30 days story + Why am I never going back

Sorry, but this is going to be a bit long. You can skip my intro, if you want.

Intro:

First, a bit about myself: I’m a religious, Jewish Israeli, currently a fifth-year in a National-Religious Yeshiva [Religious-studies college (BTW, if anyone’s wondering what that actually means, there are hundreds of yeshivas in Israel and around the world. Guys come there for spiritual growth. Some guys eventually go on to Rabbinical studies or get a degree in education, but you don’t necessarily have to. Mostly, we just sit and learn all day (Jewish literature is vast and deep), everything from Talmud to laws to faith to Bible (obviously, just the old testament).)]

A few months ago I finished my year & 5 months' term in the IDF. Started out as a combat soldier, after about half of my term I moved to a different, non-combat position in the same division, and about a month before the end, I moved to a completely different non-combat position in a completely different unit. A fascinating time, but very hard. I’ve come to realize that at least part of those hardships were self-inflicted because of my PMO-addiction. Never PMOed in the army, but always PMOed at home, whenever I got the chance. I was under almost constant pressure for a very long time, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

In the past, I’ve tried several times to reboot, but never managed longer than three weeks. I’ve sought out help from sites directed towards Israelis, but always felt the tools they offered were too vague and bland. A month ago I once again saw the name of this site, after having seen it in the past, but never trying it out. This time, however, I’ve found that it has helped tremendously. So thank you.

Thirty days:

Thirty days, and I’m amazed with myself. Not because my life just magically took a 180 degrees turn (it didn’t, more on that later), but because for the first time in my life I’ve actually managed an entire month of no PMO. And with that, I’ll pat myself on the back. That’s essentially the success part of my first 30 days.

As for my life? Well, not that much has changed. Still find myself getting moody and depressed, sometimes unmotivated towards learning important subjects. I’ve been experiencing some memory-loss, I’ve still got sleep problems that appear to have greatly escalated during the last month, and sadly I’ve gotten so many wet dreams (despite doing everything not to fantasize!!) that I’ve lost count already. I have, however, started some new habits: Going to sleep earlier, waking up earlier, meditating (still looking for the right kind of meditation for myself), and nightly walks (exercise and dealing with emotions).

Someone may read this, scratch their head and think: Well, this doesn’t really sound worth it. Why should I try out Nofap? Why should I waste my minimal well of willpower on stopping the urges instead of directing it to different things?

WHY? WHY?! What the heck kind of question is that? If you’ve come to this site, then it means that you or someone close to you is literally using their eyes and/or hands to just throw away their wonderful, God-given life to the garbage. If you’ve taken just a little bit of time to research the self-destruction you cause from PMO or MO, you should understand this by now.

Is Nofap a placebo?

I’ve seen many people say that Nofap a placebo, which means it’s not a guaranteed help, and I always sadly shake my head. Whether Nofap a placebo or not is an irrelevant question. All you doubters need to sit down with yourselves and get it through your heads that you need to keep pushing forward if you want to change your life. Relapsing will most certainly not help you AT ALL. Unfortunately, people get quite starry-eyed from success stories. they hang in one month, two months, maybe even half a year, until they realize life isn't going as well as expected. My assumption is that it's because people don't realize that Nofap IS A TOOL. One of several that can be used to better yourself. Your life won't magically become better if you only stop PMOing. You need to get out there and do something with your life.

MOing without P:

I’ve seen “success” stories where people say: 50 days streak/60 days streak/100 days streak/180 days streak, then I MOed and it felt great. And now they’re thinking to themselves: so, this is what “science” meant about healthy MOing. No! No, no, no! Do you know why you felt okay? Because your body managed to finally get past the withdrawal phase. You felt fine after MOing because it was a similar experience to those first few PMO or MO times when you were younger. Over time, the continuous PMO or MO process ruined your body and mind, but you were still fine with it in the beginning. An addiction takes time to develop. It’ll very often feel good in the beginning, at least to a certain degree.

I’ve sat down to write this to make one point: Science is constantly changing its mind. About everything. Nothing in science is absolute. Sometimes it may take five years, or ten, or fifty or maybe even a thousand years, but eventually, things are disproved. So, some people in white coats (from a world that’s continuously inconsistent) said that it’s okay to MO without P, yet so many Nofappers out there are saying not to MO out all, and these are the guys that actually managed to fight through a major life-sucking addiction.

So, what’s harmful about MOing, even “just” occasionally? Consider that what you're releasing is life energy - potential for new life, and as long as it's stored inside of you, it strengthens you. It allows you to accomplish great things. You're afraid that if you won't MO you'll explode or something? I've been there too. You won't. Those urges are the last clean parts of your brain telling you to get up and do something good for yourself, not to pleasure yourself and waste what empowers you.

P changes how you view women and is part of the dopamine-high process, but MOing is still a giant waste of life empowering energy. You can still become addicted, and really, you're still reaching a certain dopamine-high. Maybe it's different from PMOing, but it'll still happen. You'll be moody, restless, but not really doing much of anything. So you beat one addiction by completing a long streak? Well, if you MO now, you’re just begging to become an addict again. Don’t do it, please. It’s never worth it. Find new habits, get up early in the morning, take cold showers, exercise, read, write, make art, listen to music, take self-defense, pray, meditate, explore the world- anything is perfectly wonderful as long as you don’t fall back into that deep, dark hole.

To finish off:

Yes. My life is still hard. But I’ve come to realize through surfing this site, other sites, Nofap videos on youtube, etc, that while I always knew that I was ruining my life by PMOing and MOing, I never realized just how much. In reality, it’s way worse than what I expected. My life is still hard, but I know that it’ll eventually get better. It may take quite some time, but the benefits of having a clear, clean mind and a healthy body are totally worth it.

I wish everyone the best of luck and kudos to anyone who’s beaten their personal record and/or made a streak that’s over thirty days long and are still moving forward. Congratulations!