35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. HANG IN THERE!!
     
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  2. Just checking in...I'm doing well and feeling strong. Currently no thoughts of P or M at all...funny thing is I've started seeing a woman and having actual sex! Something which I've not done much of in a while...having actual sex is great and probably playing a big role in my not wanting to look at P or touch myself for M and O. Let's see how it progresses....
     
    magvor, JJ_Kino, Merry Terry and 3 others like this.
  3. Rebooter13

    Rebooter13 Fapstronaut

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    I see and i agree, sometimes it's good to remind yourself the bad effects as well.
    If you like meditation here is a nice audio file i found on youtube.I think you will like it and it is very close to what you are doing.If you want something shorter you can check the other videos of this channel which are similar to this but i would suggest to start with this.

     
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  4. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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    Yup - I'm in!
     
  5. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 15 - I'm feeling lost and without direction. My attention span problem is in high gear. Can't stay focused on task for more than a minute or two and this is when my mind defaults to going to a P site. I've got to try to get work done so I'm at a computer, otherwise I would just go somewhere and leave the internet connection far away. Maybe just hit the deck for ten pushups every time the mind wanders? Just watched a vid about challenges around day 7 and 14 due testosterone levels. That would explain a lot about my timelines. Struggling these last few days.
     
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  6. tigate

    tigate Fapstronaut

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    @tonyk1982 , kindly talk more about the challenges you had "around day 7 and 14 due testosterone levels". Thanks in advance.
     
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  7. Trying a new approach. I became a paying member of a personals site. Maybe if I start dating it will focus my energy away from P and M. This will be a big change for me, I've been living alone for many years.
     
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  8. Thanks for that link. I'm a big fan of this kind of thing (meditation, self-hypnosis, affirmations, etc.).
     
  9. Congrats, I have started considering this approach, and getting more active with internet dating. We'll see how it goes.
     
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  10. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    Alright, @artifact, @GottaBFree and @Circleinthesquare let’s roll!

    Day 1 of 31. Things look good so far, but that may be because I just got up.

    no urges to P or M.

    I have cut on my social media use a couple of weeks ago to about 2-3 minutes a day. Doing 0 minutes shouldn’t be a problem.

    So far, no “need” to drink or eat junk. I had a slice of chocolate cake and a beer yesterday to get carry me through the next few weeks :))

    good luck!
     
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  11. Merry Terry

    Merry Terry Fapstronaut

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    I've just quickly scrolled through this now, but I think this is indeed close to what I'm trying to do: resetting my brain so that it no longer connects the idea of porn with the idea of pleasure, but instead with the idea of frustration and disappointment. I'm definitely gonna try this meditation one of these days, thanks for the link!
     
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  12. Merry Terry

    Merry Terry Fapstronaut

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    That's a cool idea! I was already planning to have a P-free October for sure, but it's nice to have another month without alcohol - I did that in January too. I've already broke the social media thing today, but I definitely want to cut down on that too. So I'm in!
     
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  13. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    For me it is an internal physical feeling of tension, like I can't relax, an overall bodily feeling that even strenuous exercise doesn't resolve. The physical feeling then starts bothering me mentally - and the urge to engage in my lifelong habit of PMO to find relief starts spinning in my mind and demanding attention. Before I know it I can't concentrate worth a damn on any worthwhile task. Being of aware of these potential trouble times can at least prepare us to have our toolkit of coping skills at the ready. Today I think I am on day 16 or 17, and interestingly when I woke up this morning my body felt more calm, so maybe this has passed for me. I hope this explanation is helpful for you.
     
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  14. The more, the merrier!
     
  15. Hi all yesterday I fell badly of the ladder after 22 days...was feeling low and stressed and went back to P for comfort and distraction. I binged a lot and M a lot and at the end of the day felt pretty terrible. So I am starting afresh with a new streak and commitment to be free of the trap of P. thanks
     
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  16. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    Great, @Merry Terry!
    I’m at day 2 of 31. It’s smooth sailing so far.

    I’m working on my mantra and I actually noticed I am repeating it under my breath all the time without trying. It has replaced “I hate my life” which I used to whisper whenever I made a mistake or had to deal with a challenge. Now I repeat, “I’m a living sacrifice holy and pleasing to God.” I am discovering what that means and it’s blowing my mind. For starters, it means that I do things consciously. That in itself makes me stop and think about my actions while I am doing them. It’s a cool space to be in.

    It is also a great reminder that I am getting a lot for free flowing to me and I am just giving back to God. I won’t bore my non-religious nofappers too much but just think about this: I am feeding my toddler as a giving back to God. I recognize God in him and I am nourishing that. Any activity can be transformed like this.


    Anyway, i am either having a breakdown or a breakthrough. We will see which one. :)
     
  17. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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    @artifact, @GottaBFree @Merry Terry So day 2 of October has been conquered and although tiny urges are jumping in to my mind, I am in too good a place at the moment to let it bother me. I've been eating better over the last 3/4 weeks, have lost 1/2 a stone and feel more energised as well. One step, one hour, one day at a time everyone.
     
  18. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    This negative mantra thing is real. I have had lots of those and when this circumstance changes I'd keep saying the old one for years. I had a horrible 1st job after college and would say to myself "this sucks I want a new job". Got promoted into jobs with 2 hours of work a day, unlimited expense accounts, and travel like a CEO. I'd still say it to myself for years lol. (I was a dumb ass and wanted "more" and have been in hard working jobs since for the same pay that doesn't keep up with inflation lol ).

    I'm not in a good place the moment I think that stuff, so it's an interesting idea you guys are working on to make it a positive statement.

    Day 1.5 down. I've been in a really good place - no thoughts in the wrong direction, no desire for PM at all. This is good but I think when I'm rolling like this storms shock me, so I'm going to try to stay extra vigilant this month.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2020
  19. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Signed up for streaming for football. Got lots of "free premium" channels and it's trying to set off a storm. It's an old trigger I haven't seen for a while but it's why I don't like internet filters. When I don't have access to something and becomes available I feel a pull.

    I cancelled the channels but they will be available for the month weather I like it or not. They are free for the month they are still there.

    Funny cause I have open internet access and always do. It's odd that the old habits call strong on something dumb like that.

    And it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Logged in here and bored myself so quickly I'm good. Had been 0/10 in the danger zone, shot up to 6/10 and now back down to 3/10.

    Going to bed and now day 2 in October is in the books.
     
  20. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

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    10 days, woo hoo!! Cabo Verde here I come!

     
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