31 Days, What could go wrong?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by IgotMilk, Feb 25, 2020.

  1. IgotMilk

    IgotMilk Fapstronaut

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    Hi Guys, I'm quite new to this website and the concept of nofap so any tips, pointers, mindsets or lessons you can give me will be very appreciated. I feel as though I have to do this as for the last few years my life has been spiralling out of control and any hope of recovery quickly slips away from me. I've been stuggling with PMO addiction since I was around 12-13 so so just over half of my life has been spent fapping to porn. A big grievnace with I have porn is how energy sapping and soul wrenching it can be. Almost always at key points in my life I have chosen to be cocooned in a world of porn rather than to face the uncomfort of life and achieve potential greatness. To clarify, porn and masturbation addiction has cost me the advancement in two careers and has unsympathetically left me back where I started only to repeat the vacous cycle. I have no doubt this is something I want to persue as I don't think my life really can get worse. If it can I don't care to find out, I really would like to have control of my life. My immediate goal is to hit 31 days no PMO which is a big challenge for me since I struggle past day 4-5. I will aim to post everyday and make this thread a personal journal and like I said any insights are really very welcomed and any benefits you have experienced 30+ days would also be very helpful.

    Thanks in advance.
     
    liveclean and fg4795 like this.
  2. This site is about writing stories my friend.
    In this journal you will create your personal success story my friend. I am sure of that.
    So the best tips stay always the same you can find in all the post:
    -Find new hobbies/interest to fill your time
    -Start exercising
    -Healthy diet(avoid junk foods and too much sugar)
    - try meditation
    -Journal your experience
    - Don't let outer life to get you down.
    After 165 days benefits are a lot:
    -Clearer mind(I've got my memory back)
    -Brighter eyes
    -more willpower
    - More energy
    -more time
    -No shame for my behaviour or to show my phone.
    This are directly related to nofap, everything else will be conquered by additional work you'll put in by using your time and energy. Like learn new things that can be useful or something like that.
    Waiting to read your success story,
    The best of luck.
     
  3. I have two big tips for you.

    The first is education.

    Read the Porn Addiction Basics, YBOP's article on evolution, the plea to end the porn epidemic, the Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Porn Addiction, and anything else that catches your eye.

    The second is to get therapy.

    I would never have succeeded without therapy. Behind every addiction (not just porn) is a collection or problems, and the addiction itself creates new problems.

    If you can find a good therapist who can teach you how to deal with your problems instead of numbing them through an addiction, you will have a major advantage. You might also find it helpful to see a therapist who specialises in this area. (Yes, more than one therapist is definitely a bonus if you can afford it! I've done probably 15 different types of therapy (and I still continue with some of them), and they all helped me to varying degrees.)
    The first three days after PMO are said to be susceptible to the "chaser effect", where your cravings temporarily grow much stronger. For me, it was four days or so. For you, four or five. Some people get it after a week. Everyone is different!

    When you get urges so strong that you feel like you have to succumb, that's when you want to practice mindfulness. Sit in a quiet place, preferably somewhere safe such as a public place so that you won't actually be tempted! Close your eyes. Now, just feel. Feel every sensation throughout your entire body. Start at the tip of your head, and gradually move down your body. When you get to your groin, don't judge, don't panic, don't get angry, resentful, etc.; don't do anything other than observe — as if you were a scientist. A scientist doesn't judge what he observes. He simply notices it. The feelings are neither good nor bad (that would be judging); they just are what they are. Keep your attention on your groin for as long — or as short — as you want. Pay attention to each bit of your penis and your scrotum, inside and out, top and bottom. Be thankful that you can feel what you feel. If you have an erection, enjoy it, don't fight it, but also don't encourage it. Just feel it; observe the sensations. You might want to take a higher step and observe you observing the feeling :). Then continue to move down the rest of your body.

    You can find YouTube videos on being mindful, so I won't go into detail. But you just might be surprised how the urge fades away in a most pleasant fashion when you mindfully, non-judgementally, pay attention to the feeling instead of trying to eliminate or enhance it.

    Good luck!
     
  4. IgotMilk

    IgotMilk Fapstronaut

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    Hi, sorry I'm late but I wanted to thank you for your insightful replies. I did relapse on day 5, however I think I learned a lot from it and have the confidence to try again with my 30 day challenge. I will keep a journal of my progress on here now and any insights are very welcome.
     
    fg4795 and Mordobarn like this.
  5. Askgodfor

    Askgodfor Fapstronaut

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    I firmly believe your best chance at putting a solid streak together is to commit to one of the weekly calls here : http://saatalk.info/us/meetings

    you get to talk to other addicts and hear their stories and share their own. For once, I dont feel alone.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  6. IgotMilk

    IgotMilk Fapstronaut

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    Day 2:

    I feel great today, I started the day by going for a run and having a cold bath. I then mid way through reading Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson. Its really putting everything into perspective about porn addiction, I wish I had read this earlier. One think that struck me is all the subtle ways the brain can isolate or disconnect from reality to protect itself from pain, I guess its how addicts don't realise they have problem till something badly wrong goes on in their lives'. One thing I am struggling with is that I want to learn and do loads of things in one day but I'm just too busy to do them, I think I'll have to pace myself and do a bit each day.

