300 Days - NOFAP (100% Real) DEFEATED SATAN! FOUND GOD!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by VitominV, May 13, 2020.

  1. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    I will start off by apologizing for not unlocking the necessary badges. The reason i even considered publishing this post is because of the overwhelming joy i have in myself:). And i wish my PMO addicted self (13 years ago) knew

    Backstory
    I'm 33 years old and i suffered with heavy PMO addiction for over 13 years. I would also add smoking cigarettes to that addiction as i only smoke while watching porn. At my lowest point i was no longer watching porn from websites. I was making my own sex-tapes with my girlfriends(8 of them) to stroke my own ego. Sometimes recording our intimate sexual moments with hidden cameras to increase my dopamine *hit*

    Yes i was a sexual deviant.[​IMG]

    But let me say this. I've never hurt a female or had sex against their will. Sex was always consensual. It was filthy and we enjoyed every bit of it, but it was consensual. However given the demon that i slowly let into my soul, i wouldn't have been surprised if i eventually committed sexual acts against their will.

    I was doing 6-7 solo missions a day. Edging on perhaps 4 of those missions. And without a doubt every female i looked at was merely a sex object to me. And i would say EVERY FEMALE that wasn't my sister or mother was a sex object to me.

    ME
    I would consider myself to be quite average looking but throughout my life i've had women throw themselves at me. Ever since i was a teenage boy I was groped in public by females and males alike. I was molested by my older cousins when i was a kid. I was repulsed and angry when males would grope me, but i secretly enjoyed it when females groped me.

    I would get hit on/asked out every time i go to a crowded place. My own cousin lusted after me even after she got married. I just had what most people would call charisma. I was a narcissist in denial. I could always get laid and that made me want to find love [​IMG]

    The previous NOFAP Journey
    I tried nofap a few times before. My longest streak was just over two months. I felt like i accomplished something at two months and i slipped into pmo again.

    The real reason i became addicted to PMO
    Long story short i was a victim of a 10 month fake relationship abt 13 years ago. The girl who orchestrated the whole thing was my cousins best friends fiancée . She had an obsession with me and knew i wouldn't pursue her because she was dating a mutual friend of ours. So she set out to make my life a living hell.

    I was so angry with myself that i let someone(a female) do this to me and vowed to never let anyone (female) try to hurt me again.


    So eventually the porn-stars became my secret friends. I gave up on love. I only wanted to have sex with hot females who enjoyed having sex. Guilt Free. With no fear of rejection, judgement or shame.

    And as a creative guy i was inspired to create my own sextapes. Eventually i no longer found porn from websites appealing. I would watch a clip/video every now and then for inspiration purposes but they weren't real enough for me. I dated only models, ballet dancers and hot girls to satiate my desire for high quality sextapes. And when we would break up it would only trigger my insecurities and fuel my anger to become more deviant and heartless in relationships.

    I transformed into demon himself


    Eventually i started to lose all my real friends and family. I disconnected from all social media. I even lashed out at people i worked with. I had contemplated suicide and even reached a point where i thought "Since i have no real friends or family no one would even miss me if i was gone"... I lost all faith and hope.


    The Moment
    300 days ago i had a glimpse of what i was doing to myself. As i found myself alone in my room, friendless, guilt free about to watch one of my own sextapes, a voice in me whispered "you are better than this" That's all i recall.[​IMG]

    From that moment on i made promise to myself and thus the 300day streak was born.



    Day 1-Day 50
    The struggle was real as i had to replace the habit. Fortunately i picked working out and prayer to replace the time and this helped immensely. I'd say this was instrumental to embracing the new me. I had withdrawals from nofap and no smoking.

    Breaking my longest streak (60+days)
    After 2 months i felt a sense of joy, anxiety was gone, i felt energized. However on the flipside (yes i will call it the flipside) i was getting approached by females again. This was the first test. For i remember trying extra hard to not let peoples infatuations get to me. I became indifferent to whether people liked me or not.

    Day 60- Day 120
    I had a new found appreciation to life. I had an infinite supply of energy and love for all things. I started connecting with plants and animals more. I found nature connecting with me through synchronizations and divine interventions.

