35 and older accountability, Group 2

RightEffort said:
Day 4 -

I noticed after i let go of porn watching my attention tries to get its sense of lack met through watching youtube videos - i can literally watch 4 hours of car crash and police chasing bad guys and after the time is past i feel the same regret and shame and guilt as i do when i watch porn.

So i'm noticing this is a pattern and im making part of my challenge to avoid all mindless browsing including youtube and all other type of social media as well.

I think its only a matter of scale. Porn is on the most extreme side of dopamine pumping activity whereas youtube is on the lower side, never the less they are all coming from lack and trying to fill a void in me through the wrong means.

Alternatively, I am choosing to do more yoga in a community and talk to real people on the phone or in-person and do meditation and reflection to be with this sense of lack, instead of running from it and wasting time.
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First, welcome to the group!
The analysis you do is very interesting and very true.
In my experience,
  • When I don't have good goals to meet I tend to use leisure time worse.
  • the objectives that benefit others are more important and satisfying than the personal ones.
  • interacting face to face with real people removes pressure from the mind and dissipates ghosts.
We are at the gates of the weekend, it will be good to be focused to effectively use the time!
 
newtry said:
Hello @persona2903 Excellent initiative. I am on the waiting list in the other group of "35 and older", but I have already been told that my admission may take months, so this group is just what I was waiting for. I hope it is possible to join here.
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newtry said:
Hello @persona2903 Excellent initiative. I am on the waiting list in the other group of "35 and older", but I have already been told that my admission may take months, so this group is just what I was waiting for. I hope it is possible to join here.
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Thank you for your encouragement and welcome to the group!
From the passage of judges I suppose that the image is that of Sanson beating the lion, impressive scene! I love it, because its strength came from God Himself and I could face impossible challenges!
I make a little reflection:
This hero of faith had our same sensual weaknesses, falling again and again into them until they were almost destroyed. May the Lord help us to have the strength to destroy the lion-enemy, but without that dark side by donating us! Perhaps having the balance of David, who also faced the bear or the lion, but who remained according to the heart of God ("a man after his own heart").​
I am very happy that you join the group, hopefully together we will achieve great things.
Have a great weekend!
 
Day 188. The desire level of P is surprisingly low 1/100 ... I also don't trust this, I know that a storm can be triggered at any moment!
Very happy with the new accountability group, we are already 7 members in just one day. It will certainly be a time of growth and victory for each member.
Have a good weekend, let's be predictive and stay focused on good things.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
 
D64. It was a very good day. I enjoyed the pleasant reality of living with my mind in peace, not only for having obtained 64 days of freedom from PM, but because I did not love money, I do not live for work as my colleagues do.
persona2903 said:
Thank you for your encouragement and welcome to the group!
From the passage of judges I suppose that the image is that of Sanson beating the lion, impressive scene! I love it, because its strength came from God Himself and I could face impossible challenges!
I make a little reflection:
This hero of faith had our same sensual weaknesses, falling again and again into them until they were almost destroyed. May the Lord help us to have the strength to destroy the lion-enemy, but without that dark side by donating us! Perhaps having the balance of David, who also faced the bear or the lion, but who remained according to the heart of God ("a man after his own heart").​
I am very happy that you join the group, hopefully together we will achieve great things.
Have a great weekend!
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Thank you for the welcome and for the biblical reflection. The enemy is powerful, and we have no fight "against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places" (Ephesians 6:12), but together we will destroy it. You also have a great weekend!
 
persona2903 said:
  • When I don't have good goals to meet I tend to use leisure time worse.
  • the objectives that benefit others are more important and satisfying than the personal ones.
  • interacting face to face with real people removes pressure from the mind and dissipates ghosts.
Click to expand...
This really resonates with me. I've been thinking about this ever since you posted it.

I realize how self-focused I was (and still am!).

For years I lived an unhappy and reckless life. I always focused on my own benefits and objectives, never thinking how my actions and words would impact others. Today at least I can now realize that my selfishness stems from my fear of loss of control and acceptance.

I'm working on being a better man and a better human being. I still have a lot of work to do. Every day, many times each day, I humbly ask God for more understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." This remains a real struggle for me, but with God's help and others' support, I feel like I am more connected to people and able to offer and receive support from others.

Today I'll start my day with a walk to the gym. I am blessed to live within a mile of the gym and I have discovered that these weekend "walkabouts" are quite meditative and pleasurable.

Along the way, I've resolved not to wear my headphones, and as I pass people who are walking by, I will look each person in the eye and smile, and I will say "hello" to at LEAST one person who walks by.

Also, while I'm at the gym, I will not wear my headphones while I'm lifting weights, and to at least one fellow gymgoer, I will look him/her in the eye, smile, and say "hello."

I realize these are very small objectives, but I am convinced that making eye contact, smiling and acknowledging people in my life is helping me to become a more selfless person.

For many years I never wanted to acknowledge people, especially strangers, because I had no confidence or love for myself, so opening myself up to people, even in the smallest ways, feels like a step in the right direction.

Have a nice weekend All!
 
persona2903 said:
First, welcome to the group!
The analysis you do is very interesting and very true.
In my experience,
  • When I don't have good goals to meet I tend to use leisure time worse.
  • the objectives that benefit others are more important and satisfying than the personal ones.
  • interacting face to face with real people removes pressure from the mind and dissipates ghosts.
We are at the gates of the weekend, it will be good to be focused to effectively use the time!
Click to expand...


Thank you brother,

I appreciate you taking the lead on this group and sharing your success with the rest of us.