    Thanks guys for your help.
     
    fg4795 likes this.
  7. Askgodfor

    Askgodfor Fapstronaut

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    Great work man. Have you tried one of the SAA web calls? A really big jump for me, a breakthrough, was admitting to myself and others that I am actually an addict. I never considered myself an addict before but now I know that I am FOR SURE. I managed to do 42 day streak before, and I am only on day 4 now, so this is a baby streak so far to me, but everything feels different since I got a Sponsor and have a Fellowship (community of people who are there for me) Just imagine it, I never feel alone, I can always call someone.
     
  8. IgotMilk

    IgotMilk Fapstronaut

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    Hi, no I haven't yet tried the SAA call I will give it a try on Friday or Saturday and I'll let you know how it goes
     
  9. IgotMilk

    IgotMilk Fapstronaut

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    Day 3:

    Today I got of to a great start and have had no urges. Hopefully this will continue but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I've tried experimenting with rewards in where if I reach a certain amount of time off PMO I will reward myself with a new laptop or something else. I'm always really busy and I think I just have too much to do in one day, so I think I'll slow my routine down a bit. Not much I can say really its just been a good day.
     
    Mr. Catwalk Runway and Mordobarn like this.
  10. Sometimes, the simplest reward can be the greatest — an act of self-care. Whether it's looking in the mirror and saying, "Well done!" or taking yourself for a walk in the park, just letting your subconscious know that it's doing well is a fine way to do it.
     
    Mr. Catwalk Runway likes this.
  11. Mr. Catwalk Runway

    Mr. Catwalk Runway Fapstronaut

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    Therapy is cheap?

    Lol.

    No one can change your ways for you.

    I do think some people might feel therapy is right for them but I am in the camp that you have the power to heal yourself.

    It saves money too.

    I am not going to recommend therapy to anyone ever again after I see it differently now.

    Yet I also wouldn't say hey therapy doesn't actually do anything.

    If I had to see a psychological professional for some reason I would choose a Jungian and make sure I wasn't paying a dime.

    I would rather spend that money on hobbies that are therapeutic
     
  12. Mr. Catwalk Runway

    Mr. Catwalk Runway Fapstronaut

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    Nice
     
  13. Mr. Catwalk Runway

    Mr. Catwalk Runway Fapstronaut

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    You seem to be doing good. My day threes are so excrutiatingly painful now it is a stark reminder of what I have to lose.

    Good luck.

    I went to a couple meetings before. Not online ones. Local.

    Not my thing but it seemed appropriate for some of them.

    Honestly I don't think it was beneficial for me.

    It's only one option in an ocean of options
     
  14. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    Be aware of the tactics your brain will use to get you to relapse... it really is a sneaky fucker!
     
    fg4795 likes this.
  15. That depends. If you live in certain countries, such as the UK, you will get free therapy (in the UK you get CBT and counselling as standard, sometimes others), though not necessarily the right one for you.

    Some therapies are cheap. In fact, you can find therapy online, albeit it's never as good as seeing a qualified professional.
    How odd to limit yourself to a Jungian charity! I've never heard one, but if there is one in your area, you can check if you qualify to be a recipient of their charity. If it works for you, you can consider making a donation to them.

    There are so many different therapies that could help. Psychoanalysis is just one, and while it works well for some people, it really doesn't work for others. You need to be open minded about what therapies you can choose.

    Here is a list of therapies, almost all of which I've tried. Every one that I've tried has helped me, some only a little, some quite a lot, and some hugely. I emphasise that this is only a list that I've personally gathered; other therapies are available. Each therapy works well for some people and not well for others, simply because everyone is different. Some of these, such as EFT and yoga, can be learned and online and practiced at home for free.
    • CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)
    • Clinical psychology
    • Counselling
    • Craniosacral therapy
    • EFT (emotional freedom technique)
    • Energy medicine
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Indian head massage
    • Massage therapy (by a professional, not a prostitute!)
    • Matrix reimprinting
    • Meditation
    • Mindfulness
    • Network spinal analysis
    • NLP (neuro-linguistic programming)
    • Reflexology
    • Reiki
    • Systemic constellations
    • Tai chi
    • Yoga
    Of course, you can also ask your GP for recommendations. You can also look at life coaching (from a qualified life coach), which isn't a therapy, but can have dramatic results. However, life coaching tends to be quite costly if you're on a tight budget.
     

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