35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. David2018

    David2018 Fapstronaut

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    It really is Day 0 when you relapse. It's how many days you completed. But, if you think of it in hours, it can make you feel better on that day. I'm on Day 0 but I'm 21 hours in so I'm almost up to 1.
    It's like a baby. It's 0 years old so you can't months. Well, I'm a PMO baby right now at 21 hours.
     
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  2. John Call

    John Call Fapstronaut

    Day 31
    Passing the 30 days is a huge success for me, i'm feeling great today, even that until yesterday i was suffering and yesterday i was gonna lose it by watching P to the extend that i downloaded a P movie from torrents and after the movie was downloaded i did not watch it but I deleted it and went to sleep,
    The surprise is today, after completing the 30 days and entering the 31 day as if i entered through a magic gate, all my blue balls pain gone all the depression that continued with me until yesterday gone, I'm very energetic and happy, i spoke with my wife after work about my work which I usually never do, i went to swim and i swam 350 meters after work, and i really feel I'm in a great shape.
     
  3. Steve1984

    Steve1984 Fapstronaut

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  4. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree David. Right now I'm at 23 hours, lol.
     
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  5. That's great man. Keep Going
     
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  6. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
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    Fell off again. Good and proper.

    Ah well, keep trying eh? :)
     
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  7. David2018

    David2018 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe it should go by minutes. You were at 1380!
     
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  8. David2018

    David2018 Fapstronaut

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    I'm at 12 hours. 8 of those were sleeping.
     
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  9. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    Still early days for me but I had a small storm last night, which I weathered, thankfully.

    I have been thinking a lot about compiling a list of triggers and ways of dealing with those triggers. Well, I am not really “thinking about.” After 18 months of long (I’ve got some medals to show for It here :)) and short streaks, this list list started to form all by itself and I feel I need to get it out of my head. Please bear with me or just ignore the post.

    1. I feel slighted. This is particularly the case when I feel unjustly treated by my wife. If this is how I feel, I remind myself that if I PMO, I reduce my chances of resolving the problem like a grown-up. It’s like going for a bar of chocolate or a stiff drink when you’re stressed. This is not healthy coping.

    2. I feel like my self esteem is shot. There may be many reasons for it. If I PMO, my stuttering comes back (I used to stutter a lot) and I feel unable to deal with the situation that creates this unpleasant tension. I sleep on it, exercise, etc

    3. I feel numb... this one is easy. PMO keeps me numb. It doesn’t help. Like Raskolnikov II said, go do something creative instead.

    4. I feel horny. I have struggled with this one for a while until I read “my stroke of insight”. The book talks about the biology of various impulses and how our brains adopt to those impulses. The nature of a physical impulse is such that whatever hormone is generated, it floods us for 90 seconds. That’s it. After 90 seconds what we do with it is up to us. Typically, our brains create circuits based on our previous responses to those hormones The goal here is not to change your biology, but your responses to sexual arousal. We already have circuits that tell us not to act on being sexually aroused! If you get it in public, you dont immediately masturbate right then and there. You just observe it and let it go. Later you might want to M based on the memory only but the M session doesn’t always reproduce the same feeling. That’s because the physiological reaction is gone. You missed the train. So, what to do here? I remind myself that if I just passively observe this feeling for 90 seconds, it will pass. I don’t have to do anything.

    5. fuck it, I’m PMOing. See #3 and #4. If I resist this one, I make it easier for myself to resist the next time. This is where accountability comes in. Get here and write a note before I do anything else.
     
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  10. Checking in...still going on my streak. Feeling more horny day by day and seem to be edging more...makes me think I need to ejaculate...what do people think? I really want to do 90 days with no O as well as P and mostly no M but finding that one a little hard
     
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  11. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 2 - decided to declare a reset after a 35 day streak. No P involved, it was kinda sorta a chaser effect...no need to go into details. The wife has been very frisky this last week and that has brought back a level of sexual energy that I haven't felt in about a year and frankly re-connects me back to PMO days. Weird. For my entire life even when I was regularly intimate in a relationship that never ever stopped my PMO habit. So I guess I need to figure out how to have an active sex life with the wife and not allow that to fuel my PMO addiction. Not sure right now how to go about that separation process.
     
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  12. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    this depends entirely on what you are trying to accomplish! If you want to see what happens at 90 days, sounds like you need to stick this out. If you want to have a mad PMO session, you know what to do.

    If you are trying to get to 90 days, Have you started having nocturnal emissions yet? They often happen to me around day 35-40. If you haven’t yet, it will happen and things will be easier afterwards.

    Also, how’s your mood? Low? Flat?

    Why are you doing the 90 Day challenge?
     
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  13. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    holy crap! What’s going on in your life? Planning to separate but wife doesn’t know? Trying to control your sexual drive? That’s a lot on your plate! This is the space to share what’s going on. It might help!
     
  14. Yes, it is day one you are working on but your counter will say 0 until you complete a full 24 hours.
     
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  15. I know you will get back in your groove soon. Don't be too hard on yourself.
     
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  16. It sounds to me like he wants to have relations with his wife without falling back into the PM habit, in other words separate the two, not separate from his wife.
     
  17. I am trying to rid myself of Porn that is what I'm trying to accomplish

    I'm also noticing that I have a lot more energy naturally as a result of PMO...I want get to 90 days. Really I want a girlfriend and a natural loving sex life. This is why I'm doing PMO as I haven't had a proper relationship in a long long time and I want it..I feel that PMO takes me further away from this goal

    No I haven't had any nocturnal emissions yet....I can feel that I want to ejaculate and as such seem to be touching myself more...which I can see can lead me back to P use but at the moment I've come so far with 44 days that I just don't want to ruin my streak...and I want to be rid of P

    Mood is currently fairly flat but I am trying to taper off medication which is affecting me
     
  18. emanuel_free

    emanuel_free Fapstronaut

    Don't be hard on yourself. Next time you'll do it 10x better!!

    Let's keep moving forward I'll take the flag, but we are together on this war! Let's win this!
     
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  19. emanuel_free

    emanuel_free Fapstronaut

    This is my case too!! Good to read from you again! And it's good to know that you're still on the road!!
     
  20. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    You are in the middle of one of the biggest adjustments in your life. Your body is learning to get rid of semen without M. Your body will figure out what to do with those 10lbs balls. Of course, it is used to being “helped” by you, so the urge to continue with M is huge. This is the time to be vigilant. If you M without P, it won’t be the end of the world but sooner or later you will come up against the same problem.

    good luck to you! I hope to get where you are too! I haven’t had much success with long streaks lately.
     
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