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35 and older accountability, Group 2

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. Bbman

    Bbman Fapstronaut

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    Hi all, just joining. I'm 34 (but turning 35 in September). A married dad with 2 kids. I've rebooted many times before and even had streaks of multiple years. Things have been slipping up slowly for me. No big binges or anything, but gradually falling back into the habit of pmo. I need to take control. Just finishing up day 2. Glad to be a part of this group.
     
  2. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Today I have 1 week. What has helped:
    Being honest with my wife about where I’m at.
    Meditating daily.
    Spending more time with my wife.
    Eating more food and getting dopamine from that.
    Reminding myself that porn affects my marriage and my energy.
    When I share intimately with my wife about our lives, I feel more connected with her and feel better overall. That makes it harder to want to use porn.

    I start new job in two weeks. Will be stressful but I’m excited for the change.
     
  3. sjindjin

    sjindjin Fapstronaut

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    Hi all, weekly check in here. Glad to report I still have not given in to P or Psubs so going strong from that perspective. However, as days turn to weeks, it's still challenging to deal with the pressure to go look for something that bubbles up every few days, in particular because not looking for porn does not resolve that pressure so I just kind of have to ride it out. Weirdly, that kind of pressure seems to be almost non-sexual in itself, it seems to me to be more of a kind of searching for stimulation by a tired mind. Continued vigilance required as I have in the past made it to around 4 weeks without any Psubs but not much beyond.
     
    persona2903, ANewFocus and InnerMan like this.
  4. TomMeier

    TomMeier Fapstronaut

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    persona2903 and ANewFocus like this.
  5. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    We warmly welcome @Bbman and @TomMeier to our accountability group!
    We hope that together we can go very far fighting against PM and for a full life!

    The ranking on post #1 is up-to-date.
    Remember: Keep your counters updated!
     
    Inspired2chg and ANewFocus like this.
  6. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Inspired2chg and ANewFocus like this.
  7. Bbman

    Bbman Fapstronaut

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    Day 8. Feeling good. Can already feel much physically closer to my wife.
     
  8. InnerMan

    InnerMan Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, relapsed today after a solid 203 day streak. Failure is feedback. The journey continues!
     
    Inspired2chg likes this.
  9. Bbman

    Bbman Fapstronaut

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    How did it play out? What were the triggers?
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  10. InnerMan

    InnerMan Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, it was a lot of things chipping away at my will over time. The previous evening, I was in a state of fatigue, stress and agitation, and just typed out some naughty words without pressing enter. But it was like a dress rehearsal because the next night, I felt the same way and this time it was like I was primed to press enter, and I did.

    But here's the critical mistake I made. In my own journal, I typed something out that I knew I had to do to avoid a relapse, and I didn't do it. Check out what I wrote:

    "Based on yesterday's experience, it's clear that today, if I want to keep my streak I'm going to have to do the one thing I know to be most effective when it comes to regaining my focus - I need to be alone in nature for some time, rain or shine. And for some time, I mean as long as necessary. There, deep in a forest somewhere, I will quiet my mind and gently redirect it to my highest aims."

    I believe that if I did what I wrote above, I would not have relapsed. It was avoidable. Live and learn.
     
  11. Inspired2chg

    Inspired2chg Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys. Checking in. I’m in a relationship now. This is my first real one in a while, so it has helped out a lot. It’s not perfect, but after being single for so long, I’m so happy.
     
    persona2903 and Bbman like this.
  12. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations! I wish you much joy, happiness and freedom from PM.
     
    Inspired2chg likes this.
  13. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I return from vacation today. I have had great intimacy with the wife and am almost at two weeks clean for the first time in probably six months. My dopamine will drop now that vacation is over (bye bye tasty food) and Monday I start a job at a new company for the first time in 10 years. Lots of calmness and peace for me. Uncertainty ahead. I want to stay PM free. The intimacy with my wife has been wonderful. I still have a hard time with O but glad to not have have ED much.
     
    persona2903 and InnerMan like this.
  14. Bbman

    Bbman Fapstronaut

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    Day 14 down. Was looking at my phone on the John, had an urge to start looking at pics etc., got on nofap and curbed that urge.
     
    persona2903 and ANewFocus like this.
  15. TomMeier

    TomMeier Fapstronaut

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    Was a difficult week for me. Used to chat endlessly in dating apps as an alternative for watching porn. This has been going on since a year.

    Finally, I had enough courage to delete my dating-app account yesterday, despite the inner voice has been telling me ever since :" you never going to find someone - you'll be alone for the rest of your life if you don't use this dating app!". Well, scrue you! Then I am going to be alone. But I am not going to waste any longer my time being horny and endlessly scrolling through erotic hot pics. Period.
     
    persona2903 and ANewFocus like this.
  16. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    That’s an awesome move!
     
  17. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Great choice. I met my wife my wife through a dating app, but it’s so rare now. It was before I was in recovery. I couldn’t imagine doing recovery in a dating app without being triggered by the women.
     
    TomMeier and persona2903 like this.
  18. nonfap

    nonfap Fapstronaut

    Hello everyone... my latest update...

    I think I had almost 30 days of no PMO... then on Saturday I think I had kind of a P sub binge and MO. Then Monday PMO and today (Tuesday) a PMO.

    I decided to reset my counter with only the goal as only no P.

    I'll try to go into more detail in my journal soon.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  19. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Celebrate the 30 days and move forward today. You have made so much progress.
     
    nonfap likes this.
  20. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing! When I read the triggers and the situations that you are relating, I see myself. Talking, revealing our feelings and identifying with the other are important steps in progress ... even when our path has setbacks and stumbles.
    Greetings and encouragement to continue!
     
    ANewFocus likes this.

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