    Day 120- Day 200
    The sight of a nude female body no longer triggered me into sexual deviant mode (unless i wanted to switch on beast mode). This was the second test. I was able to see for the first time that the female body is just another version of a human being. I was more interested in getting to know the person. And if there was no chemistry between us i moved on immediately.

    Day 250- Day300

    I reconnected with my family and friends. Let go of all the friends that were a bad influence on me and made new friends.

    My third test. The collection of sextapes. Over 13 years of videos and pictures of all the girls i had loved and lost. Over 200GBs of videos and pictures.(my deviant life's work) SHIFT+DELETED. Erased permanently. The old me DEAD and GONE.


    That moment i shift+deleted i felt that whisper run through my entire body. Cleansing every cell and vein. Releasing the darkness in my soul.

    I found my way back to god. Back to Christ!

    What i realized brothers and sisters is this.. PMO violates your soul. I allowed the demon to use me as an instrument in exchange for a momentary sense of false happiness.

    I do not wish to make this about religion. But the spirit of evil lurks in PMO.

    If you are on this page, site, thread. You are called. Your higherself is desperately urging you to align yourself with all that is pure.

    You are stronger than evil

    You are the light and the love of the world

    And what i personally realized is that even when i thought nobody cared and no one was looking GOD was fighting for my righteousness. And weeping for how far i had strayed away from home.

    NOFAP is not about a streak or about trying to become attractive to the opposite sex. Its about a promise you make to yourself to keep your mind and your heart away from evil.

    May god bless you all

    <3
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2020
  2. Destroyer of PMO

    Destroyer of PMO Fapstronaut

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    Awesome story. Keep it up, it only gets better and better.
    Just a quick question, how many relapses did you have?
     
  3. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    Thank you brother
    Prior to the current 300 day streak i attempted nopmo 5 times in 2 years. Longest streak was 2 months. The current 300 day streak has been monkmode with 0 relapses.
     
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  4. Destroyer of PMO

    Destroyer of PMO Fapstronaut

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    Same bro, I have been battling this addiction for almost 2 years now. A lot of relapses, but as of now I think I am on the right path.
     
  5. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    2 years? WOW!. Keep shining brother. This is it. I just prayed that you may have god strength to fight the urges brother. Trust and let go. May the thought never again diminish the light inside you. With all your might claim your body and your mind. For no evil shall fall upon it and use you as a puppet from this moment on! God Bless
     
  6. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

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    Howd you make new friends being over 30?;)
     
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  7. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    "You're better than this!" Wonderful how only one whisper changes your whole perception. I also had such a life changing experience so I know how it feels. Congrats on your awakening!! <3
     
  8. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    The lord does work in mysterious ways <3
     
  9. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    I love your name You are so right!!! "You're better than this" has become my personal mantra everytime I have a moment of weakness/doubt/fear. I'd love to know your story. <3
     
  10. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    My moment of awakening came when I decided to commit suicide as my life was such a mess that I didn't see any other way out. In hindsight I then had a Near Death Experience in which I saw a bright light and felt an enormous Presence.

    It hasn't been plain sailing for me since then, as my presence at this forum proves. Knowing that there is this enormous Presence, this light, has kept me alive though on numerous occasions.

    I have learnt in the past decades that I am a little spark of this light and that I can connect with it whenever I let go of my thoughts and go to my inner silence or inner space. Meditation, Yoga, Tai Chi and praying to my spiritteam or angels is helping me a lot.

    Through connecting I learnt a lot of lessons. One is my name: Love Is All We Need and another is in my signature: "life is not about being perfect, but becoming a better person every day." As I fall and stand up, fall and stand up, fall and stand up numerous times, these lessons help me greatly.
     
