3 Weeks in...Could use some advice.

Hi. Welcome to forum!

Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain. It is a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body. Check out this Ted talk, it gives a good idea of what's it about when it comes to philosophy. As far as practical side of it there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations to get you started.

Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!

 

Well... You have a dilemma. Your words draw out two possibilities. Do you think bedding a woman (at this point) is against your morals? I don't know, I am just a stranger asking whether you know what you want.

The choice is really simple, but maybe for you, it may be difficult to decide. But the only questions you need to ask and answer yourself (SPOILER: No one can answer it for you ) are whether or not you are okay with this:

And whether the choice of character (if there is one) is one you are willing to take. But when you decide, stick to your decision. Maybe at this point, with three weeks on your clock, there's still time to wait? Maybe your addiction is manifesting itself in another form? Just be aware of all the possibilities, and you'll be fine.

I wish the very best for you in your travellings.

 

I used to have this same dilemma when I was single, I felt almost a desperation trying to be with any woman (any, older, younger (all over 18 of course, any size and shape) and when I couldn’t get a woman I was interested, then I would find interest in guys and trans online and when I totally struck out, porn was always there.

Now as I’m married, I still find myself fantasizing about any woman I see or talk to, but I find that to be perfectly Normal because thinking it and acting upon it is two separate things. I have never physically cheated on my wife, and while I have never exchanged numbers with any woman while being with my wife. I have grown to talking to women I work with and being polite with women at the gym and at the store and anywhere in general, and I have never been like that before nofap. While some of them I do fantasize about for moments or at random times after words or will bullshit about with my friends “oh this one chick at the gym...” etc I don’t act on it.

I think it’s fine for you to want to have sex but don’t let it consume your life and spill over into porn and other actions. Everything you’re saying (getting numbers etc) sounds very natural and let everything happen naturally even if it leads to sex.

I don’t believe in literal God but a higher power so take this advice into play...

“I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. This is something that God recognizes I will do--and I have done it--and God forgives me for it." - Jimmy Carter