3 months of SA meetings - here's what i've learned

PMO is an addiction. The drug? Lust. We use Lust to cover up unpleasantness. This can include anxiety, fear, loneliness, anger, etc..

But what of the superpowers?

Our first and natural response to quitting PMO is hope. We discover some self-control over that which seemed uncontrollable. In jubilation, we are flooded with relief and pride, joy, surprise, and happiness. Our self-confidence skyrockets!

This state is temporary. If we want to stay sober, we have to face the unpleasantness.

It is for that reason many of us experience disturbing emotions when we quit PMO! We've lost our coping mechanism. Always before, when we were stressed, or tired, or lonely, we'd go to Lust. But now, we can't. Shit.

To stay sober we must find another way of dealing with the unpleasantness. Meditation, prayer, SA meetings, friendships, exercise. All these become crucial in our recovery.

I had so much unpleasantness, I went to my wife and cried in her arms, like a baby. I was forced to be vulnerable. I didn’t want to! But there was no other way. It was a wonderful experience. I also started working out more. I started meditation and prayer. I'm learning to deal with my anxiety through healthy means.

Through sobriety, our weaknesses become our strengths. We go through the pain, the loneliness, the insecurity – all the things we’ve been hiding from – and discover a better self as a result.

Another incredibly important concept is the idea that lust is progressive. As an addiction, lust cannot be satisfied. The more we get, the more we want. Also, it always needs increasing debauchery. You will continually get worse and worse.

A common misconception is that without MO as a release we will naturally be horny all the time. This is patently untrue, and a dangerous lie. As I noted above, MO is addictive and progressive: the more we get the more we want. The urge cannot be satisfied. Therefore, the best route towards feeling less horny, is surprisingly, to think and experience sex less. To lust less. It is counter-intuitive, but i tell you based on my own experience and that of thousands of men in recovery it is the truth.

Again, in all of this, at the root of it, is this little bastard named "Lust". This is the foundation. It is not porn, nor masturbation, nor orgasm. It is simply Lust. This is why we can stop PMO but still have so many troubles. As imaginative people we can run a porn video in our own minds!! We can walk around town and think ourselves into a sexual frenzy.

The fight is Lust. Control your thoughts throughout the day, avoid lustfull thinking, and you'll find that at night, and in the morning, when you're alone it is much easier to resist.

Good Luck! and God Bless!

(For more information read Sexaholic Anonymous "white book")

 

Welcome! and good luck