30 days, still feel like a roach in a wall crack

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by LilD, Jan 17, 2018.

  1. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    Day 30. It's my first streak since I started NoFap.

    My goals:
    • Abstaining from porn completely, and any erotic content as much as possible
    • Abstaining from sexual fantasies completely, because at the moment all my fantasies are porn-induced
    • Abstaining from masturbation, at least for now, because I have no way of achieving an erection without using either porn, erotica, or my porn-induced fantasies. I am not against masturbation, but I can't do it in a healthy way
    • Developing a realistic image of women and sex
    • Eventually, I want to find a girlfriend and lose my virginity
    What I do:
    • Constantly stopping my sexual thoughts
    • Deleted all the porn from my computer, including links/bookmarks. This also includes a lot of anime with "fanservice"
    • On social media, unsubscribed from all channels/groups promoting pornographic or erotic content
    • Exercising every day, eating more (I was underweight), sleeping on a schedule (a very soft one)
    • I come here often, to tell about my progress, my feelings, and to ask an advice
    • Also, I'm a member of a 12-step community specializing in a different problem, so I also attend the community meetings, I have a sponsor and even some steps done
    What I expected:
    • PIED cured
    • My sexual delusions gone
    • Maybe, it could help with my depression and social anxiety, but I don't expect much here
    What I got:
    1. PIED cured, judging by mornings
    2. I feel more energized. Not super energized, but before my energy was ever deficient, so now I just feel okay
    3. I've become motivated enough to ask a girl out, but she refused
    4. Judging by the previous points, my depression and anxiety are a bit better

    Yet, today I feel like shit. I don't believe in any kind of gods, but if I did, I'd ask them to stomp me to death, for I am a worm. That's because there is one guy I really hate, and today he told something really bad about the girl I like (the one I asked out). She was on the edge of crying, he was full of himself because he happened to be right this time, technically. I did nothing, just sat there like an angry chicken. I think she was right rejecting me.

    I have no idea what to do next. Unwiring my brain from porn is only a half of the job, and the rest would be trying to make some kind of relationship going. Out of all women I know at the moment, I like 2, including the aforementioned lady, and the other one is hell knows where and not coming back. So I guess I will have to go on some dates with random women in a hope I will like someone eventually, and she will reciprocate.

    I am not prepared for relationships, but I found out I will never be prepared anyway, unless I try, fail, and become prepared. It's like with ninjas, you cannot be prepared for them coming.

    I want to try it anyway, I've seen all my old shit along and across.
  2. Drxdre

    Drxdre Fapstronaut

    Well first of all, massive congrats for 30days of no pmo!!! Thats incredible and something i would be soooooo happy with if I get there Day9 here of the first streak in like... ever!

    Exercising every day - awesome!

    Keep your head up and know ur own worth! she said no, so what! Hopefully all the free time and extra energy ur getting from no pmo can be put to good use! Try and do social things maybe join a new club/hobby if u havent (mixed obvs). The more u carry urself around the world in a confident manner, the easier it will be to talk to girls. And hey, its ok not to be ok! All guys get nervous haha if they truly like someone! All it shows is that you care!
    Little kitty likes this.
  3. topjobm8two

    topjobm8two Fapstronaut

    30 days - so rad. I was going to try do that and I failed. But you didn't because you are a strong, capable, and worthy human. There are heaps of girls for you to get to know. girls are awesome, they are funny, make some female friends. Enjoy the ride. Soon, girls will notice how confident you are and these jerks will be addicted to PMO. This change will take time, you are doing great - make it to 90 days, you know you can.
  4. Congratulations on making it to 30 days and I give you the best wishes with your life's struggles.
  5. gooutside

    gooutside Fapstronaut

    LilD, sounds like you're doing really well. I would just recommend that while you are doing hard mode, you go easy on yourself in other ways. It's probably not realistic to expect a constant good mood just because you've been able to stay away from PMO. Although being PMO free can significantly decrease anxiety and depression, it doesn't give you a guarantee of happiness forever (I'm not sure anything does).

