3 questions for the guys.

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Jbird22, Jul 26, 2014.

  1. Jbird22

    Jbird22 Fapstronaut

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    1. What did you do before the Internet was around for porn?
    2. What would your reaction be if you found out in the exact same manner or if you just found out your wife was doing exactly what you do (whatever that may be) porn etc, what would you do?
    3. If you were out of town or in a position to where your wife would never find out and were approached by a girl, like the ones you watch in your porn, wanting to have sex with you for free-would you do it?
    Want to hear some honest answers, thanks!
     
  2. dutchman1983

    dutchman1983 Fapstronaut

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    1. Before porn on the internet I was looking inside the advertisment leaflet fot hot people. I discoverd porn on the internet when I was 18. Now I'm 30 years old.
    2. I would be baffled. I would be angry amd aggrieved.
    3. I think I won't resist such temtation.
     
  3. FinallyHappy97

    FinallyHappy97 Fapstronaut

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    Same here,
    1.I used to skip threw the channels searching for girls to look at,
    2.I would be mad,
    3.It would be really hard to resist... but I would if I was married
    but that was the past before NoFap lol im so glad im not like that anymore
    Ask as many questions as you want were here to help
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2014
  4. singed

    singed Fapstronaut

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    1. I had access to some magazines from a fairly young age. When I was old enough to buy them, I did occasionally, but it didn't lead to anything like my addiction.
    EDIT: I forgot: while I was in high school I masturbated a lot to my year books. Kind of pathetic really.
    2. I would mostly be confused because she has difficulty with masturbation. I would be hurt about her keeping it from me, but would be understanding about the addiction itself. I like to think that I could continue to be supportive of her struggle against the habit better than she was able to for me. Of course, I can't be sure of how it would have been before I had such first-hand insight.
    3. God, no. For several reasons. Although I would almost certainly relapse, fapping like crazy thinking about the girl.
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2014
  5. BetterPerson

    BetterPerson Fapstronaut

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    1) I was like 15 and was checking what Internet was ( browsing,chatting,emailing ) I never heard of word called porn when I was into computer so I was kinda innocent back then,then porn happened and changed my life to worse.
    2) I'm not married but if I were then it would terrible to me and I won't accept it.
    3) No definitely not, even if she was in another planet I would never cheat on her.I want to be hers and she is mine only, it is a promise I made to myself even if I still haven't met the one yet.
    If people are saying it is hard to resist then what the hell are we doing here? I think we guys decided to join to be a better person.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2014
  6. refreshlifebutton

    refreshlifebutton Fapstronaut

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    1. I was never very heavily into pornography until after enduring sexual assault/rape. I needed to reaffirm my masculinity and thought that pornography was the safest way (because the men are normally in control and the women can't assault/rape you if they aren't real). It wasn't a healthy way to deal with things which is why I am on Nofap now. I grew up in a rather strict environment and quite frankly didn't spend much time with pornography (outside of a few instances where friends had magazines which I looked at and thought were kind of silly).

    2. I tend to be more understanding than most people I know. So, if I found out that a woman I was dating (I'm not married, and recently broke up with my girlfriend) had a PMO/Porn addiction I would try to help and insist that if we were to go further she has to stop. The difference is I can help her and she doesn't have to go at it alone.

    3. No I would not. I have never cheated nor will I (I have been cheated on in the past, but that's another story). In addition to being morally wrong and against my nature to cheat, I have an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that makes me have an irrational fear of certain germs and STDs. I don't hug random people (only the woman I am in love with or a very old friend). So, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would not cheat.
     
  7. 1. Internet porn was always around by 'that' time

    2. I would be afraid if my SO was watching that stuff. I would try to convince my SO to stop watching porn

    3. As long as I am single I would have sex with that person
     
  8. godslove

    godslove Fapstronaut

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    Curiosity, what is the purpose of the question?
     
  9. Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

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    1. When I was 9 I found my first porn magazines in a dumpster. I continued with magazines until I got my first VHS, then DVD then I had streaming ever since. I am 23 now. It's been 14 years, it's been in my life longer than it hasn't.

    2. If I found out my GF was watching porn I honestly would probably be absolutely pissed. I would however, get over it. The reason I would be pissed is she has been vocal about not liking porn and how bad it is. So she would have been lying to me directly rather than hiding it and lying indirectly.

    3. When we first started dating about a year in, I lived in a crazy party house. I would come home to women all over the floors + couches ect. every day after work. [I did awake overnights.] One day I came home and a girl was in my bed laying in just her bra and panties and I'm not going to lie to you she was hot as hell. I told her to F off and get out of my room. She grabbed her stuff and got right out. The feeling I had after that, was regret, and pride. I was proud that I was able to stay faithful and I was regretful because my porn brain was going wild on WHY THE F WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?! At a time when I was ruled by porn, this was a great accomplishment. I didn't even know PMO was a problem until 2 weeks ago when I stumbled across NoFap while on reddit actually looking for porn ironically.
     
  10. wave

    wave Fapstronaut

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    1. Before porn was around, I would see ad's in the paper of young ladies posing in female underwear, lol. I would try and imagine girls at school, but didn't really have too much of an idea what was underneath. My first exposure to internet porn was when I was 15-16, I got a call from my mom telling me not to watch porn... the weirdest thing ever... I guess she was listening to one of those christian idiots on the radio (I am christian btw but there are many pastors who are trying to peddle the scriptures for profit, avoid those fools). I suppose my mom panicked, and foolishly called me to tell me what not TO DO! I was first off offended. But when the phone call ended... I thought, whats the big deal with this stuff anyway... so I looked... and guess what, I liked it. sigh. FAIL PARENTING!

