30 Days for the 4th Time

So let me begin my story here, I started fapping when I was in sixth or seventh grade and it completely messed up my sex life. I could have gotten with so many girls in the coming years but I was nonstop fapping like how any kid discovers it, I became shy and more reserved with women, up to the point where I ignored them most of the time because I objectified them. Although I had the attention of a lot girls, I didn't really have an sexual experiences so this caused me to envelop further into this pit trap. By high school, I was fapping 3-6 times a day, which led me to rough sexual foreplay videos like for example BDSM which honestly looking back at it demasculinized me. At the peak of freshmen year, I was a social reject of my school but at that point, hitting rock bottom, I discovered NOFAP sometime end of freshman year. So I was like fuck it, I'm not going to fap for a week. But little did I know how badly I was attached to this habit. I realized I couldn't go three days without fapping at one point in my life. I literally had records on a calendar of me not being able to be successful at NOFAP. But with trial and error, I finally got to one week, then I discovered smoking which led me back into my habits and consumed me sophomore year of high school. All the while I was continuously trying to do NoFap but for a year the best I could do was on the off chance I got a 9 or 10 day streak. But eventually everything led back to porn. One thing that stuck with me was when I discovered how controlled I was by porn and my own dick. I was a slave to it and from that day original three day streak failure, I persevered with my NoFap Journey. Until I got to my junior year when Covid happened, I was still jerking off but reaching new streaks up to 2 or 3 weeks which was crazy for me. This was all thanks to my new circle of friends I made throughout quarantine. But I really didn't glow up until the start of my senior year where in September I finally achieved my first thirty days all because of the gym and self improvement. I learned counting the days doesn't help in the NoFap Journey if anything it causes you to fail even more because your counting the seconds. And at this point I finally installed porn blockers on my computer which was a game changer and eventually by January. I finally had a girl at least for a little bit. During this time with this girl I was on an emotional rollercoaster with my first ninety day streak because I had another outlet. But then I didn't have much experience I got dumped but because of this experience I understood game, what I did wrong and what mistakes never to make again with women. After I got dumped, I got into fapping again, I was in a dark place for a little while but I decided to get back on the horse and start self-improvement, so I kept on in the gym, upgraded my style, and had a blast in the summer with my new friends. This led me to my second ninety day streak which improved me mentally and physically, feeling I matured as a human being. But then college happened, I moved far away and being alone got to me even though I tried so hard to work on self improvement but eventually caved in since I didn't have a great circle of friends anymore. I was in a new environment and then came the next two shittiest months. I was alone, fapping, got into a car crash, didn't tell anyone about it, not going to the gym, and studying. I was bored out of mind with brain fog and dealing with porn. I eventually decided to get back to the gym again and that's where I am today, thirty days on NOFAP almost did it today but decided to pour my success story on this post. I realized at this moment when I'm typing out this journey, how badly I sucked at relationships. So going foward I'm going to learn in whatever means necessary to cultivate better relationships and fix old ones. It's something I need to work on and fixing my accent which I'll be doing in this streak my goal is to hit one year and become an absolute beast. Thought I'd spill my journey here, hopefully one of you resonates with it, but the best advice to quitting this addiction is to have a system that keeps you from doing this habit: porn blockers, keeping busy, self-improvement, long term gratification methods, and dr trish leigh. 30 days and going strong keep moving astronauts.