35 and older accountability, Group 2

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Working on a new weight training program a trainer set up for me at the gym, and he’s working with me for a couple weeks to get me on the right track. Hit the weights hard today (definitely will feel it tomorrow), then went straight to work for my usual 10 hour shift. Just had dinner, and soon getting my 8 hours of sleep (jealous?). Anyone else in here prioritize their day to give themselves the best chance every day to get their 7.5 to 8 hours of sleep per night?

    Anyone in here ever try to find the fountain of youth? Well, look no further. It’s sleep. Make sure you seriously try to get your 7-8 hours of sleep per day. Some people call that sleeping your life away. But your body needs rest. The universe designed us, not much we can do about it. We need sleep. And if you aint getting your 7 to 8 your setting yourself back.

    Enough of that. Time to get off this dam website. I got things to do. Like sleep.
     
  2. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Been pretty much only using the internet at the public library or at work. So far so good.
     
  3. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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  4. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I am battling the same. The call of porn and it’s promise of excitement and temporary pleasure wins every time. I’m trying to do the other activities to help keep my mind focused but after a week or 10 days my discipline fades and desire for pleasure and escape wins.
    My wife is ignoring the issue. I’m okay at hiding but can’t be good enough to hide this now.
     
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  5. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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  6. JJones

    JJones Fapstronaut

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    I just slid again. Is anyone available for accountability partners? I'm not looking for anything heavy duty, just to check in with a text daily.
     
  7. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I am available but will say accountability partner needs to be sharing more than just check ins. I have accountability partners that just check in and it’s autopilot and not really valuable.
     
  8. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I have one day clean. I exercised, avoided being alone with computer, relaxed and tried to be gentle with myself.
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  9. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    So I just relapsed twice today and have now reset the counter at 0. Maybe I got this wrong, but this is kind of what I think at the moment. We should quit jerking off, yes. But that shouldn’t be the main focus. What’s a lot more important is making sure everyone in here is weight training. If they are not made of glass and are physically able. In this group, we are all over 35, and we are losing muscle mass a lot faster now that we’re all at least in our mid 30’s. Order of importance for me is: DIET, then WEIGHT TRAINING, then NOFAP.
     
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  10. Schnabel

    Schnabel Fapstronaut

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    Greetings! This is my first check in. So, finally, after two decades of hardcore addiction with maybe 3+ hours of porn and 4-6 faps as my daily average (!), I'm clean (no PM) for 14 days now. It's been a hell of a ride and - for sure - one of the hardest things, I've done in my life. Sadly, I lost my recent AP along the way. So here I am, looking for a new one to check in via the message system - maybe every other day (if appreciated, I could try to keep it 7 days a week, but I can't promise anything). For now, I feel super stable as I've created a set of tools, that I have trust in. So, this really might be it for me (knocking on wood). All I'm looking for right now, is some guy to chat with during the upcoming weeks and months, to help and to share some experiences and tactics. To add a little stuff; I'm 38yrs old with wife and kids, so naturally my program is no-PM. I'd really love to have a conversation in German to make things easier for me, but it's not a must have anyway.

    Godspeed, guys.
     
  11. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 20 - Chaser effect on high alert. Am creating a plan for the next couple of days to keep myself busy to avoid getting drawn to thoughts as I used to my entire life after intimacy IRL. This is my test. Stay strong all.
     
  12. Schnabel

    Schnabel Fapstronaut

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    I experienced that for me the Chaser effect from sex (easy to handle with some minor intrusive thoughts the next day) is nothing compared to the Chaser effect after P or P-sub (which fucks up the whole next day at least). Is it just me?
     
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  13. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    The guilt and shame I feel after PMO kicks my ass and there's not as much chaser effect for me with PMO as there is with sex IRL. I'm working on this particular part of my addiction, and that is I've almost always had an active sex life (in a monogamous relationship) for my entire life but still used PMO like a fiend. PMO after sex IRL was a real treat for me. So now I struggle with de-coupling my brain pattern of partner intimacy and then use PMO. I think like anything it's re-wiring of what your dopamine fix is looking for in response to a certain situation. It's like I'm Pavlov's dog, I trained myself well and now I have to really concentrate to break that stimulus/response cycle. In addition to some other coping skills, I'll probably be on this site a lot today.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2020
  14. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    checking in. Nothing to say, relapse again today, but I’m not kicking myself. Get back on it again. Diet and weight training is going good. I’m trying to put on muscle, so my homework moving forward is I need to eat more. Sounds like a good problem to have, don’t it?

    I said it before and I’ll say it again: while this PMO addiction is a bitch to kick. Thank God then that at least I don’t smoke. Kicking smoking must really suck to kick.
     
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  15. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    This is worse than smoking or alcohol. And let’s do it together today. Let’s both commit to stay clean today. Do whatever it takes even if that means not doing things we enjoy.
     
    Barakah likes this.
  16. Barakah

    Barakah Fapstronaut

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    Something kind of interesting happened theses last days. I saw videos talking about emotional sobriety, and people saying that trying to suppress emotions is at the root of addiction
    So I did as one of them adviced, and focused on being aware of emotions and feeling the emotions I might have suppressed... And as a result, I became VERY tempted. I relapsed everydays of the last 4 or 5 days (I usually have better streaks than that)
    So it made it clear that there's a link but I don't know how to deal with this correctly
     
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  17. John Call

    John Call Fapstronaut

    Hello everyone it took me some time to start writing again, I'm having a real problem because after I relapse I'm not able to face others and say it out loud that I relapsed and I couldn't face myself or face you here in the group or in the NoFap forum to speak it out.

    I think I was mistaken I thought that NoFap will be a journey only of success and I don't accept that I don't succeed but actually I had a lot of failures lately and I don't know what should I do,
    Anyway here I am back again starting a new streak and I hope I'm able to succeed thank you.
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  18. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I struggle with the same thing. I know you guys accept me but admitting my failure to you guys leaves me deflated. But that deflated ego is the humbling I need to want to change. Otherwise I go on living as if it’s lot a problem when it’s eating me alive.
     
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  19. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Daily 24 - my daily struggle. After a few mellow days that b1tch is back, trying to push my addict brain into P. Bringing back images of specific things that were a total obsession for me. And perhaps still are. Literally had the phone in hand several times to start searching, and set it down each time. By thinking about many of the stories here about how crappy we feel after falling into a PMO session, I gave myself a pause to think and gather some strength. This sh1t ain't easy always.
     
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  20. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    That’s amazing that you were able to stop when it had you in its grasp. Keep fighting and don’t become like me. I’d the thought comes to me, I’m already PMOing before I even know what happened. Don’t reach my level.
     

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