30 Day Lite Mode Challenge

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Day 2/30
Today was good! Like my first time through, I feel surprisingly good about it, and I've been keeping myself busy pretty well. I didn't get to work out today but I spent 10am-3pm exploring a local National Park, did some pretty physically intense bouldering. Lots of fun, beautiful day.
I'm starting to realize that my greatest challenge here will be breaking a new personal record for days free of PMO, and then, of course, getting off it indefinitely.
If I didn't mention in previous posts, I attempted this challenge 2 years ago. Relapsed 3 times before reaching 50 days without PMO, and for some reason, I just quit it after that. It's been really bad lately, with PMO being the first and last thing I do most days. I'm realizing this needs to stop. I want to lead as healthy of a life as possible, and my love life, physical health and social anxiety are likely being severely affected by how frequent my PMO is. Also, the semester just started, and when I go to class after PMO the brain fog is noticeable.
To everyone struggling with this challenge,
In my opinion, relapsing is an inevitability (for most people). But what counts, what we're committing ourselves to when we sign up for this challenge, is trying again. The only way to truly fail this challenge is by giving up. Stay strong, all.
 
21/30. Yesterday spent four or five hours reading the journals of people who have let go of porn indefinitely and now hang around supporting others (including me). Thinking and writing about how I can understand and reconcile with my desire for porn.

Ironically, porn is still consuming huge amounts of my time. But this is the first time I've taken seriously the idea of just stopping. It's always been "I just need some time to get back to even and I'll be fine."

Really glad you guys are here.
 
One more thing. Yesterday I suddenly realized that I was looking at porn on my monitor and my hand was in my lap! S..t!! I blew it. How did that happen?

Then I realized I was in the middle of a dream... Relief!
 
EdricKr said:
Phil/Dad, sounds like there's an interesting story behind this enigmatic post. What's going on with you?
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I was in a rush so posted quickly. My 18 month old daughter had an inexplicable meltdown that day. She seemed like she was suffering. That really stressed me out and seemed to deplete my self-regulation...

1/30
 
Deth said:
Day 2/30
To everyone struggling with this challenge,
In my opinion, relapsing is an inevitability (for most people). But what counts, what we're committing ourselves to when we sign up for this challenge, is trying again. The only way to truly fail this challenge is by giving up. Stay strong, all.
Click to expand...

Very well said!
 
Oh, yeah. That's totally understandable. I was just reading the following post which made me think about what coping resources I will use when PMO is off the table.

Fenix Rising said:
And there is one more negative side to abstention; you lose one coping mechanism. PMO is very effective in numbing uncomfortable emotions and/or pain. Once it's gone, you have a problem how to deal with your negative emotions ("shit" that has been causing you stress will not go away just because you stopped PMOing). There are not many activities (with exception of alcohol/drugs, anxiolytics and sex) that can give you similar level of numbing and relaxation ("a quick fix") as PMO does. Exercising, prayer, meditation, socializing all help, but it's hard to force yourself to do them when you're feeling down or anxious. Addiction is only a blister put on a wound, once removed, healing can begin and as we all know healing can be painful.
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0/30.
I relapsed today. I got back from a weekend of hiking and partying and I just felt am overwhelming urge. I'm so used to giving into that urge that I slipped.
 
23/30. Feel like I'm in a stable orbit around Planet Porn. It's a steep gravity well, but I somehow keep falling "around" it rather than "into" it.

@Deth, you might consider reflecting on your motivations - what was it that brought you here? - and paint a picture for yourself of how life might be without compulsive porn. The most important thing, as you yourself said, is to stay with it. Pullin' for ya.
 
EdricKr said:
23/30. Feel like I'm in a stable orbit around Planet Porn. It's a steep gravity well, but I somehow keep falling "around" it rather than "into" it.

@Deth, you might consider reflecting on your motivations - what was it that brought you here? - and paint a picture for yourself of how life might be without compulsive porn. The most important thing, as you yourself said, is to stay with it. Pullin' for ya.
Click to expand...
You're totally right, man. I know without PMO I'd be healthier, more social, and have more energy to put toward things like school, socializing, exercise, and work. I know I need to keep that in mind.
The urges have been there a little bit all day. There's this cute girl in my math class, I accidentally spent a bit too much time checking her out and now I can't get her out of my head. We'll see how falling asleep tonight goes. Day 1/30
 
Deth said:
You're totally right, man. I know without PMO I'd be healthier, more social, and have more energy to put toward things like school, socializing, exercise, and work. I know I need to keep that in mind.
The urges have been there a little bit all day. There's this cute girl in my math class, I accidentally spent a bit too much time checking her out and now I can't get her out of my head. We'll see how falling asleep tonight goes. Day 1/30
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That's one of the usual triggers for me. another is day dreaming/fantasizing and last is Stress

When something like these distract me, I start focusing on what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. Deep breathing exercises are another good way to relax and to get a grip on things.
 
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