1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

35 and older accountability, Group 2

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

    1,509
    4,040
    143
    Checking in.

    Things seem to be going well. Life is always far from perfect but I've had prolonged, acute feelings of inner peace, gratitude, and confidence the past few days. If I could feel like this all the time I wouldn't mind living forever.

    Exercising with renewed focus and intensity. No temptations to reinject testosterone.

    Eating clean. No cravings for junk, although I have drank recently.

    Dating hopper is as full as I want it to be right now. Actually enjoying meeting women. Life is so different now. It's amazing when I choose not to lie. The words just come out. I enjoy people and conversations, and when I speak it's from the heart. That's new to me.

    Sleeping well and 4 more days left until I quit alprazolam for life. 16-week taper, so this is a long-term goal, and I'm equal parts thrilled and fearful about quitting. I imagine the really tough part starts when I stop taking pills to sleep. Kind of like a smoker abstaining from nicotine. But I think I'll be OK. Definitely NOT going back on this. Done for life starting 2/19/2020.

    Have a great weekend All. Thank you for your support and encouargement.
     
    RightEffort likes this.
  2. Pato

    Pato Fapstronaut

    Man, I think that with everything you've been through, you can achieve what you want seriously. I consider you a remarkable person. Anyone would give up, but you kept insisting and you did it, whether you succeed or not, but you made a tremendous effort and that's very good.:)

    Good luck with job @ANewFocus
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  3. Update - Quitting coffee has been extremely challenging.

    I stopped drinking coffee 11 days ago after my stomach flue - used it as a springboard to quitting and detoxing.

    Then I find myself exhausted and mildly depressed, I noticed how much coffee was making me push through tired days,

    After my research on how it affects my brain, I realized my brain has developed new receptors for adenosine which is why i had to take more and more coffee to feel normal and now feeling really challenged.

    After more research, I find that caffeine addiction recovery is a thing in its own. and It is one of the most potent and hardest addictions to beat.

    So i'm now interested in keeping myself accountable through here to avoid drinking coffee and pushing through this window of withdrawals.

    It reminds me of how i felt when I quiet doing drugs, alcohol, smoking and porn.

    It stats with some positive effect then i start to miss it and I feel like i can never be happy without it again, and its the same feeling of depression which come over me.

    I'm looking forward to discovering my "true self" which is without high stimulates to find inner peace and to be able to develop in meditation and communion with my Higher self in a new way.

    I am now increasing my sleep - noticing I was only sleeping 5.5 hrs and no wonder i was feeling so tired!

    While i am still committed to waking up at 4 am for this whole year - I am going to sleep by 9pm and to include extra naps mid day until i feel normal again before making changes to mysleep.
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  4. JJones

    JJones Fapstronaut

    66
    104
    33
    Yes please, I would like in!
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  5. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

    1,509
    4,040
    143
    This sounds like progress my friend. Significant progress! Please keep us posted on the interview results.

    I love how you've locked in and have focused on your priorities.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2020
    ANewFocus likes this.
  6. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

    1,509
    4,040
    143
    I feel you my friend.

    Until 4 months ago I was drinking 6-8 K-cups per day, often until the early evening hours. I had my own K-cup coffeemaker at work.

    In October I brought the coffeemaker home and resolved to limit myself to 1 K-cup per day, first thing in the morning. I failed to accomplish that goal, so now I've resolved to limit myself to 2 K-cups per day, first thing in the morning, and sometimes I fail at that, too.

    But at least I don't take caffeine lightly anymore. For me it is an addiction, one of the toughest addictions.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  7. Good to hear your on the same page bro -

    I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

    I noticed if i discipline myself to cut my food by 6pm and stay on easily digestible foods (healthy vegetarian) and if i meditate before bed and be in bed by 9pm I can wake up at 4 am with much less suffering.

    I also noticed 15minutes of yoga first thing in the morning helps me wake up and my workouts at the gym done later helps me to feel that sense of rush and wakefulness -

    Still think of coffee every day - its like going through a breakup lol

    but i also really LOVE not feeling that sense of hectic vibes, thoughts racing, fast heartbeat and having to go to the toilet million times per day.

    Its like I save 30 minutes just by not having to go to the toilet as much let alone the other 50-80$ i was spending at coffee shops :)

    But its a real addiction - it is a mind-altering substance and one of the hardest one to beat cause 8/10 people is addicted to it we feel it is normal. Just like porn most people watch it and think it is normal, most people get drunk on the weekend and think it is normal. and there is always justifications on why it is good for us. This is what keeps us in addiction.

    lastly my hugest Aha moment has been this - "The answer to sleepiness is not more coffee but more sleep!" lol You would figure this is a no brainer! but its so much easier to have a cup of coffee instead of nap, exercise, modify diet and meditate.

    But we live in the realm of cause and effect, every action has a consequence, taking a mind altering substance to perfrom faster, better, instead of doing the hard work of learning to give the body what it actually needs, results in suffering.
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  8. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    I am pleased to receive in our accountability group to:
    Welcome! You are already in the ranking published in post # 1. Please introduce yourself to get to know each other.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2020
    Espi1971 likes this.
  9. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    @The Real JokeErr
    Congratulations on your 3 months - 90 days! An important achievement that will bring many more!

