35 and older accountability, Group 2

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    We have a few places available to join the group.
    @Els11 and @Sig Sauer XL , do you still want to join the group?
     
  2. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 21 - I've been away from posting here for a number of reasons, all of which have kept me away from any PMO thoughts or urges. Unfortunately those reasons are challenging emotional situations dealing with marital relationship, death in family, and a health issue. That should be enough to keep anyone away from PMO. Stay strong everyone.
     
  3. JJones

    JJones Fapstronaut

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    trying to stay in touch
     
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  4. CraftyDad

    CraftyDad Fapstronaut

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    I have read the rules and would like to join this group.
     
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  5. Welcome @CraftyDad :) You are bound to be successful
     
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  6. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    The ranking of post 1 is updated. Congratulations to those who "leveled up", and all our encouragement and support for those who relapsed but remain steadfast in the fight!
     
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  7. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Welcome @CraftyDad to the group! You are already an official member and you are included in the ranking of post 1. It is our custom that those who join introduce themselves and tell something about themselves ...
     
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  8. CraftyDad

    CraftyDad Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for having me in this group, I'm glad to be here.

    My story with PMO started as a teenager, I didn't think much of it back then, but now I realise that there were a few clear signs of addiction. Over time it became a habit, even though much of what I watched didn't align with my values. I did try to stop many times, among others when I first moved in with my girlfriend, but always relapsed after a few weeks. Things unfortunately didn't change as I got married and had kids, but the feeling of engaging with a disgusting industry grew worse.

    Towards the end of last year, I read Atomic Habits by James Clear (greatly recommend it), and applying the ideas from the book to my negative "habit" helped me identify and prevent some of the situations in which I commonly relapsed (I'd be happy to share more in a future post). At the end of December, I decided (once again) to get clean, and although I've been successful so far I have been regularly teasing myself, and porn has been very much present in my mind, leading to sleepless nights and physical unease in general. These physical symptoms of withdrawal made me feel like I am really broken. It was looking up these symptoms that got me here.

    The testimonials related to nofap gave me some hope, I see others facing the same challenges as me, and I see people with high counters that give me something to look up to. Abstaining both from porn has been difficult, and from now on I'm also leaving out masturbation entirely, that gives me clarity and that's what my counter reflects. I want to live a life where I'm proud of everything I do, for my kids, for my couple, for my own sanity.

    I plan on participating actively in this group and share updates regularly, please keep me accountable.
     
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  9. InnerMan

    InnerMan Fapstronaut

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    Welcome! Good to have you here and all the best on your ongoing journey.
     
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  10. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing your story, I really identify with it (since pre-teen and for almost 40 years I was in M and then in PM). I didn't read the book you mention but I find its title very interesting, habits play a fundamental role in our recovery. We hope to help you. I wish you could live today in victory, focused on what is important.
    Welcome to the group!
     
  11. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    How's it going @JJones ? A greeting and my encouragement to live today in the best way!
     
  12. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I have been away from the group and using for some time. In the last year, I worked more, used PMO more and became a lot less happy.
    This week I ams starting back on the path with meditation and NoFap again. I’ve been really depressed lately. Winter is normally tough but this is worse. I’m glad the group is still here.
     
  13. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    I'm feeling that same sense of depression lately. Hang in there. Good that you are back and have a decent streak going.
     
  14. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Sadly no streak, but today is one day where I start caring for myself again.
     
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  15. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Welcome back @ANewFocus . Let's make this day worthwhile and focus on today. I like this concept: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34).
    Our encouragement to continue forward!
     
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  16. CraftyDad

    CraftyDad Fapstronaut

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    One-week streak. It hasn't been an easy week, stress and frustration at work, things not going too great at home either, but I managed to stay 100% clean. The biggest struggle is when I'm bored, I think I need to work on my ability to refocus my attention on something productive.
     
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  17. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Thank you brother. Today is almost over and I will try to start tomorrow this way.
     
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  18. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Congrats!! Yes, refocusing is essential and it is vital to find something that motivates us, either for the pleasure it causes us to do so or for its usefulness.
     
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  19. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    hey brothers - it all became too much for me last week. The briefest peek at a psub lead to my downfall to PMO. Again, it was hardly worth the effort and I really don't feel the "rush" so wtf am I doing? Just falling back into old habits. What I am learning is that I am still just 8 months into recovery, and I have to daily remind myself of my coping skills AND EMPLOY THEM. The last few weeks have been overwhelming for me on many levels and I ran out of gas and gave up without even trying to abstain. So back at it here, about eight days in.

    Marital stuff is very difficult right now. The pandemic effects approaching a full year is weighing on all our resiliency individually and as couples. For those of us whose marriage was not stable when COVID started (mine wasn't) the last 11 months have been a helluva time to reconcile relationship difficulties. It's not going too well for me currently. It's also been a helluva tough time to overcome a PMO addiction. So let's grace ourselves with some positive recognition for achieving even one day free of PMO; and for those that have accomplished more - congratulations!

    I have spent the last couple days thinking deeply about recommitting to beating my PMO addiction. To getting back to basics and refocusing on the constant effort to use my coping skills to maintain clean thoughts and actions. I do believe that a PMO-free life makes us better men - better human beings - to give us the best shot at having the best relationships we can in our lives. So I am counting on that for the future with my spouse.

    I'm a rookie here, less than a year in and I have much to learn, but I do know that participating in this community is the one thing I can count on that helps me. Thanks all. Stay strong.
     
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  20. Reading the book letting go by dr hawkins on emotions. helping. I am feeling lonely tonight specially when I do well in all areas of life I feel i am missing out on an intimate relationship but thats only on nights like this when i feel i would have loved to have some one to connect with deeply, but i know when feeling lonely is the worst time to meet someone, instead I go within and sit with the feeling and it dissolves, I trust i am going to attract someone naturally soon who will be the one God has picked for me not my ego :)
     
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