35 and older accountability, Group 2

Just passing 140 days clean and though life in other ways is a bit tough the last week or two… on the PMO front everything is pretty stable.

as my good friend @NewJohnQ would say - I don’t do that anymore!

So the temptations and thought pop up… the morning wood rises to remind me it’s there, healthy and ready for use… I simply reply - nah - it’s not mine to play with anymore! I’m waiting for my Queen to reclaim ownership and for her to be the only one who plays with her toy!

I can and will do this. This is a permanent and new way of life!
 
Day eleven, need to pay more attention to the morning routine. mentally slapping my face there, stay focused!
One personal observation I made during my last relapse, that I wanted to share. During continuous addiction, the constant dopamine flood, does not show how much of an impact it has in the everyday life. The last time, as I was abstaining for many days, I could feel the difference dramatically, and man how numb did I become. I felt lazy, weak and disconnected. That was the norm before? I was numbed for half of my life. So rehab is climbing a mountain step by step, but just when you fall, you realize how high you have been. let's get high, let's climb, let's reach for the summit!
The sky ain't the limit!
 
Weekly update:
ex4.png

Exercise in week 31/2023: 15-30-30-30-30-30-75 minutes → 4:00 h
No MO.
 
Urges much stronger today. Checking in here rather than giving in to thoughts of browsing work social media accounts. The weekend was great, more intimacy and connection with my wife than we've had all year. With 90 days just around the corner and progress in my marriage it seems like my old self-defeating behaviors want to have their say. I need to keep focusing on all positives of staying PMO free, as well as what I'll lose if I give in.

This week:
2 days meditation
1 hour exercise
 
Unfortunately I lost my 24-day streak.

However, I had more self-compassion, self-acceptance, and more trust in God. I didn't torture myself as much, although I was a little sad.

On the day of the relapse I had written down since the morning more than 10 factors that irritated me on the day. At the end of the day, my daughter suffered a fall and had to go to the hospital running.

As I waited at home, the tension made me relapse.
 
flyswat said:
seems like my old self-defeating behaviors want to hav
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Step by step, every day you can win a day or loose it all. Keep it up!! 90 days is a goal I tried to and failed so close,at 89 days. You can do it better! Push it!

For myself, I had great news. I had been drinking with a friend at the beach when my mom called. She got the biopsy result, they didn't find more cancer. While we still need to see the doctor confirming, it sounds more then promising. The new business idea is picking up, we still need to sort out a few formalities, but my company is not opposed.

So glad to have past the first 2 weeks. You think it would be easier when it's the 3rd or 4th time,...but it was not.

Stay strong!!!
 
Hey guys! Im max! Im trying to go PMO for 120 days! (Originally it was 90 but a friend is visiting me from overseas so we decided to combine our countdowns)

im on here as i pretty much lost my sexual rhythm and found that i needed to over fantasize on situations before i could get hard…then once i was hard it was over toooo quickly…which didnt used to be the case.

doing ok at the mo. My mind still wanders…ALOT. But i think ive got this under control! Hopefully haha

let me know if you have any questions. Oh! Im 39 from australia so let me know if theres anyone else from Aus on here!
 
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