30's, 2 kids, 1 wife, 3 girlfriends, multiple affairs, but i feel fine

Well, it's a weird way to explain it, but I am conscientiously doing both good and bad here...

I have 3 girlfriends, each lives in different countries, plus the wife here in US. This year I felt I wanted to be more successful in my business and make more money but I can't even plan long term for anything. All my focus seems to focus my time and planning around my girlfriends or the search for the perfect, ideal, fantasy girl. I got rid of all social networking sites, and dumped my tinder acct. I feel much better than I did years ago, and i tried to cut down on traveling as much and focus on my kids and church.

I can't figure out if I'm lazy or just fatalist on this topic. I kinda don't want to struggle with PMO, I think I gave in a few years back when I realized in spite of all my religious training and background, it didn't seem to affect my habit at all.

Counseling was not effective with me, I did it more for my wife than for myself. I found it difficult to not get sleepy while being lectured on whatever I was doing wrong. I simply could not focus or stay awake.

I was inspired to try this again after watching a 700lb guy get on a bodybuilder forum and lose +500 lbs. I realized there must be some strength in banding together.... and spiritually that makes sense. I physically have the body of an athlete but mentally, or at least accordingly to my willpower, I'm definitely obese, and not in control at all.

Looking for change!