  11. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    Oh glory!!!!! I'm sorry you had to go through the NDE. But I feel like im reading my own journal here... The enormous presence/the light...*Hug* I feel you <3
    You are being called on time and time again. I'm no theologian or minister. But my dear friend, the forces that want to keep you alive are greater than the forces of evil <3 <3 You are called on to do and help others. You hit the nail on the head with " I can connect with it whenever i let of my thoughts and go to my inner silence" Your guides are with you, lead my dear friend. Do whatever it is your heart is telling you to do. If it is just going around the internet reminding people that all we need is love do it. whatever you do my dear friend. Wait no more <3
     
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  12. FunAtomis

    FunAtomis Fapstronaut

    What Satan or Jesus has to do with your addiction? I got that impression that you put off responsibility from your shoulders. So who won that fight? Why did people call that a fight? I mean, then who are the soldiers in that fight? Jesus vs Satan? So if Jesus vs Satan, then who is an addicted person in that fight? So If you relapse, then Satan won? It means, it is Jesus' fault then?

    Anyway, congrats for 300 days. I am sure, you grow up as a person, and you can be proud yourself as it is your success.
     
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  13. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    Thank you for your wishes and query brother. A really good question!

    SATAN and GOD represent the duality of self. To me SATAN stands for all the evil that is present in the world. And GOD for the infinite love and righteousness. Brother, i believe that Jesus Christ died because of mindkinds ability to sin. He took the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pain that comes with being righteous and holy and sacrificed his life to show mankind that evil lives in us. This isn't about me trying to sell you Christianity.
    This is me in love with a GOD that is so loving and righteous...
    This is me accepting that i was a sinner and i needed to repent...
    This is me telling evil to "£$% off...
    And all i had to do was accept that evil exists in me and prevent evil from controlling my thoughts and actions again.
    At my lowest point i had no control over who i thought i was. The evil spirit that was inside me/i became would command me to sin and i would do it guilt free.
    But when i accepted love i no longer needed to validate myself through sin. So i give thanks to god for showing me how much of a sinner i really am.

    My blessings to you dear brother
     
  14. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing.
    Your charisma was a curse in disguise it seems.
    I am glad you made it.
    Continue to meditate and exercise daily.
    Ask God to help you understand yourself more.
    Dig deep into your soul ,and purify it from your early traumas. Try EMDR if you need any professional help.
    The old you is dead.
    I would suggest you call your old self a name and your new Godly self another name , like "Strong " "lion" "God's son".

    And keep saying to yourself "i am ...."
    And everytime you remember your past say to yourself " that was ... ( the name you give to your old self , and not me. I am ..."
    Good luck mate. The world needs you.
     
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  15. Black jack

    Black jack Fapstronaut

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    you have seen hell and you escape from hell congrats while in my case its just about seeing p its almost 3 yrs now i tried hard maximum streak is 3 months yesterday i failed i tried multiple times but to stop but i cant but i know everytime i allow myself to watch p i am making this demon strong i have studies and it affect my studied i am preparing for entrance exam and this p watching urge is the greatest barrier in my life right now i dont want that i failed this entrance exam because of watching p i dont want your thread is helpful i hope at 2021 i will post this thread that i have completed 300 days no watching p and i cleared my entrance exam and get in good college
     
  16. Tom1492

    Tom1492 Fapstronaut

    Thank you, brother, I have been battling my addiction for over 4 years now my longest streak being about 130 days PMO free.
     
  17. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    3 months streak? Wow brother that is awesome pfft you wouldn't have any problems going 300+days...Dnt worry about setbacks, they are absolutely necessary for progress. However, may your will to keep pushing forward never diminish. You have already conquered this battle brother(3 months . It's the habit that is sometimes hard to let go of. Like an old pair of jeans that you no longer wear but keep it just in case. Eventually you will let it go and never look back. Brother if can do it anybody can. Stay strong and ace that entrance exam ♥️
     
  18. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    130 days PMO free welldone brother. Keep shining... Do me a favour and reply to this when you hit 200 days? ♥️
     
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  19. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    Thank you brother for your words, insight and suggestions. I shall consider everything you said ♥️
     
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  20. biggame5k

    biggame5k Fapstronaut

    Good job!. I'm 33 and want to do my best to go 100 straight days no pmo...although sex would still be allowed as long as I don't pay for it...what advice would you give me?...also do you think you can have went that many days with no porn and masturbation if you were sexually active?
     
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