Kman20
Fapstronaut
I've made it to 30 days today! But honestly it's felt like it's been a lot longer than just a month for me. I had a pretty bad relapse last time and it really got me working on this reboot in the right way. Each relapse really does teach you something and so I wouldn't say that it was all just a waste when I make a mistake. But that's not to say it's okay to relapse, obviously. Anyways this whole month has been crazy for me. I've been meditating daily, taking cold showers daily, and have just been focusing on myself overall. I started going to counseling a few weeks ago because thanks to my reboot I've realized I've actually got some deeeep emotional and self esteem issues that I've got to work out. The counseling has been going great and it really feels like I'm getting so much better each day. Some nights I just realize how great I'm doing with everything and the thought of relapsing scares the hell out of me because I'm just doing so well with my life right now. But I let those fears and my urges just pass. I wanted to give some advice that I've learned from some of the mistakes I've made in the past. Hopefully you'll stick around to hear them out because each of these have been my downfall in my past nofap attempts.
FIRST OF ALL and it might come to be obvious to most of you but do NOT fantasize. You're setting yourself up for failure by fueling your cravings. I understand your mind is bored, it doesn't have that same stimulation you get anymore from watching porn on a screen so it imagines it in your head instead. But that's just the thing, you're keeping your cravings for porn alive in your head by doing this. You think an alcoholic that is trying to quit drinking will be able to if all he thinks about is drinking??? Hell no, occupy your mind with something else guys.
Speaking of minds I really encourage people rebooting to also try integrating meditation into their schedules. First thing in the morning if you can just to set the tone for your day. A BIG BIG thing with me is that I practically have been LIVING in my head, probably since I was a kid. Maybe it's my way of coping with my unsatisfying reality but I've learned that I really need to cut that out so I can work on making my reality a good one. So I've been doing mindful meditation everyday and intent to keep meditating not just for my reboot. Mindful mediation is useful because it teaches us to disconnect from some of our automatic thoughts. Just observing them instead of identifying ourselves with all of them. We aren't always what we think or feel guys trust me. This is great great great for anxiety and also great for fantasizers. For example if a porn image comes up you can just accept it for what it is and let this thought pass, instead of dwelling on it. It's about bringing you into the now and gaining back your self control.
Another thing I want to adress is the whole "getting a girlfriend" thing with rebooting. If you are doing this to get a girlfriend that's perfectly fine and awesome. But I've learned that we should really be focusing on ourselves, not just during our reboot but even after that. Instead of desperately searching for a girl, for whatever reason, be it loneliness, depression, sex, we should just be focusing on making ourselves happy instead. There isn't anyone out there that can make you feel whole or happy. As corny as this may sound happiness is within us all already. We don't have any voids that we need a girl to fill we can fill that ourselves. So instead of desperetely searching for a girlfriend, I encourage you guys to work on yourselves, your life, and do the things that you like to do fun. You'll meet the right girl if you be the right person. You don't have to take my advice on this, it's just what I believe. If you want to search for a girlfriend still, go right ahead my nofap brothers, I'll root for you.
Be aware if you are replacing the porn with some other type of stimulatant.
I don't know about you guys but this whole thing, the porn addiction and maybe all addictions I think, what it really all comes down to is ...(ready)...AN ESCAPE FROM REALITY. If you're rebooting don't forget that..YOU'RE REBOOTING. Don't spend hours mindlessly browsing on the internet during your reboot. Or hours playing video games. One time I spent nearly 8 hours straight playing a video game and it felt like I had relapsed when I woke up the next morning. Don't get me wrong it's perfectly fine to play games and go on the internet for fun. But do it in moderation and ask yourself why you're doing it. Am I bored? Could I be doing something more productive? Am I using it to replace the porn? You're brain is still yearning for some easy stimulation and the internet and video games are just that. Try to find some natural rewards if you can. Something you would need to put actual effort in to have fun. Play some sports, learn an instrument (I've been practicing piano everyday for the past month by the way and it's been so much fun ^^) go hangout with some friends if you can. Just try not to be sedentary guys, it's basically the same behavior, just not as stimulating and you aren't busting nuts all over the place while you do it.
Just to recap
-Don't lounge around in the mornings, get up and do things you need to be doing(added this one in)
-Don't fantasize, if you happen to just don't dwell on it, I know these images will inevitably come up for us
-Meditate for at least 10 minutes a day
- Cold showers
- Don't focus on a girlfriend so much, focus on making yourself happy and getting your life together. If you happen to meet a girl along the way though, go for it
- Don't replace porn with some other artificial stimulant
All of these things have been the end of me in several of my past reboots. Been trying for two years now and I've learned so damn much since. I did near 100 days before but I've made more progress with myself and my mind in these last 30 days than those 100, thanks to all the things I've learned. Please try to take my advice, they are pretty general but I just wanted to help in some way and share what I've learned. Anyways sorry for the long post, I've kind of been waiting to write this Lol as you could probably tell by now if you're still reading this. Thanks, my nofap brothers, hopefully I helped in some way with this post and I hope we're all be able to fight through this disgusting addiction and learn to live our lives the right way from now on! Peaceee !