    2. Well yea it would be bad, but before I was educated on the subject, I thought porn was harmless. And the only reason women were offended when their guys would watch porn was cuz all women had this hard wired obsession with wanting to be desired after. Then I learned that porn diminishes desire for the actual thing, so we must be vigilant to intercept our thoughts before our body reacts to cue's that would instigate a physical sexual reaction (getting hard, etc)

    Now I am convinced nobody should be watching this poison, so they won't desensitize themselves, and destroy relationships, and the ability to love a partner for life.

    3. It would be a bad idea. I have been approached in the past... BUT NEVER FOR FREE LOL. I turned em all down, and declared Jesus Christ as Lord who deserves all our love. Pretty much didn't see their faces after that, sigh. Tho, afterwards I would be so pent up sexually, I would end up fapping, much to my own grievance. I'm currently busy rebooting fyi.
     
  11. Never stop trying

    Never stop trying Fapstronaut

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    Honestly....
    1. Playboy was the beginning of the downward spiral, then Penthouse, Penthouse forum, VHS, internet pictures, videos, chatrooms..... (internet really took the addictions to the next level).

    2. This scenario has (2) answers depending on whether or not her involvement has led her to developing online "relationships" with other men or women.

    If yes then sorry, were pretty much done depending on the type and degree of involvement with that "online relationship".

    If no then I would definitely insist upon a sincere willingness on her part to take whatever actions she needed to get control over the addiction. I now understand that getting control over any addiction does not happen on the first or even sometimes multiple attempts. As long as I knew there was a sincere and continued effort AND there was complete transparency on her part. Of course I would be more than willing to do whatever I could to be a part of that recovery.

    3. Don't kid yourself guy's, the wife will alway's find out.....
    But to answer your question. I would absolutely be tempted even as you "fantasize" that there was no way of her ever finding out. Still though, I would not be able to live with myself. So thanks but no thanks.
     
  12. greyballon

    greyballon Fapstronaut

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    These are exactly my answers, too :)
     
  13. noPornForever

    noPornForever Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    1. I grew in a house that porn never was a problem, so I always had some Playboy magazines available even when I was very little, but then, the VHS came, then the internet pictures and videos.

    2. I would comprehend her and try to convince her to let it go together.

    3. No, because before to be my wife, she is my one of my best friends, and I'd never betray a friend.
     
  14. SlowHandJohn

    SlowHandJohn New Fapstronaut

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    1. Started with girlie mags, Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, OUI, you name it. Magazine ads, any pics of scantily clad women, phone chat lines (not 900#), and finally, 18 years ago, internet porn came into my life.
    2. If she was doing it? Well, I don't know. I'd want her to get help and stop if it was hurting our relationship.
    3. I'd love to say I wouldn't do it. I would definitely be tempted but hopefully I'd be strong. Eighteen years of marriage and I've yet to stray.
     
  15. zavenwycliffe

    zavenwycliffe Fapstronaut

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    1. My first ever lead into porn was the seemingly innocent bra and swimsuit models in newspaper ads for stores like Kohl's, JC Penney, etc. I fapped to those for a couple years because Internet was restricted on my phone by my parents. I eventually found out how to hack the internet though, and this was when I got into real porn. I still remember the first night I saw a naked girl for the first time. It would be nice if we could go back in time and tell ourselves things we would regret later.

    2. I'm not married yet, but if I found out my future wife masturbated to porn, I think I would be shocked and angry at first. Not exactly angry with her for what she was doing, but angry because I know how much pain and regret porn addiction causes. I would learn to be sympathetic and I would definitely support her and help her recover.

    3. If I ever had sex with another woman besides my wife, I would be eaten away inside by guilt. It would be tempting if I was in a sexual mood, but my wife is better than that and she deserves better than that. So no, I wouldn't have sex with a hot woman even if my wife would never find out. God would know anyway, and that's worse than my wife knowing.
     
  16. anon2394

    anon2394 Fapstronaut

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    1) buy porn cd's, used to have one at home but i broke it
    2) won't be pissed, probably just laugh and talk about it
    3) nope, would turn it down and call my wife to talk dirty(not married yet)
     
  17. stronger626

    stronger626 Fapstronaut

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    1. I learned to masterbate by mistake. I had an erection when I was 10 and was bored. Before you know it I orgasmed and it scared the shit out of me. Took me weeks to attempt again but curiousity got me. I did not use porn, I thought I was the only one to discover this until a friend of mine showed me porn a year later.
    2. I wouldnt be mad, I would want to support her and help her through. I think if we got through it together it would show her how much I care and really strengthen the reltionship.
    3. I would never cheat. Yes there would be temptation but I find it hard to be sexual with someone without a bond to begin with. But if I choose to be with someone there is a reason I choose her, I wouldnt jeopordize that at any cost. Love is far more meaningful than sex.
     
  18. jmark

    jmark Banned

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    1. Magazines. VHS.

    2. I'd be livid. I'd smash the computer and call the ISP to cancel the service. I'd throw her smartphone off a bridge.

    3. No. I'd hightail it outta there. Just run.
     
  19. diesel2256

    diesel2256 Fapstronaut

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    1.) The internet was available to me since the beginning.
    2.) Current girl I'm talking to uses porn. It doesn't really bother me -- I juct feel sad for her.
    3.) Not married (obviously) and I can't imagine being married. I might have sex with her, but she'd need to be intelligent as well to really turn me on.
     
  20. StarKing

    StarKing Guest

    1. stole magazines and borrowed porn from friends.
    2. ask her to try her fantasies out on me...
    3. had it happen, i stayed true to her
     

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