3 questions for the guys.

Magazines, VHS tapes etc.

In the past I would have been either turned on, indifferent or even encouraged us to watch porn together.

I'm not so sure now - but I'm incredibly open minded, so the problems I've had are very much my own and won't necessarily apply to her.

I have done this - but not in a close relationship where I was really into the girl. I've also been in relationships where I've turned down casual sex. I've never been married, but in terms of other relationships there's no "one size fits all" answer for me and not all people respond to extra-marital sex the same way.

 

1. Started out pretty much from the very beginning with internet porn (started at 12, I am 20 years old now). I think starting from such an early age has been severely damaging to my ego/love life/sexual expections.

2. I would not see any reason to be mad that my partner has a porn addiction as long as she is not making any online relationships or meeting guys from the internet without me knowing. I would urge her to stop so that we could get the most out of her sex life. I am doing PMO after several failed attempts at sex (couldn't get it up most of the times i've had intercourse; might be due to excessive PMO for half my life). I find PMO more exciting and satisfying than sex because it can actually get me off. I don't want her to feel the same way. I know that in reality, sex has the potential to be several times more satisfying and stimulating than porn. I would urge her to stop so we can both reap the benefits of a real, true and satisfying love life. This is impossible to obtain when your minds are wired toward porn. Now that I am fairly certain my sexual problems may be due to PIED, I will be upfront and honest with my partner in the future about my problem before we engage in intercourse. I expect her to be understanding and considerate. If she doesn't want to stick around while I fight my addiction that is totally fine, but if she loves me I think she will be willing to wait.

3. I have and will continue to turn down ANY sexual advances from ANY woman in the future as long as I am in a true, loving relationship. Even if I am mad at her, I wouldn't cheat on her until we have broken-up.

 

1. nothing. The Internet/availability is/was the cause of the problem.
2. An honest discussion
3. Absolutely not. What kind of a question is this?

 

1. What did you do before the Internet was around for porn?

The internet has been around for quite a long time, but when I first started out as a kid it was magazines that ranged from simple lingerie magazines to Playboy magazines that my friends managed to get a hold of. There was also the "fuzzy channel" on TV. Most of the time it was just by myself since I was just so fascinated with the new activity I discovered. If wasn't really an issue until my family first got internet in the house.


2. What would your reaction be if you found out in the exact same manner or if you just found out your wife was doing exactly what you do (whatever that may be) porn etc, what would you do?

I would talk to her about it and open up about my own addiction.


3. If you were out of town or in a position to where your wife would never find out and were approached by a girl, like the ones you watch in your porn, wanting to have sex with you for free-would you do it?

People that cheat on their wife or husband deserve to have their genitalia removed. I don't sympathize with cheaters. I have never ... nor will I ever ... cheat on anyone that I'm involved with because to me that is the one of the most horrible things you can do to the person you're involved with. If you're too immature to be in a committed relationship, then don't be in one ... and don't drag other people down to satisfy your childish urges. Real men and women don't cheat on their lovers.

 

1. I think I had some imagination, or there'd be people I considered attractive maybe on TV shows that I watched or whatever.

2. I'd be upset, but I'd really try my best to talk to them - convince them it's wrong and unhealthy, refer them to the sites I've found and the research I've done, but hopefully be sympathetic and understand that it's an addiction and they're probably struggling also.

3. It's be tempting, but thankfully I'm still a virgin and plan to remain that way for some time. I think being motivated by my faith and the guilt I know I'd feel after would probably convince me to resist.

 

1. It was really only the internet for me. I'm 21, I caught the upswing of internet porn.

2. Relieved and upset at the same time. Relieved, because I would now have someone to share the burden with, but upset because why didn't she tell me earlier? Likely for the same reasons I didn't tell her.

3. Many of us like to say "of course I'd say no," but would you, truly? I'm not married, but I have been placed in a situation like that before. It isn't as easy as it sounds to say no, even though you KNOW it's wrong. Perhaps if I were bonded by marriage, or if I were a more religious man, my answer would be different. Just my cynical side showing.