
  3. A_free_man

    A_free_man Fapstronaut

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    Thank you a lot. I was aware of it but I really needed to hear it from someone else and being straight up
     
    rob13_ likes this.
  4. Askgodfor

    Askgodfor Fapstronaut

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    Bro I've been fighting this fight for 3 years......30 day streaks....15 day streaks.....42 day streak was top....... (no PMO)

    I can tell you for certain that you have ONE chance to get out of this trap, and none of the other gimicks you tried, as you have seen:

    Call into the next Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting. Just make the call and go from there.

    Until you admit to yourself, and others, that you are an addict, and have a fellowship of supporting people, WHO YOU CAN CALL (unlike on NoFap where youre lucky if you get one paragraph response in a thread), you can CALL SOMEONE anytime. CALL ME BRO. My Skype is mpkelly200. I'm available to talk right now.

    I have so far been on the Sunday night Eurocall for 2 sundays in a row, and I feel so so so much better. I feel like I have hope. I feel better than I did during my 42 day streak. I have 3 people from the call who I've had direct one-on-one calls with.

    I found a Sponsor, and I've talked to him for a total of probably 2 hours.

    Call me bro I'm looking for your call.

    http://saatalk.info/us/meetings
     
    juniormelville likes this.
  5. Askgodfor

    Askgodfor Fapstronaut

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    And here's the key to the whole SAA program: Willpower is not going to work. It's the power of God. The power of God, as you know him, is the only thing that is going to allow you to be free from this addiction. Willpower doesnt work, and you can see how it has not worked out so far.

    The fellowhship helps us to understand how to turn to God.
     
  6. rob13_

    rob13_ Fapstronaut

    Now go out and make it a reality
     
  7. A_free_man

    A_free_man Fapstronaut

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  8. juniormelville

    juniormelville Fapstronaut

    Whether or not you call it God, in my experience the spiritual path is the only way to transform yourself and get to the root of the problem. With support from other recoverers too.
     
    SirWanksalot likes this.
  9. Listen, whenever you want to fap just get out of the house and go for a walk, go anywhere don’t stay alone.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  10. it's bad idea to live alone, try to live with a membre of your family, a friend, or even a roommate.
    after that it will be easy to find a girlfriend and why not found a family.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  11. Ravefist

    Ravefist Fapstronaut

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    Has your h air been affected? like do you have thinning hair?
     
  12. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    if your having hairloss its probably genetic, or related to your lifestyle, its not a direct influence of porn, but couls be one of bad eating and sleeping habbits + not exercising. but genetics play the biggest role here, are other family members of yours bald/have thin(ing) hair?
     
  13. Ravefist

    Ravefist Fapstronaut

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    Not uncle but father yes.
     
  14. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    then youre probably going to be bald aswell, theres nothing we can do about that yet, because technology still isnt advanced enough
     
  15. Ravefist

    Ravefist Fapstronaut

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    Nah, I dont think so. I got a ton of things to do to stay thicc on the top. Cheers
     
  16. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    like what if i may ask?
     
  17. Askgodfor

    Askgodfor Fapstronaut

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    Wowwww !!!! SAA has been working for me. The community, the calls. I have my longest streak ever. Temptation is nearly non existent. Things have changed a bit b/c for 3 weeks I've been living with a woman. We sleep in same bed but have no sexual contact. At the beginning we had sex maybe 3 times.
     

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