35 and older accountability, Group 2

On day 0 again
Full relapse with back to back days
Letting situations stress and anxiety control and bury me.
There's a lot of fear and uncertainty with both my job, on administrative leave for 2 weeks now and my wife's physical/mental health getting worse
 
On day 0 again
Full relapse with back to back days
Letting situations stress and anxiety control and bury me.
There's a lot of fear and uncertainty with both my job, on administrative leave for 2 weeks now and my wife's physical/mental health getting worse
Keep on trying, don´t give up. Relapsing is part of the process! Every single day counts!
 
Day 15th, clean 15 days. Hope I don´t jinx it. Tomorrow will be an important day, will have stress as I need to work and home alone.

Stay strong!
 
hi @BrendanD this sounds more then just the usual addiction talk and the sad side of it,... if you have those thoughts, consider getting some professional help please. It´s not ok to depend on your son as only reason to continue alive and it sounds like you mean it. Do me a favor and speak with a real person. WHen the tipping point is reached, there is no way to get out of it alone...

Sending you my strength and a big hug. You can get out of this!
 
I have read the rules and would like to join this group.

However, I am not sure how to 'Activate my day counter'. Is it just commenting my number of days?

I'm on Day 2 right now. No PM is my goal.

Thanks for managing this group!
 
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hi @BrendanD this sounds more then just the usual addiction talk and the sad side of it,... if you have those thoughts, consider getting some professional help please. It´s not ok to depend on your son as only reason to continue alive and it sounds like you mean it. Do me a favor and speak with a real person. WHen the tipping point is reached, there is no way to get out of it alone...

Sending you my strength and a big hug. You can get out of this!
Hi
I have started therapy up again and found a much better therapist than my last one. I also found a local dad group that meets up every other week anf making sure to attend those to get out of the lonely feeling
I know porn use is contributing to my struggling mental health. But am still currently struggling, today is only day 2. Been a rough month of May with 6 or 7 resets so far
Thank you for your kindness and concern
 
Hi
I have started therapy up again and found a much better therapist than my last one. I also found a local dad group that meets up every other week anf making sure to attend those to get out of the lonely feeling
I know porn use is contributing to my struggling mental health. But am still currently struggling, today is only day 2. Been a rough month of May with 6 or 7 resets so far
Thank you for your kindness and concern
thats good to know, great to hear. It´s hard to find a good therapist, .. keep on trying, there is always another way! Don´t give up on hope
 
I´m celebrating today 3 weeks. 21 days,...the first couple of days were difficult as usual and there had been a few obstacles on the way. Now those thoughts are not as frequent and I don´t feel so sentitive to them. The triggers continue to fire and I´m far from immune, but the response is not as intense and craving as it used to. So the threshold is a bit higher which makes it so much easier,...
At the same time it´s important to keep on top, to not get over confident. I have decades of addiction on me, that´s not going away in 3 weeks.

Stay strong!
 
I am still here friends, Going strong with Gods grace, and taking it day by day.

Doing my business in person helps me feel connected to others, practicing being more real and vulnerable.

Meditation and reading spiritual books keep me from fears and desires.
 
I had a reset yesterday. I made my 4 weeks, which is great progress and I´m confident that I can recover quickly. It has been strong 4 weeks, but as usually,...the lack of keeping the routine up and especially stress, made me vulnerable. Still, I´m glad to finally have a longer strike for 2025 registered. Let´s keep it up and continue!

Day 0 - May 28th 2025
 
I'm on day 15 right now, really really praying to get to the end of this month and hopefully gain some energy so I can do more things to truly heal and recover my mind body and soul...
 
I had a reset yesterday. I made my 4 weeks, which is great progress and I´m confident that I can recover quickly. It has been strong 4 weeks, but as usually,...the lack of keeping the routine up and especially stress, made me vulnerable. Still, I´m glad to finally have a longer strike for 2025 registered. Let´s keep it up and continue!

Day 0 - May 28th 2025
Great job, weeks is a lot, its been years since I had a streak of that length, what did you feel like in the fourth week? did you have more energy and clarity or were the urges even stronger, don't mean to pry but just trying to get a sense of how things play out as one progresses, please don't feel pressure to answer and regardless of how you decide, glad you you made it so far
 
Hi @Sam78 sure thing! It´s a great question and also helps me refocus on the goal and why the effort is so worth it.
Definitely, usually I feel the benefits kicking in as soon as 4-5 days after starting a clean strike. The first couple of days are usually still so much focus and effort, as well as some withdrawal symptoms.
Clarity: I see the difference very clear when I relapse. It´s for me like someone has spun me in a washing machine and I got water in my ears. I wasn´t too aware as the clarity comes step by step for me, but when I fall, the contrast is huge.
Energy: I can fairly compare this, as I´m playing padel right now. When I´m sober, I have more energy, I run faster, need less motivation, and play better. So i can see this "fact" based evidence how my energy deteriorates with fapping and this extends further also into the view on life. When I´m off like 2-3 week I start making plans, I got so many ideas what I would like to do and it is like fapping does not allow me to gain perspective of my life. As if p* would be the only interest I could have in the world for my entire life.
On a side note: What I find also worth mentioning is resilience and mood. Especially with my kids I feel the up and downs a lot. When I have a couple of week in a strike, I become much calmer, I feel more peaceful and can also withstand better stress. This in turn helps my sleep better, which I usually have issues with.

Other effects I can confirm: Social abilities are increased, I engage more confidently with people, feeling secure. At the same time I don´t run away and can confront better difficult situations. Clearer skin, not sure what hormones play into that, but rehab makes my skin look way better.

This said, today I start from 0 again ;)
 
Had a change in my work so more in person and alone and online and I find myself becoming much more tempted and agitated.

I see clearly how there is a direct relationship with feeling isolation and urges. I used chat gtp and it reminded me that its not sex I want its connection and intimacy I am called to have, so I used wim hauf and prayer and connecting within and making conscious effort to share dinner and open myself to invite others into my life, and I am finding a sense of contentment.

If you feel you need someone to help you kick start your healing journey can reach out to me with any questions or requests for prayer, support or guidance. Blessings
 
Just wanted to check in, day 11 for me. Was harder then expected, as there are so many social commitments right now, kids birthdays, BBQs, soon going for vacation,... not easy to stay on top with all the planning and preparation.

still, 11 days it is!

Stay strong
 
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