30 Days of Success

I made it to 30 days! I look at that number and I can hardly believe it. I've been stuck for so long using PMO as an escape and a solution to deal with anything life throws at me, I never thought there was an alternative. I've received so much support from people on this forum and through reading and posting that I owe so much to NoFap for my success. I have also gained valuable insight that I would like to share.

I have mixed feelings about my journey thus far, but the one thing I've learned which I believe is critical in my recovery is how I view things. This is so much more than a glass half empty vs half full mindset, although that is part of it. I believe it's about living a life of recovery vs. a life of addiction. A life of addiction is one that is stuck in endless cycles of relapsing, guilt, promises, and relapsing again. It's not taking any steps towards a goal. It's about inactivity and at the same time confusion about why something isn't working, why this addiction can't be kicked, or why failure is the norm. Most importantly, it's about no self-reflection and not eliminating or changing the things in our lives that cause us to fail. Contrast this with a life of recovery.

A life of recovery is a mindset that is focused on recovery. It is about taking steps, no matter how small, towards a goal rather than allowing apathy and laziness to keep us stagnant and even knock us backwards. It's about taking charge of our addiction, understanding it, and educating ourselves on what is driving it. With each new piece of information we gain, we use that to aid in recovery. We eliminate triggers, we take steps to manage our emotions, and we avoid scenarios that set us up for failure. The most important aspect of living a life of recovery is understanding the simple truth that Rome wasn't built in a day. We aren't building an empire. What we are building is our lives. Lives anchored to foundations of integrity and character. It doesn't happen in a day, and there will be setbacks, but we can't allow setbacks to define us. Rather we will use setbacks to educate ourselves and further build up defenses.

I am not living a life of recovery yet. These past 30 days I have had many setbacks that I was barely able to overcome. I am still engaging in bad habits that threaten my current reboot of 90 days. I have made gains, which is why this is a post about success, but my gains have only illuminated how far I still need to go. The difference now vs. 30 days ago is I have hope. I now believe this is possible. I started a 90 day reboot knowing I was going to fail as I have always failed, but I didn't. My focus over the next 30 days is to start living a life of recovery, and I will do what I can to help others on their journeys.

 

@zathura Great post! I am so glad to see you making it so far. You see, it actually take some effort to count from 1 to 30. Counting allows me to see how far I've come.
I like your attitude, when you are living in a "recovery mindset" even a relapse cannot hurt you. But when you are living to count your day's you are only abstaining, sooner or later life will throw some shit at you won't be able to deal with it without porn.

Congratulations! See you in 30 days with a new report

 

Thanks @Oneness. I do feel more alive and vibrant, but I don't think it's because of any physical changes. I believe it's from my mental outlook. 30 days ago I was a failure at life because of my porn addiction, and I had no hope. Today I have hope, and I no longer can believe I'm a failure. As I stated, I'm not recovered by any means, but knowing I'm on the right path is better for me than any superpower I can read about.