35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Thank you very much @artifact for this award! It is an encouragement to continue forward and much more valuable than an Oscar for me! I take this opportunity to thank you for your dedication, for taking care of both the group and us ... you are a fundamental factor in our recovery! You are a very generous and altruistic person! I am really grateful for your work and I believe that this sowing that you are doing in the lives of others will end a great harvest for your own life.
     
  2. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    GottaBFree and Timber like this.
  3. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Checking in. Counter hitting 3 in a couple hours. Focused on getting through tonight smartly.

    I stayed up late and had an early morning. Hopefully I’ll be smart and go to bed earlier tonight, just cause I’m tired if nothing else lol.
     
    NICEDUDE and discovery like this.
  4. crazyaf

    crazyaf Fapstronaut

    Had a reset due to problems in other areas of my life. Need to stop making it an excuse.

    Day 2 today
     
  5. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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    Fumbling too now @artifact never have a problem during the week, always the weekend....
     
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  6. Rebooter13

    Rebooter13 Fapstronaut

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  7. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    this is a good place to start thinking about why PMO shows up when you’re stressed!
     
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  8. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    So, it’s day two hundred and something for me. I have been doing fine. I had to dig a bit deeper a couple of weeks ago and started a thread called “my dirty little secrets” where I wrote about practicing auto fellatio (this is no typo) and how it messed me up. It took a long time for me to get the courage to write about it.

    I came to a realization that there is no way back for me either to P or to M. I am deeply selfish and entitled. I have put pleasure above all else for so long. I’m only now waking up to it, and it took months and months of abstinence to get here.

    I heard someone say that it takes a pretty messed up person to become a monk. Maybe it takes a really messed up person to become a committed Fapstronaut?
     
  9. artifact

    artifact Fapstronaut

    Last edited: Feb 12, 2020
    bold0101, discovery, NICEDUDE and 2 others like this.
  10. artifact

    artifact Fapstronaut

    Oops, sorry @discovery. I realized you already have your 90 day trophy. Still, it is a great milestone the second time around and probably not that much easier. (I hope to find out for myself in 87 days.)
     
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  11. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Nothing “new” here but it strikes me more deeply now.

    I know I’m on a 1 way road to a better life. No matter what it takes it will be worth it.

    I used to think during slow sex times it was ok to “supplement” on my own and it was a “need”.

    Total crap.

    I have had some rough patches recently with PM but overall I’m getting further away from PM.

    PM ruins everything with a sex life.

    Examples:
    I diddnt realize I had some PIED... wife surprises me in a fun way and I go erect right away now. I used to think it took some foreplay to get me going too... nope. Mild PIED I thought was normal aging.

    I don’t have other thoughts about what is sexy clouding the moment now - it’s all “in the moment” and I’m able to appreciate that actual sexiness and closeness of the moment now. I always tried to avoid fantasy during sex but even so it clouded the moment more than I ever appreciated.

    When I’m fapping more I’m not as nice my wife has said. She says it’s when we are not having sex for whatever reason. I often get grumpy before I get into PM and I thought it was lack of sex but I now know it was PM and a cycle of getting ready to step into the pit with regularity.

    I will no longer allow a lie that “it’s not that bad” or “I’m just helping out” or “it’s her fault anyway” ever to sink in my mind and self poison it.

    I know some are on hard mode waiting to be ready for a relationship. Some of us have a chance of living in a sexless relationship for a long time. Some of us are in relationships. Some may be planning on lifelong monk mode. Whatever the case, this fight we are in is worth it.

    Avoiding PM isn’t about avoiding negative side effects. Avoiding PM is about living the good life. Anything else is a lie.

    My wife deserves better. I deserve better. No more PM whatever it takes!!!
     
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  12. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    It takes a while to peel things back and start to see things for what they are for sure.

    Lots of self deception and delusion when it comes to PM just like any other addiction I suppose. Probably part of all the crappy “science” surrounding the issue encouraging things a “normal”.

    congrats on the awesome progress, not just the length of the streak (which is also amazing).
     
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  13. Wolf2019

    Wolf2019 Fapstronaut

    5 days BAM! Whatchathinkaboutthat?!
     
  14. Wolf2019

    Wolf2019 Fapstronaut

    Thanks for being so honest and transparent. There is a simple cure to this one: overeat. With a nice spare tire around your waist, you'll never find yourself in that ...um...position...again. ; )
     
    Timber likes this.
  15. Rebooter13

    Rebooter13 Fapstronaut

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    We shouldn't leave it like that , let's set a realistic goal to help as keep focused to start with and we can extend it later if we reach it.
    Maybe 15 days for example or whatever you suggest guys.
     
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  16. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    I’m just shooting for becoming who I want to be until this evening. I’m onboard until then.

    This evening I’ll be willing to commit to tomorrow morning lol.
     
    discovery likes this.
  17. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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  18. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

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    Oh man.. and here I got all excited cuz I thought you meant there would be a second trophy :emoji_confounded:

    lol no worries. I would say it's been a little easier this time around, mainly because the success was based on strategy more than willpower. I have to admit though that since the 'incident' I wrote about, the thoughts have been creeping in about 'how nice it would be' to log into my favorite tube site, just for old times sake. Reminds me of Bilbo asking Frodo at the end of LOTR if he still had the ring. When Frodo says it's been destroyed, Bilbo says something like 'what a shame. I would have liked to have held it again' :emoji_expressionless:
     
  19. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

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  20. Raskolnikov II

    Raskolnikov II Fapstronaut

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    Hey all, Just getting home after being gone for a week. Read through the last few pages of posts and we've got some good things going on - some great streaks. Keep it up all. But regardless of where we are personally, we all have to get through each day. That 9 month sash is awesome btw
     

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