    You already have a medal assigned in the ranking of post # 1
    [​IMG]
     
    The Real JokeErr likes this.
  10. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    @Bobby2020 You haven't posted messages for a while and I wanted to know if you're ok ... Are you still with us?
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  11. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

    2,092
    4,010
    143
    I slipped last night. I felt the chaser after a weekend of intimacy with my wife. Monday I was alone and so tempted and didn’t take the steps to prevent it.
    I was so tired after a weekend of “recharge” for Valentine’s Day. Poor diet, high carbs, and intimacy with wife probably contributed to having the negative effect.
    Anybody else had similar experiences?
     
    persona2903 and Espi1971 like this.
  12. kllrbee

    kllrbee Fapstronaut

    20
    33
    13
    Wow...came very close to a relapse this morning. Did my taxes on the computer which took about 2 hours. Drank a few cups of coffee while doing them. Of course, there was some frustration involved cuz thats the nature of doing taxes and paperwork for me.
    So when I finished, I had the perfect storm of accomplishment, frustration, and caffeine induced energy. And guess where I was sitting? Right in front of the computer screen.
    Those urges were INTENSE! Definitely the most intense since I started this streak.
    But I got thru it. Just told myself "No way, dont let this streak all be for nothing."
    Then I just got ready for work and left about an hour earlier than I usually do.
    Just thought I would share. Thanks!
     
    persona2903 and Espi1971 like this.
  13. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

    1,509
    4,040
    143
    Intense urges and a very up-and-down weekend, emotionally. I had a 4-day weekend and last week I wrote a list of goals, yet I made zero effort to face or accomplish any of those goals all weekend.

    Watched a lot of TV and youtube videos, more than I ever have in my 4 months of being PMO free.

    Stayed in bed until 3 PM yesterday afternoon, watching youtube videos, and that is the WORST place for me to be, but I just didn't feel like getting up and doing anything.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2020
    persona2903 likes this.
  14. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

    1,509
    4,040
    143
    Thank you for sharing my friend! Taxes was one of the goals I set do do this weekend but I avoided it, because I don't want to face it.

    So kudos to you for doing it, for facing it, and for overcoming temptation.
     
    persona2903 and kllrbee like this.
  15. JJones

    JJones Fapstronaut

    66
    104
    33
    I have just reset last night. I am looking for a 1:1 accountability partner. I have been working on quitting this porn and masturbation for some time now. I'm 48 years old, have been sober from alcohol and mind altering substances for over 16 years, cigarettes for 15 years and nicotine gum for 2 years. I have been to SA and SLAA, but due to the more general nature of the groups dealing the many manifestations of sex and love addiction, I did not feel like they were specific enough to be of maximum help to me. Meetings could range from people talking about how they kept going back to their ex's, to hooker sprees, to people that just couldn't stop having sex with strangers--oh yeah--and with some porn addicted people as well. They did not deal specifically with porn addiction enough. Also if anyone is aware of meetings like SA or SLAA but that are focused specifically on porn and masturbation addiction, please let me know.
     
    persona2903 and ANewFocus like this.
  16. JJones

    JJones Fapstronaut

    66
    104
    33
    And congratulations everyone on your various milestones! We are all doing it by just being here and not giving in to the addiction.
     
    persona2903 and Espi1971 like this.
  17. The Real JokeErr

    The Real JokeErr Fapstronaut

    87
    148
    33
    Thanks a lot for remembering me and awarding me this medal, I am really happy. I have decided to continue semen retention for as long as possible! Thanks again!
     
    Espi1971 and persona2903 like this.
  18. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

    1,509
    4,040
    143
    Goal 5. Stop taking alprazolam (for life).STATUS 2/19/2020:

    Last night I took alprazolam for the last time.

    16 weeks ago, I was addicted to this drug. I could not sleep without it.

    It is such an addicting and powerful drug that I had to slowly wean myself of it. It took me 4 months to do it. I went from 2 mg, to 1.5 mg, to 1 mg, to .50 mg, to .25 mg.

    You can't quit this drug cold turkey because it can give you severe withdrawals, including seizures.

    Now, however, I'm done: I will no longer use it to sleep. In fact, I will no longer use it AT ALL.

    This means I am now taking ZERO prescription drugs.

    No PMO: check! October 17, 2019
    No Weed: check! October 2019
    No Testosterone: check! December 1, 2019
    No Alprazolam: check! February 19, 2020

    Another drug bites the dust.

    Thank you All for you support and encouragement!
     
  19. What do you think you can do differently moving forward?

    What did you learn from this?

    For me when i get this i notice i am getting lost in temptation and soon relapse is bound to happen. This usually is a major yellow card to me to take on a new discipline - may be fasting or getting out to talk to people or being more mindful with my thoughts and not let lust sneak through...

    I believe we have to be ACTIVE not passive in dealiin with this addiction, we must replace this with a higher good - or else we are going to relapse again and again and remain in our miserable lustful existence.
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  20. Update - day 100 I think

    I have been having major dreams about sex, and through the day I started to really crave sexual experiences.

    In the past few months, i noticed there are random pockets of this kind of temptations - when I start to miss being with women and feel the craving for pleasure come.

    I know while being with a women is fine, lusting over the pleasure is not because it always leads to some from of frustration and disappointment

    Also at work seeing many attractive women it is so easy to get lustful, I practice praying immediately and focusing on not just the beautiful faces and make up but becoming aware that the most beautiful women when she is bitchy and unconscious can bring so much suffering.

    Nevertheless I feel a little overworked, and in need of more personal time - this Sunday I am taking a full day of silence and meditation to bring myself back to balance.
     
    ANewFocus and Espi1971 like this.

Share This Page