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30 days after a few years of struggle

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Amar_Avinash, Jul 17, 2019.

  1. Amar_Avinash

    Amar_Avinash Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,

    I am male, currently in my 4th year of my Bachelor's degree and it has been around 8 years from starting to masturbate and now 30 days clean.

    The primary lifestyle change that pushed me towards being clean was an internship I did where I was learning and simultaneously developing apps for a company. Being productive leaves no reason why you should think of masturbation. You can volunteer in your church or local community center and be engaging your time in productive activities.

    Also I have been practicing mindfulness. Below is the specific practice.

    *The Mindfulness Practice*

    "Count your breath"

    The practice of mindfulness is simple but it will take time to reach a state of lasting meditation. The time and place of practice will vastly affect the results. As a beginner, it is possible that you may not reach the state of meditation early on. *Due patience and consistency is to be maintained.*

    As you count your breath, there will come a thought that sweeps you away and you will lose count.

    You are to be curious to find out these thoughts. These are the ones carry enough power to force themselves on you. Once you identify these, you can use the power of *insights* to change them.

    I have found that there will be a period of *restlessness and disinterest* before reaching the state of lasting meditation. So that is a sign for you that the end is near.

    Keeping your eyes open and listening to music makes it easier to count.

    *The practice bears more fruit when you are alone.* If you are in a room with other people, you may consider waking up before they do.

    Doing this practice while laying in bed at night will invite sleep better and will also prepare you for the next day's practice.

    *Set aside enough time for the practice.* Sometimes you reach the state of meditation and you run out of time to enjoy the fruits of your practice.

    Everyone of us have defects some which we know of and some which we don't . These bother us immensely consciously or unconsciously. *To recognize and accept that you do have a defect is the first part of change.* Kindness and compassion heal defects. Through this practice, you can take care of the defects you know of and find the unknown ones.

    After the morning practice if you feel anger during the day, breathe mindfully and then address your anger with kindness and compassion. It will put out the fire of anger. It will save you from getting burnt. For example when you get angry, tell the anger-" Hello anger, I see you have manifested yourself. Welcome, I will take good care of you" *Treat anger as a guest and not your significant other and it will leave gracefully.*


    I have been listening to the lectures of the Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh.

    The combined affect of all these is a structure to my life where I eat right, sleep at the right time, wash clothes on time and study and so on.

    Previously all this was not there. If you work towards fixing your life, you will not think of escaping life via PMO.
     
    Kiz Whalifa and SirErnest like this.
  2. Amar_Avinash

    Amar_Avinash Fapstronaut

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    Also my earlier streak of 60+ days failed as I unconsciously neglected my life.
     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  3. Amar_Avinash

    Amar_Avinash Fapstronaut

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    Introduction to Mindfulness

    20th of this month, 2 years ago, Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, a famous rock band had committed suicide leaving fans shocked and devastated.

    Linkin Park's songs held a special meaning for every listener including myself. In general, Linkin Park's songs were felt by fans to be an honest expression of rage against the harshness of the world.

    His death though made it impossible to unsee the fact that all his rage was upon himself and his work had basically been a prolonged suicide note.

    Now, with this insight, fans were aghast about not going deeper into his songs earlier. If done, it was possible that Chester got all the help and love he needed, at least from his fans.

    Mindfulness is all about going deeper and giving more love and attention to yourself. Trying to understand how your thoughts work and the non obvious reasons behind their origin. Understanding the reasons behind the perceived emptiness humans feel.

    All this will reduce the need to consume. Consume from the Internet, other humans' energies, materials, food, etc. Then we can give more to those who need it more and giving is a major part of being human. Mindfulness helps us in being better at being human and improving the human experience.
     
    stoneyman22 and Kiz Whalifa like this.
  4. Amar_Avinash

    Amar_Avinash Fapstronaut

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    Man and Nature

    As I sat relishing the cool air with the smell of freshly wet mud, my nerves soothed and my mind was at peace quietly taking in this beautiful experience that nature bestowed upon us in the aftermath of the evening rain. After some harsh weather, finally nature was being kind and I felt within myself a warm sense of gratitude.

    We often forget the immense effect of nature on ourselves. If we are going against the laws of nature such as being irregular with sleep or food consumption, our mind can get into a state of ill being. Even the lack of order in our living space can upset the mind. Tidying up your environment can then be a baby step towards well being.

    Similarly, other things out of our control such as uncomfortable weather conditions can also affect us negatively but then lets not compound it by being lax with the factors in our control.

    But then in those rare moments when the weather turns favourable, be mindful and take in the experience.

     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  5. Amar_Avinash

    Amar_Avinash Fapstronaut

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  6. Amar_Avinash

    Amar_Avinash Fapstronaut

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    On the shortness of life

    "Short" is a relative term and when it comes to your life, you don't know if it was short until the moment you lose it.

    It is quite apt to be conscious of that and apply this insight when it comes to frugal worries. Ask yourself if all these human worries matter when your breath itself is coming to an end.

    Practise mindful breathing with this insight.

    With every breath you intake, you feel happy you are alive and with every out breath you feel the worries leaving out along with it.

    A successful practice will yield the fruit of happiness of being in the moment.

     
    SirErnest likes this.

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