30 days feedback - Are women toxic (dopamine) for myself?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Nico56799, Jun 29, 2020.

  1. Nico56799

    Nico56799 Fapstronaut

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    Hi team,

    I used to be a HEAVY "edger" and I am on the recovery process. During the quarantine, I successfully made a 30 days challenge (no PMO, no Instagram, no girls, nothing).

    Abstaining 30 days is beautiful. My anxiety decreased significantly, I slept much better, I felt more aware of myself and the surroundings, I improved my work quality, my connection with other human beings was healthier and I felt very proud of me for accomplishing this challenge. Interestingly, I also realized I was extremely stressed (not anxious) during this period but given that I used M to usually release my stress, it was logic that I felt more stressed than before while abstaining. In sum, the 30-day challenge was extremely beneficial for me.

    However...

    During my challenge, I had consciously chosen a day to masturbate (I did not want to fail to an urge) because I was okay with myself to start again after Day 30. I did it. I edged for a few hours and then O. It was not that good and a few hours after or the next day, I felt less energetic, more anxious, etc. Now, I PMO once a week (instead of everyday) and I still feel literally bad a few moment after.

    Most importantly, A few weeks after the challenge, I had sex with a girl. It was so powerful and emotional, I felt so great after sex and before sleep. However, the next day, ruminations and anxiety kicked in again (as if I had masturbated...).

    Questions: If healthy sex is leading me to experience negative emotions (social anxiety, fear...), how can you enjoy relationships? If you know that sex will diminish you after... Should I ban girls from my life definitively? Are they just dopamine flooding and stimulating my brain, like P, video games or other drugs? Are women toxic or an obstacle for my self-improvement?

    Thank you for your answers on this.

    Nico
     
  2. jn75

    jn75 Fapstronaut

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    Find a wife would be my advice. That’ll free you from any guilt.
     
    Liam_here likes this.
  3. vril

    vril Fapstronaut

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    I have had that experience as well. I found that it wasn't women, it was me. I was perceiving women the same way I perceived video games, porn, and other stuff: as objects that exist to please me. That's why I felt that same shame and emptiness with a woman that I did with porn.

    Instead of focusing on self-improvement, I decided to focus on self-renunciation. I realized that as long as I am being led by sense objects to give me pleasure, I am a slave to those objects for my happiness. It is a very miserable way to go through life and is particularly treacherous when it comes to relating to women. It is better to live for something or someone greater than myself.
     
    Shg and ZeroChill like this.
  4. ZeroChill

    ZeroChill Fapstronaut

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    Maybe u should reboot longer. Initially my goal in doing nofap is so that i can have sex with woman because of PIED. After 80days of reboot, everything has changed entirely. My end goal in doing nofap is to have total control over myself and self improvement.
    Everyday i felt free and slightly jacked by adrenaline. (Might be due to nofap and semen retention effect)
    If u asked the current me to have sex with a random person i would refuse because i would not trade my freedom and self control for some short happiness followed by lethargy(maybe).
    Personally i think sex should be avoided/limited be it single or married during the initial stage of reboot.
    We have wasted so much time due to pmo and now we are chasing something closely related to it, it might not be the best choice.
     
    vril likes this.

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