30 years old . Have had PIED since 20

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by seagulls6878, Apr 24, 2022.

  1. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    I’m on this train of relapsing over and over and over again . I have had PIED since I was 20 years old . One night I stayed up late drinking and snorting pills and watching bikini wrestling porn . When I woke up in the morning I could no longer think myself into an erection . It’s like my sexual emotions had become dulled . I’ve been struggling with this for 10 years and still have pied . My depression is worse and my pied is worse. I don’t find joy in anything nor do I find anything to be stimulating . I don’t know if this sounds familiar to you guys or not . All my favorite songs on my iPod sound completely flat . I no longer get goosebumps or arm hair standing up when I hear my favorite songs . Food doesn’t taste as good anymore it’s just something to stay alive . I’ve been trying and trying and trying . I know what I need to do it’s just so difficult . I PMO’d twice today and it wasn’t even erect. I had two orgasms with a soft penis . Even viewing porn it doesn’t get me high anymore it just makes things “ok”. This is also very hard as I live alone and feel very alone . I worried that maybe years of drug abuse messed up my brain but my doctor says he doesn’t think so . He says I watch too much porn . Does any of this sound familiar to you guys or maybe a similar story if anyone has any healing words ? Thank you
     
    amine13, Xaviergo and desmond318 like this.
  2. desmond318

    desmond318 Fapstronaut

    Yes, I can relate. Everything was fine to me masturbating from 12~27 y/o (I'm 31 now), then starting from 27 y/o, after graduation from the university, I gradually lose interest in things I used to enjoy. I had reduced motivation in life in general. I even became cynical about the world, and didn't want to find a job. During recent years, I just wanted to stay at home every day, indulging in video games and masturbation.

    And more importantly, I lost motivation partly because of me failing in all aspects of my life. Due to PMO, my brain function suffers, and I couldn't do anything well.

    Until very very recently, I try to fight for my life again after exposing myself to this NoFap forum. I feel better after 20 days of NoFap, but yes, I am still demotivated somehow, and I believe things will improve if I persist. You can do the same by going NoFap, don't give up.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2022
    Xaviergo, OhWhenThe and seagulls6878 like this.
  3. wtbootb

    wtbootb Fapstronaut

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    Main thing is that you want to get better and what's weighing you down. Sice I was a kid I know porn and it was something normal to me, I wasn't even consciously thinking about it but it did really worsen my depression, but I didn't really think of it as a consequence of porn consumption. But since I've discovered nofap I left that porn bubble and started to enjoy boredom, music, human communication and more. You went deep, but you still can get out of that spiral. If you don't, it certainly can get worse. But if you find that motivation, you have so many things to discover once again, and that's one of the best feelings. Hope this will help you.
     
    Xaviergo likes this.
  4. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    thanks man . I just hate what I’ve become and why I’m so weak . Also my life is so routine it’s the boredom and monotony. I want to learn to love life again .
     
    OhWhenThe likes this.
  5. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man I want to find that love for life again . This is bad but I really really want to recover
     
  6. BertrandR

    BertrandR Fapstronaut

    stop PMO, and start doing constructive things, reading, hanging out, taking some sun, have cold shower, start a sport, train daily, start having morning training, eat healthy, drink 2 lt water x day, start playing an instrument, meet new people... there is something that could make you happy? do it. there isn't? try things. just act as the happy person you want to become, and u will. PIED will cure itself in the process. Better if you get help from a girl.
     
    seagulls6878 likes this.
  7. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    I workout daily . I keep relapsing and relapsing and relapsing . Idk if this is from porn but I’m also highly sensitive to peoples criticism and comments . I hate my life and honestly I just want to die . As for women , it’s hard for me to even look at them in the eye . I’m worried their going to figure out what’s wrong with me. I just have so much anxiety . How am I supposed to date anyone when I have PMO.
     
    brokenmillennial likes this.
  8. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    I know it's tough but you've just got to do it man.

    I'm in the same situation, I don't know if life without PMO is going to be any better but what I do know for absolute sure is that it's never going to get better with it.
     
    brokenmillennial likes this.
  9. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    Why is it so hard to stay clean man . Is it because it’s so easily accessible ? I know it’s bad and after I’m done jerking I feel terrible but I just keep going back . It’s crazy and it’s insidious . It has a hold on me like nothing else I’ve experienced before . I get stuck on the “woe is me “ mentality too.
     
    brokenmillennial likes this.
  10. Letsfixthis

    Letsfixthis Fapstronaut

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    Alright, here's what I would personally recommend. You sound like you have lost hope, self-confidence and sometimes even your will to live. Make porn your enemy.
    Probably almost everything you hate about yourself right now has some roots in your p addiction. Make a complete list of pros and cons of watching porn and always remember to look at the list first, before you allow yourself to watch porn.
    You want to be reborn as new? Hell yeah you can, it's just a very long and dark road
    Please keep strong brother, I've faith in you
     
    Xaviergo likes this.
  11. Get in touch with a therapist who is trained in porn and sex addiction. In addition to that, find some local support groups. Google is your friend to find anonymous groups for sex and porn addiction.

    But, I know the feelings bro. I'm OCD and a lot of these thoughts are repeated in my head all the time - will I be cured? Will I feel better again? God only knows. But I'm praying things can get better. Start with a doctor - blood tests, psychiatrists, therapists - everything!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 19, 2022
  12. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I want to get better and I need to see someone . I won’t lie I do think about dying often . That maybe id get another shot in another life . I can’t leave my family just yet . My dad has some health problems and will need me in the future . I can honestly say that I think about dying once Eveyone is gone. Just taking myself out of it. I was raised in church but I no longer think their is a god . Maybe a higher power but not the god I was made to believe in . I sleep with a gun by my bed and sometimes I put it to my head just to see what it feels like . Sometimes it seems the only way out of this. Sorry if this is depressing sounding
     

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