(Quick add on, I don't know why but whenever urges came to me, thinking of this video helped me fight them LOL. It's a scene from DBZ where Vegeta is fighting internally and I just think of it and it helps me Lmao maybe it'll help you guys too xP. Imagine you're Vegeta fighting your urges. This is nerdy as hell but WHATEVER just watch it trust me it'll help you xD)
FIRST OF ALL and it might come to be obvious to most of you but do NOT fantasize. You're setting yourself up for failure by fueling your cravings. I understand your mind is bored, it doesn't have that same stimulation you get anymore from watching porn on a screen so it imagines it in your head instead. But that's just the thing, you're keeping your cravings for porn alive in your head by doing this. You think an alcoholic that is trying to quit drinking will be able to if all he thinks about is drinking??? Hell no, occupy your mind with something else guys.
Speaking of minds I really encourage people rebooting to also try integrating meditation into their schedules. First thing in the morning if you can just to set the tone for your day. A BIG BIG thing with me is that I practically have been LIVING in my head, probably since I was a kid. Maybe it's my way of coping with my unsatisfying reality but I've learned that I really need to cut that out so I can work on making my reality a good one. So I've been doing mindful meditation everyday and intent to keep meditating not just for my reboot. Mindful mediation is useful because it teaches us to disconnect from some of our automatic thoughts. Just observing them instead of identifying ourselves with all of them. We aren't always what we think or feel guys trust me. This is great great great for anxiety and also great for fantasizers. For example if a porn image comes up you can just accept it for what it is and let this thought pass, instead of dwelling on it. It's about bringing you into the now and gaining back your self control.
Another thing I want to adress is the whole "getting a girlfriend" thing with rebooting. If you are doing this to get a girlfriend that's perfectly fine and awesome. But I've learned that we should really be focusing on ourselves, not just during our reboot but even after that. Instead of desperately searching for a girl, for whatever reason, be it loneliness, depression, sex, we should just be focusing on making ourselves happy instead. There isn't anyone out there that can make you feel whole or happy. As corny as this may sound happiness is within us all already. We don't have any voids that we need a girl to fill we can fill that ourselves. So instead of desperetely searching for a girlfriend, I encourage you guys to work on yourselves, your life, and do the things that you like to do fun. You'll meet the right girl if you be the right person. You don't have to take my advice on this, it's just what I believe. If you want to search for a girlfriend still, go right ahead my nofap brothers, I'll root for you.
Be aware if you are replacing the porn with some other type of stimulatant.
I don't know about you guys but this whole thing, the porn addiction and maybe all addictions I think, what it really all comes down to is ...(ready)...AN ESCAPE FROM REALITY. If you're rebooting don't forget that..YOU'RE REBOOTING. Don't spend hours mindlessly browsing on the internet during your reboot. Or hours playing video games. One time I spent nearly 8 hours straight playing a video game and it felt like I had relapsed when I woke up the next morning. Don't get me wrong it's perfectly fine to play games and go on the internet for fun. But do it in moderation and ask yourself why you're doing it. Am I bored? Could I be doing something more productive? Am I using it to replace the porn? You're brain is still yearning for some easy stimulation and the internet and video games are just that. Try to find some natural rewards if you can. Something you would need to put actual effort in to have fun. Play some sports, learn an instrument (I've been practicing piano everyday for the past month by the way and it's been so much fun ^^) go hangout with some friends if you can. Just try not to be sedentary guys, it's basically the same behavior, just not as stimulating and you aren't busting nuts all over the place while you do it.
Just to recap
-Don't lounge around in the mornings, get up and do things you need to be doing(added this one in)
-Don't fantasize, if you happen to just don't dwell on it, I know these images will inevitably come up for us
-Meditate for at least 10 minutes a day
- Cold showers
- Don't focus on a girlfriend so much, focus on making yourself happy and getting your life together. If you happen to meet a girl along the way though, go for it
- Don't replace porn with some other artificial stimulant
All of these things have been the end of me in several of my past reboots. Been trying for two years now and I've learned so damn much since. I did near 100 days before but I've made more progress with myself and my mind in these last 30 days than those 100, thanks to all the things I've learned. Please try to take my advice, they are pretty general but I just wanted to help in some way and share what I've learned. Anyways sorry for the long post, I've kind of been waiting to write this Lol as you could probably tell by now if you're still reading this. Thanks, my nofap brothers, hopefully I helped in some way with this post and I hope we're all be able to fight through this disgusting addiction and learn to live our lives the right way from now on! Peaceee !
(Quick add on, I don't know why but whenever urges came to me, thinking of this video helped me fight them LOL. It's a scene from DBZ where Vegeta is fighting internally and I just think of it and it helps me Lmao maybe it'll help you guys too xP. Imagine you're Vegeta fighting your urges. This is nerdy as hell but WHATEVER just watch it trust me it'll help you xD)
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