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Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.
Checking in, day 14.
Thank you for sharing. I forget those days until they happen. Those days all I can do is work and maybe watch TV and lay on couch. I can’t be near computer or phone where I might use.
The thing that has helped me the most is clearly definite goals and a purpose. I know and have written down exactly what I want my life to look like. Three main sources I used in discovering who I am and who I want to be is
1 King James Bible
2 Paradigm Shift (7 video series by Bob Proctor)
3 Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
I have a burning desire to be more and accomplish more than I am. I know that PM will only hinder me. I hope this helps.
Today is day 23. I seen some nudity online today but it did not affect me like before. Don't get me wrong, I was tempted to go back to my old ways but I abstained. Once I got my cool I was objective in what I seen. I realize that in the world in which we live there is no way I will never see this stuff again unless I live in a bubble. It can be flipping through the channels on TV, a incorrect search result, a pop up, on facebook, or even right out in public. Just wanted to share this with you all. I am excited about the progress I have made!
Checking back in, Day 18. Hoping that the sheer craziness of life will prevent me from making any mistakes today.
In my own experience, it’s when there is a lull in craziness that I slip. The moment it slows down a second because during craziness I stopped doing the things that help me.
I am now a full 4 weeks without PM. I think back to Day 0. It was one of the worse days of my life. I am so thankful to be on this journey. Keep fighting guys. You are worth it!
I'm checking in here and I just wrote my little celebration post in the success stories section https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/30-day-short-term-goal-achieved.320504/
I figure it is my little celebration post because we are required to have 30+ days to post there. And I have this now.
I have a long way to go, but overall, I think the past 32 days for me have been a solid start.
My focus is still on short term goals. So now 40 days is my focus. I know it will be sometime next week. It looks like next Thursday (or Friday) after 5pm I'll have pasted 40 days.
Today was somewhat difficult because earlier I could feel an addict feeling, like my system was low on dopamine I think. There was pressure in my system and it normally would have easily pushed me toward P or PMO or MO. But I was able to get at least some dopamine from other sources and I do feel normal now. I don't feel the addicted feeling anymore.
I will continue with posting almost daily to my journal, posting here, a focus on healthy sources of dopamine and my focus on short term goals. I need to make it past 40 days now.
Thank you to everyone here. Thanks for your support in my successes and also thanks for your support when I have failed.
I had an insight recently which is to say to the measure I allow myself to lust over women to that measure I experience suffering and fear of other things in life. To the degree I am willing to surrender and pray without ceasing and be aware of the Presence of the Infinite Invisible God, as my Hightower and comforter, I am feeling connected and fulfilled in each moment.
I am seeing an over abundance of friends and relationships, I am called to stay focused to remain committed to seeing them as my spiritual friends and relating to them as brothers and sisters.
I started to relapse yesterday and then I thought about how relapse just keeps my genitals soft, unable to perform, disappoints me and my wife and said “this isn’t what I want. I should go for a walk.” And I did. For someone like me that porn is an autopilot idea where my brain shuts off and I just do it, just one victory like this, it feels good.
I am having one of my worst relapses. I am confused, ashamed. I couldn't find what the triggers were, that scares me... Sorry, for now I can say this... I'll write more later. I hope today is the end of this fall that lasted days, the worst I remember.
The ranking is updated in post # 1
I want you to know I am praying for you! I also want you to know I believe in you. You will beat this. Keep moving forward on your journey to freedom.
I am sending love and compassion your way. We accept you and respect you and are here for you on our journeys together. You are okay today.
Congratulations! I missed this post but proud of you.
I know that feeling...
Hang in there, we're thinking of you.
Welp... checking in, back day zero.