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Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.
Me too JJ_Kino.
I have added you to the waiting list. There are several people ahead of you on the list, so it will be a couple of months before we have an opening for you.
@zhuye we have an opening for you in our group. Please reply to this comment if you are still interested in joining.
It's amazing how clear can my mind be after one week since my last relapse.
The first 2 days after that (i had 3-4 of them in a raw in just a few days) were like hell , i was in bad mood , feeling bored and i couldn't get pleasure from anything.
But the last 2-3 days that mood switched and i swear, today while i was working out i could feel a pleassureable buzz in my head!
I can't describe it better , and i know maybe it was a placebo but it was feeling really good.
I came to the decision that i need to change the way i think about PM.I was too hursh with myself everytime i was relapsing.
My focus was too much on the fact that i relapsed and that was wrong.I believe i should see it different from now on, thinking that i relapsed but i relapsed after 10 days or 1 week something which,believe it or not, was very difficult for me to do a few months back.
Another thing i noticed is that i became persistence with nofap in a negative way , thinking about that all day and everytime i was failing it was getting worst, ruinning my mood.
That needs to be changed.Nofap is a way out not a negative competition with myself.
One last thing which i have statted at the past here (but it becomes stronger inside me everyday) is that there are many times in my daily life that i actually feel bored to watch porn.I don't know how the hell that happened , maybe i runned out of material , lol.. but that motivates me to find something else to do.
I have just reset last night. I am looking for a 1:1 accountability partner. I have been working on quitting this porn and masturbation for some time now. I'm 48 years old, have been sober from alcohol and mind altering substances for over 16 years, cigarettes for 15 years and nicotine gum for 2 years. I have been to SA and SLAA, but due to the more general nature of the groups dealing the many manifestations of sex and love addiction, I did not feel like they were specific enough to be of maximum help to me. Meetings could range from people talking about how they kept going back to their ex's, to hooker sprees, to people that just couldn't stop having sex with strangers--oh yeah--and with some porn addicted people as well. They did not deal specifically with porn addiction enough. Also if anyone is aware of meetings like SA or SLAA but that are focused specifically on porn and masturbation addiction, please let me know.
Checking in. 79 days today!! 13 more days until I beat my prior record. Now as it was then-it gets harder as it gets easier. Hang in there bro’s, stay strong!
This one is for a group that’s not intensive at all. It’s a more self directed kind of deal with support for each other a little.
I’ve seen a few people say they had good luck with therapists.
I don't mean a therapist as much as a cosponsor type situation.
Checking in. Still here, still going. Great to see the group so active.
Checkin in guys I've passed one week too after a 67 days streak that was a painful hit! But God has been good to me. I'm gonna keep trying hopefully I'll improve more and more until one day at a time I'll overcome this.
God bless you guys!
Intense family drama but I am still holding strong. Honestly it has not been a temptation to act out during this time. I have been dealing with a lot of intense anger the last few days and the thought of acting out just makes me madder; it's not attractive. Also @discovery's insight about separating P and M and considering M a possibility of last resort has actually helped quite a bit, psychologically. It makes it feel like the problem is more manageable. Pushing forward to two weeks, which is usually kind of a maximum limit for me in abstinence.
If someone thing his addiction is more into P then definitely M alone could help.
Actually i think doing M using you imgination instead of a sceen could help rewire your brain.We all did that when we were teens and it was much better.
I have read about people using that method both here and on reddit.
Some people who are into really weird P the first days when they first try NoFap watch, let's just say more vanilla P, to help their mind rewire to more normal situations when it comes to sex.
At the end of the day we are all different and we are following our own path.
Be carefull though because situations like that coulp be tricky.
Checking in day 6
Good insights, thanks! So far for the past 12 days I haven't done either P or M. One thing that helps me is to think of M as a childish or even animal behavior. I think of it as a self-soothing behavior like rocking oneself clutching a pillow or like a monkey in a cage that feels nervous and plays with itself in front of laughing spectators. Then I tell myself I am not a child or an animal and I can calm myself down without resorting to such primitive and ineffective means of security.
Sometimes i think how people i love would react if they were watching me watching P while some other times i imagine myself spectating me from a 3rd person view and that's even more disgusting but you my friend just took it to the next level
That's preaty good actually
Happy to hear that Wolf. You have gone 12 days before without PMO. The big leap forward will be when the streak breaks, and is done without the screen. You can do it.
Checking in. Not happy with my 3 lousy days but it's better than nothing. Got to remember to keep nofap the most important thing in my life and not let the pressures of life push me past my limits.
Day 237. Work is very stressful and busy. I deal with social relationships and it takes a toll. I am going on vacation in a couple of months but desperately need it now.
Desire for P and M are probably hovering at 1-2 out of ten. I’ve ramped you cold showers (in the dead of winter), which I think is a contributor. I have been genuinely enjoying my family time and guard it jealously. Oh, and I have been having trippy dreams that I haven’t experienced in years.
I feel the world around me has become much less dull, but this does mean that my lows are LOW, and my highs are HIGH. I’ll take it over PMO.
I ran across an idea somewhere that maybe we should think of PMO more like eating junk food than committing a crime. So eating potato chips is not good for us. We need to make healthier choices. Let's do this so we can live our best life. However, we can't really make "not" doing something a fulfilling goal. Instead, as we stop eating junk food we start learning to enjoy other kinds of foods that are better for us, we work out, we start to enjoy the higher level of energy and feeling better about ourselves. You already know all this. I was just thinking about how hard it is to make a basically "negative" goal the top priority.