30 days deep...ain't turning back now!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Deleted Account, Jun 5, 2019.

  1. First 30 days free in almost a 1 1/2
    Guys I was so confident that I was gonna make it through this I actually wrote this on day 22.facts!

    A little back round on my addiction
    Porn for me was an escape from my reality it helped me cope with things I didn't accept in my life. Also help with stress.
    But as with many of us " escalation" soon took hold I went from vanilla stuff to become addicted to transgendered person , transwoman , crossdressing and gay porn. To the point I would wear my gf pants and PMO
    Even going as far as have encounters with other men and transwomen...guys this addiction took my soul.

    But NOW I can say I'm free because I see now that I cant live with this anymore.
    90 days is just the start I dont plan on ever useing PMO for my selfish, sick and porn induced Fantasy of escape anymore.
    I'm at the point where I dont even blame porn anymore. Anything done multiple times is no longer a mistake it's a choice. And I for as long as I live will make those choice to not go back down this path again....now on to my review

    These 30days were actually the hardest.
    All the small things about my life i was hiding and running from I how face head on.
    My GF my daughter those two kept me alive emotionally.
    Their love helped me get through this little do they know. My GF dose know about my addiction and how much it took me over . Shes know how much I used to use it and was very understanding , as she has a lot of guy friends who have unfortunately gone through the same path. I knew I had to change before everything came crashing down.
    During these past 30day I had Epiphany after epiphany about my life and where I am today is perfect. Sounds crazy right?!
    But it is based on what I put myself through I take full responsibility for my actions and can say porn is in my past.
    Yes I had urges.
    Yes in had flatline
    Yes I was emotionally sad and felt weak
    But I knew feeling all these real human emotions were better then running back to PMO.
    One of my tricks to getting this far was to actually read people relapse entries on this sight.
    They would all talk about how horrible they felt and how much they hated themself for going back , some of them could only last 1 to 10 days.
    That motivated. enough to not go back...not go back to that dreadful feeling of self hate , pain and regret .
    Thankfully I never suffered from PIED .
    My GF is beautiful and amazing, my daughter is my soul.
    Building my business is my ambition.
    PMO was my dragon to slay...I killed it.
    GUYS we can all change we can all get out of this addiction. It was a mentality that brought us down and we must build a NEW mentality to bring us out.
    Education is also key. Educate yourself on the brain and how addiction effects it. understood terms like . "Dopamine " "chaser effect" withdrawal symptoms are a key factor in reading your progress.
    Read up on other people sucess stories.
    And make friends on this site. I wanna thank you all who I have reached out to who have helped me through this time of my life. Thank you to the website for haveing a safe place for use to build with people who struggle with the same thing.
    Change your mind and watch your life change.

    I would like to add one other thing I did struggle with as well procrastinating has been killing me their are nights when I know I should be working on .y business and building it but I dont seem to have the full motivation. I love what I'm building but at the same time the emptiness of not having what unusual have to help me cope with the reality of my life I think it was adding to my sadness. So on nights alone where I would usually PMO I find myself just sitting their not doing anything watching TV or listening to music. MUSUC has helped me so much the past 30day it's crazy. Also in have been a lot more soical lately I love going out more and more I'm confident great energy and I love talking to beautiful girls aan NOT thinking sexual things about them. Funny thing is they are more attractive to me then I am to them I feel like they can feel my energy and confidence.
    My goals for the next 60 days is no more protection. My goals are as follows

    1.get back to building my business
    2.write down my personal, and Financial goals.
    3. Plan more soical events for friends and family for the summer .
    4.spend less time paying attention to my day counter (I feel like I was doing that a lot that past 30days)
    5.contine posting here and connecting with other people on the site.
    Thanks for reading guys
  2. Congratulations! Any physical/mental/emotional positives so far?
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Yes plenty my energy level is way up , testosterone levels are in the sky my penis feels brand new.
    Mentally I'm more focused confident woman seem to attract to me even more now. Eye contact us not even a question . My vice deeper . Decisions clear. My ability to think act and say what us on my mind is dope. And my girl is all over
  4. Well I think I should continue with this nofap stuff! Good to hear man.
  5. This is a fantastic journal.
    Hows the procrastinating ??

    How do you plan to grow your business ?
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Honestly that k you so much for the question.
    I'm ready I'm back to listening to my motivational videos and I'm making my goals and start crushing them.
    Please keep challenging me and asking me questions
    need4realchg likes this.
  7. Lol. Well what is your target sales goal for 2019?

    How did you do for the first 6 months?

    Are you tracking at expectations or below or above?
  8. I'm am now in the works of getting my product and then will focuse on sale projections. And move up from their
    Great question my friend
  9. Good man. I think this community is perfect for holding us accountable.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. glide

    glide Fapstronaut

    Sooo hard. Made it past 30 days hard mode. That was the easy part. Decided to start having sex again but no porn or masterbation. Problem is, I'm constantly horny, always hard. When I flirt with girl but no sex happen, I come home desperate to masturbate - force myself not to. Need help so bad. If it keep happening might have to go see prostitute. Really don't want to because I don't want to start a problematic sexual behavior. Need help and motivation to be patient till one of these girls give me pussy. Wanna say no to prostitute
    Deleted Account and need4realchg like this.
  11. glide

    glide Fapstronaut

    Help. Panic panic. No porn please
    need4realchg likes this.
  12. parad0x

    parad0x Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the post it read almost exactly like my situation. Escalated to all that filth and acted out before finding nofap. It's been one hell of a rollercoaster this last few weeks, but like you I only intend to reboot once. The people the fail over and over I really feel sorry for them, seems like failure breeds more failure. So I'm determined to get this right the first time.

    Keep up the good work.
  13. glide

    glide Fapstronaut

    Thanks so much. Glad to know I'm not alone. Let's be patient and get our lives in order
  14. Hey glide , what are you feeling ? Why do you want to fap?
  15. Yes it is I appreciate it DM me sometime and we can continue pushing each other
    need4realchg likes this.
  16. My friend you need to enjoy your horniness insted of reacting to it. Its completely normal to feel honey and hard but you can and must make the choice to control it. I'm proud of you for going 30days already keep it up it's not worth it beating off your life is wayyyy more then that
  17. 18 days in great job my friend keep it up. And ya I have definitely done something that are completely not me that's why I will not be going back...I dont care I'm just to calm and focused right now
    need4realchg likes this.
  18. that's awesome, congrats!!
    thanks for the push i really needed it
    Deleted Account likes this.
  19. Fuséé

    Fuséé Fapstronaut

    Hello I have a question
    How to forgot All this shit i look at transwoman porn 2 times in my life and it disturb me i can't forgot it and return to my old life ? do you have a solution to forgot and being me

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