35 and older accountability, Group 2

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Just checking in briefly before work. So, I’m into pmo daily; but the good news is at least I’m checking in. In the past I would just stay off nofap website completely.

    But, there’s to parts of me right now: part of me really wants to get back into the fight and finally win at nofap. The other part of me has been down this road enough to know that, if I jump into nofap again, I’m just going to fail again.

    If you keep doing the same thing, your going to keep getting the same result. So there’s something I’m missing. there is a piece to this puzzle that I have been missing and therefore not succeeding.

    Is it meditation. I never got into or seriously tried meditation.

    I don’t know if this post makes sense, I don’t have time to proof read it, got to go.
     
  2. CraftyDad

    CraftyDad Fapstronaut

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    Had another reset, and I'm feeling awful about it. Today was not a good day, in many ways, and the whole "working remotely in front of a computer" thing is making things difficult. I need to work on getting my life together, and addressing my addiction is a part of that.
     
  3. richsimm22

    richsimm22 Fapstronaut

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    I think the missing piece is connection. They say the opposite of addiction is connection. Addiction is formed as a way to repress some form of pain. So the way forward is to ask yourself what's missing in your life? What's working for me is creating new healthy habits. I'm exercising, reading and meditation. Get off social media and watching the news. Find something healthy. Be aware of when you would normally fap. Mine was always any chance I was alone or as soon as I returned from work. Never just sit on your bed and scroll on your phone. The chances of fapping are increased dramatically. Put yourself in a position where you can't. Think generally a cleaner life and then you know if you fap then your spoiling your progress. Have a goal and keep aiming towards it. I dont mean just a streak goal but the reason your doing it in the first place.
     
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  4. Steveal3aneef1

    Steveal3aneef1 Fapstronaut

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    I agree , getting locked up can be overwhelming,
    As an unemployed person
    I feel i have a lot time that is not passing by, but im trying to kepe myself busy with learning new skills, i also got myself a bookcase so i can focus more on reading, I have installed P blockers on all my devices to make it hard enough for me to relapse, there's that guy on Porn free radio, says that we endup relapsing because we don't take care of ourselves or how to express our feelings.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2021
  5. Steveal3aneef1

    Steveal3aneef1 Fapstronaut

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    Today i had some memories of how i was introduced to P for the first time when i was like 12 yr, started by going with bad friends to Internet Cafe, while we wear searching explcit photos I remeber one of them, got his right hand into his pants and started jerking off, I was so innocent back then I did know what the hell he's doing, I got back home shocked form what I saw on the screen, thinking it was a cool thing to do, like i have become a man doing it, turns out it all was cr*p.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2021
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  6. Inspired2chg

    Inspired2chg Fapstronaut

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    Hoping to get another streak started this weekend. Last week has been up and down rebooting wise.
     
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  7. Bro I totally know what you mean and I like to challenge you, I was recently unemployed and I made a new job for myself to find a new job and I was working longer than when I was at my job and was applying for 400 jobs per week - I think you can be extremely pro-active in career search there are many jobs out there but requires energy and tenacity to go after it w/ boldness, if you need some more tips just let me know me happy to share more -

    Also one more note, I would be careful not to identify with your current condition - You are a divine being, powerful soul, you are not an 'unemployed person' - unemployment is a temporary condition that appears to you now, but any moment can change, Our roles is not who we are, I do this too with my job, I feel like a failure when I can't sell one day and I'm looking to change this.
     

  8. Tons of respect to you brother - I know how much humility and courage it takes to go through this and come clean and be transparent, I can fully understand how this can happen as I had close calls recently myself as I shared.

    Never the less you demonstrated your honor and leadership even more by this post and you the 700day+ is an experience and achievement that will never leave your mind/soul and even this 'set back' is actually a step forward to developing perseverance.

    Saint Paul puts its this way, "blessed is the man who perseveres, when you are tested of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must finish its work, so you are mature and complete, not lacking anything"

    Bhagavadgita the great Indian sacred book says, no effort on the path to God-realization ever goes to waste.
     
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  9. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Fap or nofap. Just got done killing myself at the gym. Love that relaxed don't give a fuck feeling that comes after a hard workout at the gym.
     
  10. CraftyDad

    CraftyDad Fapstronaut

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    Quick update after just a couple of days. The week-end has actually been good: I went running, I meditated, I read, and most importantly I spent a lot of time with my kids just being present in the moment.

    One common pattern in my relapses has been feeling like I'm worthless. I recently started a new job after being unemployed a few months, and that's not helping, but I also noticed a strong correlation between being unhappy (which leads to relapses) and spending a lot of time on youtube. Youtube has been an incredible source of inspiration for many topics for me, but I have also noticed that the exposure to so many things I want to do but never end up doing diminishes my sense of self-worth. So I decided to block youtube on all my devices for a month, and see how that helps.
     
  11. Steveal3aneef1

    Steveal3aneef1 Fapstronaut

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    Every night social media on my devices get blocked after 10:30 in case I wake up and wanted to act out, you can use the same method if that pattern to relapse using youtube emerges at a specific time. besides Blockers, in general, are important during recovery, they also save you from unnecessary suffering.
     
  12. movin'onup

    movin'onup Fapstronaut

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    had a dream last night that i found a magazine with naughty photos.....i was pretty impressed because i think that means i'm making progress, but later in the day i've been having the urge again to look at old p that i haven't looked at in years. so i think i'm on that slippery slope. it's been a few weeks for me as part of this group......
     
  13. You can try fasting for a day or even half a day to discipline the mind back to its place, or cold showers and if the possible practice meditation and be mindful of what your thinking, and replace those thoughts with thoughts of love, forgiveness and gratitude
     
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  14. movin'onup

    movin'onup Fapstronaut

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    thank you - i take BP meds as well - do you think people who abstain from PMO can also diminish their need for meds?
     
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  15. movin'onup

    movin'onup Fapstronaut

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    500+ days?! Holy Smokes!
     
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  16. boyrose

    boyrose Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes I think public humiliation is the way to go. Go on a date, not being able to make great eye contact, being uncomfortable with the social situation itself. Maybe little ED to top the night off would wake me up.

    I had a goal set October 1st for dating. But I find myself procrastinating and not really effectively changing myself for the better. So I’m thinking of just jumping into the dating game like I currently am, humiliate myself a little. That might wake me up and help me find my reason of why I’m trying to do nofap.
     
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  17. Steveal3aneef1

    Steveal3aneef1 Fapstronaut

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    Just a quick tip, sleep whenever you get the chance.
    Getting enough sleeping hours during the day can boost your mood and make you feel better in general, besides, recovery process is exhausting to brain.
     
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  18. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    That’s where I am this last week. I have a deep resentment about someone at work getting a promotion and me not being eligible even though I consistently outperform that person. This resentment destroys me. I’m good for a few weeks at treating it but I get caught up in it over and over again. And each time it makes me miserable to the point of not giving an eff about things and relapsing.
     
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  19. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I would focus on you and loving yourself through your actions before going to dating. Dating is really hard and it makes recovery from PMO harder.
     
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  20. Steveal3aneef1

    Steveal3aneef1 Fapstronaut

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    Well, I believe focusing more on your well-being and self development is more important, don't just relapse because you are having hard time at work, think forward of the great benefits of the turn you took in life to become a better version of yourself . However you might also be open to your superiors (if they are supportive and encourage employees feedback) and ask why haven't they promoted you instead.
     
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