Day 6: The monster has started to peep in. Have been struggling to kick out the thought of PMO since morning. For the past four days it was calm as an ocean, but the Tsunami has stuck today. The thought of relapsing has been constantly poking my mind. Fighting really hard to keep it at bay. When ever I feel like I want to go back to the PMO, I start diverting my mind (Either I chat with people around me or to the place where I can't be alone). So far a hard fought and successful day. Things I did today: * Continued the practice of meditation * Tried few Kegal exercises * Kept busy throughout the day
Day 10/30. A very tough one today. A lot of my underlying problems came to the forefront. I struggle a lot with criticism from others and a lack of confidence in myself. Anytime this happens (for example playing sports and making mistakes) i run to porn. I at least didn't run to porn as it would only make me feel even worse than i feel right now. Im sick of being a push over in life. A person people look at with a sense of sympathy or a sense of pity. Almost like a lost dog who needs help. I know the process will be rough but i jus have to go through the pain of it all.
2/30 I will never watch porn or any other sexually exiting materials in these days. And also I will completely stop day dreaming about sex which have became a habit of mine. I have stop these two completely because these two wont let my brain reboot properly.
Day 30 is done. That last week was hard! I am so proud of myself, and I never thought I could do it, and I can! Thank you for all of your struggles! Let's keep doing this.
Day 7: Kind of a roller coaster day. I had a positive feel, when I started the day. But, the hell broke loose towards mid-day. It was not because of the urge to watch P, it was because that I lacked interest in anything around me. Prepared an excellent plan for the day, but through mid day it fell apart. I just spent three hours without doing anything useful (without even conscious of my surrounding). Frustrated about myself. The sky got clear in the evening. I felt better after 5 PM. Spoke to few of my friends, written an article for my blog and felt so positive. Things I did today: * Meditation * Kept reminding that the mood swing is common and will be alright once I am out of this addiction * Made a deliberate attempt to look into positives of everything * Read few success stories of rebooters (Motivated)
