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35 and older accountability, Group 2

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    I think we will have a place soon, I will enroll you on the waiting list!
     
  2. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    I want to congratulate the most active member of this group for having reached six months / 180 days of victory over FAP. His name is @RightEffort and it is a true honor to have him in our accountability group!

    [​IMG]
     
    RightEffort and ANewFocus like this.
  3. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

  4. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    We also congratulate @Arnuld on his six months of victories!

    [​IMG]
     
  5. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    [​IMG]
    These days I turned a year without PM, an incredible achievement that I did not expect to achieve! I want to leave you seven tips from my experience, maybe it will help you.

    1. RECOGNIZE & DECIDE
    The first step is to recognize that PM is a problem for me, and to decide that I don't want to live with it for the rest of my life.
    I knew for a long time that PM was not good, but I was looking for excuses to think that it was normal, and that this was better than doing worse. The change started only when I realized that this was really harmful to me and that because it was so serious I had to change it.

    2. COME OUT OF THE DARK
    PM is a shameful thing and we keep it hidden. Especially if we are already a certain age, because everyone assumes that we have already overcome the uncontrolled impulses of youth.
    But when something remains in the shadows and we cannot share it, it becomes more powerful and the exit increasingly difficult.
    The nofap.com site helped me break the circle of silence. It provided me with the realm of trust and anonymity necessary to open up my interior and recognize my secret addiction.
    On this site I met wonderful people who also shared their experiences and, instead of condemning me, they helped me to go forward.

    3. GOOD OBJECTIVES
    Staying motivated is essential. For this, we must have personal projects, objectives to fulfill that encourage us to invest time and effort. When those goals are met, a formidable feeling is released within us and fills that void that leaves PM's quick pleasure.
    If our projects and goals have to do with helping other people, it is much better. Obviously the human being is a gregarious being, who finds pleasure in doing good to the other.

    4. RECOGNIZE AND CONTROL TRIGGERS
    Each one has situations that push us to PM. Anxiety is a very common trigger. In my case, feeling aimless leaves me aimless, with a feeling of failure. The same thing happens to me when I have goals but I can't achieve them. A dangerous trigger is feeling unrecognized by others, useless, feeling worthless in the eyes of others ... lowers my self-esteem and makes me want to take refuge in the easy pleasure of sexuality. Fatigue is another risk factor.
    You identify triggers when you are about to drop or drop on PM. After the initial slump, one must use that moment to self-analyze and identify which trigger caused it to fall.

    5. IDENTIFY WHAT HELPS ME
    There are things that gratify us, empower us, strengthen us. I identified these:
    -acceptance
    -understanding
    -sincerity, honesty
    -encouragement and recognition
    -fellowship
    I love receiving these things, but I found it equally valuable to give them. Accepting others as they are, understanding them, speaking sincerely, encouraging and recognizing others, seeking friendship ... are ingredients that we must add to our recovery.

    6. APPRECIATE THE BENEFITS, FLEE FROM DANGERS
    It was very helpful for me to realize the benefits of avoiding PM. As the days went by I found that I had more creativity, greater peace of mind, more efficiency, better use of time, less guilt, more freedom.
    It was also very helpful to see the things that PM stole from me, and how the lives of people close to me were almost destroyed by their poor control of sexuality.

    7. I CAN NOT DO IT ALONE
    One of the most important secrets: I am not strong enough, I am not in control of the situation, I cannot assure my victory. In this sense, spirituality is essential. My relationship with God was the decisive factor in achieving lasting achievements.
    Psalm 46: 1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
    I know I will always be susceptible to falling in PM. I will never declare myself cured, I will always be in recovery, trying to be alert so as not to fall. With God's help I will move forward one day at a time.
     
    ANewFocus and Barakah like this.
  6. Barakah

    Barakah Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations to you guys! You should celebrate it.

    For me it's day 5. Hoping soon I could have a good streak like yours.

    Thanks for those tips. Sounds like you've gone through the 12 steps process, is that the case?
    I can relate to what you said about how having a bad self esteem is a trigger. To be honest I deal with that often specially since I started my new job few months ago..

    Have a good day guys
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  7. Grants buddy!!!!

    ONE YEARRRRRRRRRR That is a BIG DEAL

    Seriously proud of you brother
     
  8. Thanks brother!

    Super grateful! :) It's amazing how quickly time seems to go by.

    its almost more amazing how much more harmonious and peaceful i am feeling in all areas of life in just 6 months
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  9. Congrats you guys!!! This is great
     
  10. invig2020

    invig2020 Fapstronaut

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    "I have read the rules and would like to join this group".
     
  11. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    • 1 day clean.
    • I ate sweets.
      I exercised for 45 minutes. Second day in a row.
    • Reading act therapy book. Helping me stop negative thinking patterns.
    I will check in here daily to be accountable.
     
    Barakah and RightEffort like this.
  12. Nice job brother!!! 2 days in a row is a big deal! keep it up!
     
    JJones likes this.
  13. JJones

    JJones Fapstronaut

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    So I had a setback actually on May 12th at 0345. For some reason (probably ego) I like to have a few days under my belt before posting on the blog. So now, back to day 6 actually.
     
  14. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I understand and do the same thing. I am trying to let go of my guilt over coming here and admitting a defeat. I keep trying to wait to post until I have success, but often times it doesn’t come and it just goes longer.


    Today’s check in:
    • I exercised for 45 minutes
    • I did 20 minute walk with wife
    • I did 45 minutes of recovery work
    • I shared my fears with wife instead of stewing on them
    • I did eat sweets twice today in reaction to uncomfortable emotions of fear and boredom.
     
    Barakah likes this.
  15. Barakah

    Barakah Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys

    Checking in : I have relapsed on Monday. Day 1 today.

    It's okay we all mess up sometimes. We should try to learn from our mistakes.

    For me, the patterns that lead me to relapse are becoming clearer and clearer.
    So hopefully I'll be able to break the patterns one day
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2020
    ANewFocus likes this.
  16. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Keep going. Try to take actions that make today better than yesterday.

    My daily Check-in
    • Exercised 20 minutes
    • Did 45 minute walk with my wife
    • I did not eat sweets today.
    • I did 20 minutes in my ACT book

    • I am feeling some low anxiety about upcoming work deadlines.
     
    RightEffort and Barakah like this.
  17. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Daily check in:
    • Worked late
    • No recovery time
    • No exercise
    • No sweets
    • Struggled with flirtation on chat

    • I need to make time for recovery tomorrow.
     
  18. Barakah

    Barakah Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the support man
    Day 4 today. I've been feeling sick, lethargic. Managed to do my routine today (meditation, hour of power, Journaling and exercises). Working on the 12 steps.
     
    Huw980 and ANewFocus like this.
  19. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Great job showing up today even though your body didn’t want to cooperate.


    Daily check in for me. Another long day at work for me with lots of stress. I said to myself that I need to stop working and prioritize myself and I did.
    • 45 minutes of jogging
    • 40 minutes of ACT work and recovery.
    • No sweets today.
    • No flirtation today.

    • The ACT work is helping me be present for automatic thoughts that are not helping my life.
     
    RightEffort and Huw980 like this.

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