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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 2, 2017.
Yeah it kinda does, bui I take full responsibility for my actions. I let the part that is still attached to PMO take over and went into auto-pilot; instead of feeling the pain in the moment I went for temporary pleasure which will never offer fullfillment or satisfaction.
Thanks! I appreciate your positivity and encouragement! 30 days is on lock.
Bit sad tonight. Not much to share.
Take care y’all.
Day 7: I made it to one week! The battle has only just begun, though. I must get rid of other bad habits and replace them with good habits. That means no video games, no idle video-watching, no wasting time! And instead, more working out, more working at my job and more prayer!!!
I relapsed 9 times for 6 days, the last relapse was 2 days ago. I fap because I thought it would relief my stress, but it only made me even more stress. Right now I know better and I will be a better person.
Tomorrow will make 10 days. That went fast!
3/30 Today's sunny. My mind and my purposes are clear.
Still a bit depressed today and angry as well. Didn’t sleep enough so the anger might be due to that, I don’t know. I don’t wanna come on here and post a nice little motivation quote, telling you all how feelings should not affect us and how we should push through and ignore them because that’s not how I think at all.
I just have to live through it and be sad if I am feeling sad, but what I can do is stick to my routine, not making excuses but not denying what I feel either.
Feelings come and go, I should keep my days the same.
Grateful to be 25 days in, still clean, no shame, no feeling disgusting, that’s something.
4/30 I feel excited but I am here.
Day zero of 30
10/30 Very excited to hit double digits once again!
I didn't think of watching porn and masturbate today. And as always, it won't last.
Starting today. 0/30.
As an OCD sufferer I realize I live in so much fear, I wonder how much fear affects our lives and also about the changes it caused to my brain, I doubt I can ever completely reverse it as I've developed during adolescence with it. Fear is an energy and it's probably extremely destructive to be feeding it, to be surrounded by this energy on a daily basis. I know to I need to start eating right to reduce it, so I'm stopping sugar and coffee. The next week or weeks will be tough, but it's just like porn, it really has no purpose in my life, it's a temporary pleasure for long term pain. It's not giving me anything other than superficial pleasure, it's detrimental to my health and well-being, my self-respect and confidence too as I know I'm doing something that's not respecting my body and mind, probably terribly worsening my OCD, which in turn makes me live in fear, just overall degrading my life.
I can't just wait around and hope one day I'll live the way I want to live, just like PMO, I need to take action. So I ordered Pure, White and Deadly to keep my mind focused and immersed in the topic. I'm halfway through Your Brain on Porn and I'd recommend it to anyone, if you're trying to quit, it's perfect to keep learning about the topic and being proactive. You can't just ignore a problem as you actively learn more and more about it, it keeps your mind dedicated, that's my plan for sugar as well. My brain is probably hard-wired to sugar though as I've always consumed it and developed with it, but maybe it's easier than sexual desires, who knows.
Kinda unrelated but today I thought there's too much evil in the world already, we really can't afford to create anymore than there is, we need to be as good as we can.
Oops.. Today (saturday)!