Yes, there is something about interaction with other people in person that brings a sense of calmness and harmony to me, and there is something about being alone and digitally focused that increases addictive patterns.

I think its pure biology, babies that doest get physical hugs from mothers die, the same way when we don't get social needs met our body goes into fight/flight and seeks addictive patterns to release the energy and find a sense of peace.

And I like your attitude about not being comfortable about not having P temptations - I can tell you have been doing this for a long time and you know these temptation ghosts can pop out at any time lol
 
D65 Today I got up early and studied all day, preparing my class next Tuesday (union with Christ). Now, a while ago, I memorized my dialogues for the play of the Church, which will be in mid-December (I have the main role, I play a businessman, who realizes that his life is meaningless, he repent of your sins and receive salvation)
 
I just want to share something that has been very helpful to me.

Sometimes when I am very much by myself and dont have too much human interaction my mind can reallly cause me trouble. I feel really uneasy and i feel strong urges come over me - this can be an urge to overeat or watch youtube or chocolate. or whatver.

Its like i am not at peace and i want to get to peace through sensual pleasures of some kind.

What i found to be ULTRA helpful is going to a HOT YOGA class where i am surrounded by beatuiful hot girls :) I find that somehow being in that room, even though I do not thikn about sex or fantasy about anyone, just being around other people and breathing and doing yoga, it feels very grounding and peaceful.

After the class, I feel like the same way as if i had mind-blowing sex with someone I love and I am now at ease. The urges even though are there, they are more loving and playful instead of painful and unpleasant.

Its like I am happy that I'm turned on, instead of feeling upset that i have this sexual urge.

Lastly, those of you who want to try this I have recently discovered a super awesome solution which is free for the first 2 weeks! you can try any yoga class near you for free - It is called Class Pass and i just had my first session and really worked :)

And you can share the link with your friends to get a referral credit as I am going to share with you https://classpass.com/invite/7VTFTEP49 (select your city and the activity you want )
 
Record keeping.
Besides 90 day PMO, I am doing following
1. Cold shower every morning
(Replaces bad fat with good)
2. 100 push-ups in 3 months program
3. 200 squats in 3 months program
4. A garlic clove every night (studies have shown that sweat of garlic eaters is attractive to women)
5. 3 hours walk/run every week (got to lose 20 lb to get BMI to 25)

In three months, I will be Adonis
 
Today was a great Sunday. I advanced with my biblical reading to 2 Timothy (I will soon have arrived in Revelation and finished reading the entire Bible. I started reading it in March of this year). I was also studying all day, and then I was memeorizing my lines in the play. In the afternoon, in the Church, the rehearsal went very well, I remembered almost everything. Now, at home, I'm still studying. My brain is healthier than ever.
 
persona2903 said:
This is a group for people like myself, age 35 or older. This is the twin brother of the "35 and older accountability group" group created by @artifact , the idea is that if you don't get a place in the previous group, you can join this one.
Here are some rules and guidelines:
  • Join this group by commenting on this post with the phrase "I have read the rules and would like to join this group". Please read these rules before you request membership. 20 members will be the limit, in accordance with the NoFap rules.
  • You must activate your day counter and keep it up to date to be considered an active member. You must also have no PM or no PMO set as your goal.
  • Members' usernames will be ranked in a leaderboard at the bottom of this post according to the number of NoFap days they have (without PM or PMO).
  • Check in at least once a week by commenting on this post. Let us know your status and share any helpful insights you might have. Please refrain from using graphic sexual language so you don't trigger other members. Blatant offenders will be removed from member ranking.
  • Members who fail to check in for FOUR consecutive weeks will be dropped from the member ranking. Please do not request membership if you are unwilling or unable to check in with a comment on this thread at least twice a month.
  • There will be no apps or texting associated with this group, but members are free to contact each other however they wish
  • Please let us know if you no longer want to be part of the group so that we can give your spot to a new member.
  • Thanks for participating! Together we can reach a new level in our recovery.
Note: I may not be able to update the member ranking every day, but I will try to update it at least every other day.

Note 2: In the event of two or more people having the same number of days, they are ranked in order of group seniority (who has been in the group the longest gets the higher ranked number).

Note 3: If the group is full, I can add you to our waiting list. If you like the format of this group, feel free to use it to start your own group thread.

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

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Member ranking (as of 15/11/19):
  1. persona2903 : 188 :emoji_trophy::emoji_medal:
  2. newtry : 64
  3. Espi1971 : 28
  4. RightEffort : 4
  5. dasher : 3
  6. myprocess1951 : 1
  7. ANewFocus : 0
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:emoji_trophy:90 Day Hall of Achievement: persona2903

:emoji_medal:6 Month Medal of Honor: persona2903
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dasher said:
Record keeping.
Besides 90 day PMO, I am doing following
1. Cold shower every morning
(Replaces bad fat with good)
2. 100 push-ups in 3 months program
3. 200 squats in 3 months program
4. A garlic clove every night (studies have shown that sweat of garlic eaters is attractive to women)
5. 3 hours walk/run every week (got to lose 20 lb to get BMI to 25)

In three months, I will be Adonis
Click to expand...

Have you considered Wim Hof method? A little breath work before your cold shower can do so much good :)
 
My goal is no PM. I will try regular relationships (as in the past) after I have a longer record and feel ready without porn.
Comments Please.....
Do you think it is destructive to do long distance camming (yes, sexual) with my girlfriend who is no longer close? It would be maybe once a month and abstinence the rest of the time. But certainty no porn.
 
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