    In terms of meeting someone, I think the hard truth is it often takes a bit of time to find someone you connect with. It's a bit of a cliche, but you just have to try and focus on being the healthiest person you can be. You also have to actually meet people, so staying socially active is important too. Anyway, great job on how you're going!
    sev94 likes this.
  6. NewLifeForGood86

    NewLifeForGood86 Fapstronaut

    Hey LilD!
    First of all congratulations on your one month! That’s awesome!
    But remember although 1 month is a strong start, it is far from where we usually see the full benefits of reboot. Keep going! It will be worth it. Depressive thoughts and pmo thoughts WILL attack you, but gradually they will become weaker. So stay optimistic and strong!

    I recommend going for a 90 day hard mode, where you just forget about girls and focus on freeing your brain from PMO and building yourself as a person. Keep up the exercise, and also study, work, meditate/pray, work on your hobbies. Do all of these things regularly and try to always be positive. In other words FOCUS MORE ON YOUR SELF THAN on GIRLS. Once you have build up Yourself, you will be in a better position for a suitable relationship. And there will be plenty of them in the future. Therefore I don’t recommend making it your goal to loose your virginity. It will come naturally. Instead try to make the nofap lifestyle and building up YOURSELF as a person a goal in it self. If you work on yourself you will open up possibilities in other areas of your life too. And that will make you more successful and happier.

    Good luck bro!
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2018
    Tousa94 and Son of Midgaard like this.
  7. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

    Sounds like good, healthy advice to me!

    It is understandable to wan't and feel desire for a girl but still you have to realize that it will take time not only for your body and mind to detox but also for you to change your habitual behavioural pattern. The second part is probably best to be viewed as a lifelong project and will probably as you sa be a matter of trial and error. I find the most difficult part to find someone who share your values, lifestyle and heart. I keep getting one or at best two out of three. Maybe one day I will hit jackpot.
    NewLifeForGood86 likes this.
  8. Anurag12

    Anurag12 Fapstronaut

    Congrats Buddy!! That's is what Nofap is all to feel your self again, to gain back control of your mind, girls are not everything in life you got to look beyond girls/Womens, After this Nofap I have developed a attitude of giving no shit to girls and women and guess two girls offered me for sex as well, they both were virgin, so now you should look at your own self. Girls are not so important in life. Life is very beautiful and eventually some girls will start approaching you because you have stopped running behind girls. When you run behind something you won't get but if u stop then u will get many.
    So don't bother this and carry on this NOFAP because its your life which needs to be better not that girl's life. You will see many benefits of this nofap.
    All d best bro.
    Tousa94 and Son of Midgaard like this.
  9. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

    Fine, but I do not see the significance of that two virgins offered you "for sex"...Did you turn them down or what was the point.
  10. Anurag12

    Anurag12 Fapstronaut

    Point was you will never heal your brain if your life revolves around woman, I denied both the girls to have sex because they don't love me and it was all about one night stand that's what I have changed in me, Now I only love myself and going to love the girl who loves me as well.
    Sex is also a addiction if you do it regularly basis or with random woman or girl.
    My advice to you is become a man first and develop some self respect, take out time for your own self. Develop your self and one this will make you smart amd attractive and then you never know some girl approach you some day.
    All d best.
    NewLifeForGood86 likes this.
  11. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

    I was not looking for advice unless you are talking about the thread starter himself.
  12. Anurag12

    Anurag12 Fapstronaut

    Whatever I told you is the best of my experience, you seem to be desperate about womens/girls. Go and read the purpose of NoFap. It says "get a new grip on life" not any woman's life.
    All d best
  13. ImASinnerWhoJesusSaved

    ImASinnerWhoJesusSaved Fapstronaut

    Ey, I'm at 32 days and I'm not too worried about relationships. Don't expect to find love immediately. I'm not saying you shouldn't look for it, but don't make it the most important thing.
    Tousa94 likes this.
  14. Aahan

    Aahan Fapstronaut

    Just a suggestion; you could try replacing the bad habits with good ones. It's a lot harder if you're doing this alone and without other sources of happiness. As for the guy, he sounds like a douchebag. Acknowledge his comments and let them pass, he doesn't seem to worth it. Really happy for the streak! Good going.
    Some examples of the aforementioned habits include meditation, cold showers, and reading, etc.

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