35 and Older Accountability Group

I have read the rules and would like to join this group

 

I’m working on Day 2 today.

I’m starting to hit mentally my previous realizations. They are coming back quickly and I’m grateful for that.

The main realization is that nofap is not a goal in and of itself. It can’t be and it won’t satisfy me apart from making me feel I have the will power not to PMO. Big. Effing. Deal.

so why do I do it? After a month of senseless wanking I remembered: I do it because it enables me to live sacrificially. By this I mean living to bring up the best in others, which is only possible if my SELF takes the back seat. I am having difficulty articulating this point because it is highly personal and highly religious. It is essentially the opposite of taking an eye for an eye, something that breaks the natural flow of cause and effect in human relationships. I think most inspiring characters in greatest pieces of literature embody this model. I think Matthew chapter 5 that I keep piping on about is based on this principle.

When I PMO, my focus is on how to gratify myself when there’s pressure and I feel uncomfortable. But pressures arise precisely when I am challenged to put the SELF in the back seat. If I pursue pleasure instead, it’s over, the magic is gone.

This is why I take the root of NOFAP. I’m so grateful for remembering this.

 

March was a bad month for me and another wake up call. I couldn't seem to get on track (we all know how that goes) but I've turned it around so far for April. I feel like I have some strength back and a bit of calmness. Can't see into the future but I know much of it will be decided by the present.

 

First book I though of when I read this was "A Tale of Two Cites"

 

Nice work man. I think that's a sign that your brain is beginning to heal and normalize. Keep it going.

 

Day 11 check in...(I’m planning to check in good bad or ugly)

Trying to keep the urgency to leave PM behind. I think good habits are protection.

If I swim in a sewer I’ll swallow crap sometimes and you are what you eat lol.

 

First full day. The beginning is the easy part, but I'm committed.

 

Working on day 3. Slight urges but nothing crazy. Trying to get into the majesty of the Easter weekend... where I come from this holiday is bigger than Christmas!

 

Bad day. Had a few good days but lost 3 hours to PMO today. And chatrooms.
Going to make the rest of the day good.

 

It’s tough to get started. I’ve noticed that resetting your counter on the site ASAP helps and posting is great. It’s been taking me a few time to get restarted - enough that the group is probably really sick of me haha. Doesn’t matter. We are here to get better and whatever works.
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Day 12 check in. I’ve started giving myself the pep talks about wanting to be PM free. You know the talks I’m sure...

“I don’t fap anymore. It’s just not something I do. I feel worse afterwards and it messes with chemistry in my brain. I want to be healthy and live a good life, so I don’t fap.”

I’m trying to not get overconfident or believe the rules don’t apply anymore. I don’t really have a full set of rules, but when I’m paying attention to what I need to do to stay PM free I know what they are haha.

 

Working on day 4!

all is well... enjoying the day with my eldest. He is a preschooler and everything he says is hilarious!

no urges!

 

Day 13 Check in... slept in yesterday. It’s a skill I had lost but have required. Last night I couldn’t fall asleep until 430. I could feel my brain a couple of times going.... “Aw yeah.... LETS DO THIS!!!” But I was like nah. I read and started working on a long forgotten hobby. Tired but not at all grouchy with the kids on Easter. Way worth it to leave PM behind.

I’m ahead of where I was in other streaks. I like my focus and I’m feeling clear minded already. I just need to remind myself this is important and I never have small slip ups. It’s simple on the daily stuff.

I also need to be ready for what I call “storm days”. I’m still not sure how to get through those. They have ended some of my shorter streaks and what I considered my long ones last year (61 days was the longest - long for me lol). It’s time to figure out storms too will pass and leave PM behind!

 

Good stuff. https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/05/world/old-hobbies-quarantine-coronavirus-wellness-trnd/index.html

 

Today was much better. Had a great Sunday with my family doing things I wanted to do. Thankful for today.

 

Good time of day to you!

I’m working on day 5. My wife opened up yesterday about how much this uncertainty and social distancing is affecting her mental health. She needs her social connections but isn’t getting them nearly to the same degree and is feeling exhausted and empty. She feels like she is failing our kids.

it was one of those hard conversations that take a lot of out you. The temptation to “fuel up” on PMO quickly is definitely present, but I know it does not fulfill me, but just makes me forget. I’m not taking the pleasure pill today.

stay strong, friends!

 

I have read the rules and would like to join this group.

Made it through my 1st week with no PM. Seeking a village to support me through this.

 

14 days in and feeling good.

 

Almost 2 strong weeks now. I feel good and have not had too many strong urges. It's always nice to have some easier periods of time - it makes me feel like my brain is healing, but I know there will still be plenty of tough days ahead. GottaBfree calls them "storm days" which seems fitting to me. Stay at it guys.