35 and older accountability, Group 2

Congratulations all!

 

Hi, I read the rules and want to join. Please let me know when there is an opening.

 

Congratulations!

 

I have been doing better the last 6 days. What has helped:

Focusing on eating well, relaxing when I’m stressed and feeling my emotions. When I feel uncomfortable emotions come through, I am analyzing their feelings and seeing if it’s really a big issue that warrants the urge or if it’s something minor. I have a largely health and good life. It’s almost always something minor, but I want to avoid it so I use porn.

I am feeling what I believe is dopamine related depression from not having sugar, PMO and it being gray and dreary outside the last week. I had to keep telling myself “it will not be this way forever.” Sure enough it’s Monday and sunny out. I had some delicious food yesterday and I’m feeling better. The key now is to make it not a habit and to get back to my eating healthy plan.

Appreciate any insights or experience from others in the group on the topics above. Hearing from others helps me think about issues outside of just in my mind.

 

Last night I had a dream about using P on my work computer, while sleeping with a girlfriend. I spent all the dream worried about being caught, then I received email from my boss that looked like I’d been caught. 30 minutes later in dream I looked at the email again and realized it was a spam email he’d sent me as a warning to watch out for.

Seven days without PMO, with less sugar, my brain wants crazy things. I must continue to believe that all this will pass and I will have a better life when I get through it.

 

Checking in! Had a more serious talk with the gf, we're planning to join a class to prepare for marriage in her church this month.

I'm able to talk openly about sex and sex-related stuff with her now, we're getting closer than ever, told her as well about my porn addiction, PMO and death grip. Surprisingly she was very supportive and happy that I'm here joining nofap.

 

Had a really bad dream last night too. Most of my dreams are really vivid when I’m on streaks. This one was so vivid.

 

Thanks man! This is indeed something that is completely new for me... was never of a religious person (still not even now), but I hope only good thing can happen from joining this class.

 

Congratulations all!

 

Update.

I like to share my latest insight which has been so helpful and humbling.

I noticed there are times in my relationship that I feel lustful and i want to have sex with my partner, and if i act from it somehow the sex is not fulfilling and satisfying. I find myself wanting to release too soon or somehow be out of rythm.

But when i focus on practicing living in harmony, peacefully and being present with my partner, many times sex happens naturally without seeking it or desiring it, and when that happens, it feels so fulfilling.

So my intention is to avoid seeking and craving and actions from a sense of lack, and instead, BEING, allowing, embracing and loving, and observing actions without agenda and thinking rather conscious being.

 

Quick check in here...

February went well overall but not perfect. I do feel like a lot of progress has been made this year. I also still feel my current approach is sustainable. But I would need to maintain it going long into the future, maybe for the rest of my life.

I need to write a February report soon.