35 and older accountability, Group 2

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Well, I got through that first strong urge to relapse, again. Luckily as I just got up, and hadn’t takin my first cold shower yet, so I went right into my routine and took a cold shower and that bought me a little time. From my experience, once I get to about 2 days, then I got a little momentum and it gets easier; but right now is definitely the danger zone. Gotta keep busy.
     
  2. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    It is a good idea. As over used as it is, but it’s the absolute truth: practice makes perfect.
     
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  3. newstart002

    newstart002 Fapstronaut

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    Day 5 today.

    I've been busy with work and other stuff but will try and check in more next month.
     
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  4. webdevil81

    webdevil81 Fapstronaut

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  5. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Damn is right. Something about that 10 day mark that seemed to get both you and I.
     
  6. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Well, that was fun: NOT. I’m a 2 cold showers per day guy, and every time I skip that evening cold shower (like I did tonight) some kind of setback seems to happen. Tonight I kind of hit rock bottom (in relation to my goals at least). After finishing up a PMO binge, I then decided to binge eat (my diet has been rock solid for 40 straight days now until tonight). And that binge eating has come at a perfect time, as I have 9 sessions set up to start with a personal trainer at the gym on Monday to amp up my weight training.

    If only to rewind the clock back 2 days ago: everything was going fine, I had a nice 10 day streak of nofap going; could be on day 12 or 13 right now. Oh well.

    From personal experience, the nice thing about eating clean for a while like I have (before tonight) is, one binge, like tonight, won’t really do much negative as long as I get back on the straight and narrow tomorrow.

    My rant the other day about 90 days to practice until new years. Well, I now got some stuff I know I need to focus on and keep in check for the next 90 days before 2021 starts.
     
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  7. What is your daily morning and night routine? Would you be willing to make some changes? If so let me know what your doing and i can make suggestions -

    Morning and night sets the atmospher of the day - can greatly reduce suffering by consciously making small changes
     
  8. yes drinking = extended suffering
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  9. I find great benefit in total pure renunciation for a period of time - if your doing hard mode, why not try it for 30 days when you actually let go of trying to find a companion and find a new inner companion in your own practice,
     
  10. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Good suggestion. I am reasonably disciplined regarding that which is in my control. Morning meditation & workout. I am aware of certain mantras that I could be better focused on that might assist me in dealing with external stresses. Thanks for the suggestion to examine my routines. I will look closely at that.
     
  11. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    checking in. trying something different...I only use computers at work or the library now....at home, I get 5 minutes on this website then no more computer....and I don’t watch TV.
     
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  12. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Binged this weekend. Gave my wife tighter control of my blocking software. I should have done it months ago when I realized it was weak. I just kept deluding myself into thinking I could make the right choices.
     
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  13. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Since I only have 5 minutes on here have no time to write anything. But at work, I use the computer to check this and that and get it out of my system. So when I come home, I have no reason to use this computer. So far so good.
     
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  14. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Congrats to @invig2020 , @ADHDf , @dasher for having reached 90 days/3 months! It would be good if you tell us about your experiences on the way to reach this goal!
    [​IMG]
     
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  15. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    We officially welcome @webdevil81 to the group, you are already ranked in the # 1 post!
     
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  16. Barakah

    Barakah Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed today. I feel like I try everything but nothing works.
    I've used meditation (daily), 12 steps, parental control stuff, affirmations, visualisations, work on emotions, enhance self discipline and self control, fasting, etc

    I've had some great results in the past but theses last months I don't see much improvement, idk what to do. Feeling kinda desesperate today
     
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  17. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Tomorrow is October 1st. So 90 days to practice something for new years resolutions for 2021 (Also, wouldn’t that be sweet, for us rookies, to hit 90 straight days of no nap by the start of the new year?). The big thing, besides nofap, diet, and weight training that I would like to have as my new years resolution is regular reading. I’ve been a reader my whole life, but just not consistently throughout the year. So what is the best way to go about this? I could say I want to try to read one novel/book per week, but that’s just not practical: I have a busy life, some books are long and take longer then a week, and I don’t want my whole days just locked in my room reading because I’m trying to hit a weekly book goal. I could say one book read every two weeks. But is it more realistic for the long term just to say: I’m going to read AT LEAST 10 pages per day from a book. If I read more fine, but all I have to do is read 10 pages per day.

    Like I said before: with weight lifting, work and working overtime, cooking, spending time with my dog, having a life, fishing and other stuff; getting 7-8 hours of sleep for muscle recovery, it’s hard to read one book per week and just not realistic.

    What does everyone think? Should my focus, for the next 90 days as I get ready for new years be to: Just read 10 pages a day? Or should I make it slightly more challenging with 20 pages a day. what does everyone think?

    AND DON’T FORGET. 90 DAYS TO NEW YEARS. WOULDN’T THAT BE GREAT TO HIT OUR 90 DAY GOALS OF 90FAP BY THE START OF THE NEW YEAR?
     
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  18. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 15 - I'm feeling lost and without direction. My attention span problem is in high gear. Can't stay focused on task for more than a minute or two and this is when my mind defaults to going to a P site. I've got to try to get work done so I'm at a computer, otherwise I would just go somewhere and leave the internet connection far away. Maybe just hit the deck for ten pushups every time the mind wanders? Just watched a vid about challenges around day 7 and 14 due testosterone levels. That would explain a lot about my timelines. Struggling these last few days.
     
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  19. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    One of the things that I found fundamental is to recognize that FAP is something really bad for me.
    More than half of my life I tried to rationalize it thinking that it was something normal in nature, therefore I should not give it importance. But deep down, it was something that made me very ashamed. On the other hand, it occupied a large part of my mind, just like any other vice or addiction.
    Thus:
    * if it was embarrassing,
    * If I occupied my mind distracting myself from the good things I wanted for myself,
    * if there was a horrible "sour taste" left in my mind at the end of each PM episode (which was getting longer and more in a row) ...
    ... the conclusion was obvious: PM was a VERY bad thing.
    Once I internalized it, that I realized how bad I was, it was only there that I could begin a true recovery.
    If you are in the "evaluation" stage, seeing how bad it is, I hope you soon realize that it is VERY bad ... then you will be much closer to the exit.
    I encourage you to keep going. We are here to help us move forward!
     
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  20. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    I think something very similar happened to me ... unbearable. Every time I wanted to PM, I entered the forums to see the experiences of others, wrote and checked what they responded to me. It helped me channel my anxiety and better understand what was happening to me.
    Live one day at a time and do not be discouraged by seeing how much progress remains or how likely you are to relapse. It's going to get better, just hold on.
     
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