35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
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    For me, resets are becoming easier to deal with - that's very much due to this group. The biggest thing for me was letting go of the feelings of guilt, shame and self-loathing that accompany a reset. I've found that if I allow myself to wallow in self pity, my reset will turn into a full-on relapse which can last several days or longer. On the other hand, if I take the view that "well, that happened. It's disappointing and I lost my streak, but let's go again," then I'm in a better position to start a good streak.

    In my experience, urges come in cycles, or waves, and the nature of them changes over the course of a streak. The first 5 days after a reset are _really_ difficult, with my brain actively working to make me look at P. After that the "overt" urges begin to subside, although it does take a few weeks for them to mostly "go away". I get the occasional "spike" out of nowhere - an almost overwhelming urge to look at P. These have caused me to reset a couple of times, but also become less intense as the streak continues.

    4 - 5 weeks in, the urges are almost gone and "keeping going" becomes more insidious - it's almost as if I'm trying to trick myself into a reset. I've caught myself having mental dialogue along the lines of "it won't hurt if you just take a look at this for a minute...," "remember these things?" It's a bit like I'm playing mind games with myself. Challenging, but not insurmountable.

    After about 8 weeks, I've found that there's a sort of background desire/want, which just keeps growing. Eventually, I can almost hear it. So far, I haven't managed to beat that.


    I haven't yet worked out whether checking in here every couple of days is the right thing to do, or if it reminds me of the addiction. During my first streak I was on here most days, either reading or posting, and I found that to be very helpful. This current streak, I'm taking a different approach - coming to the board when I need support or to check in, but staying away otherwise. Both approaches seem to work, I'm just not sure if one is better than the other.
     
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  2. Adam123

    Adam123 Fapstronaut

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    are you on a full reboot PMO
     
  3. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
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    PM, not PMO.
     
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  4. Adam123

    Adam123 Fapstronaut

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    I can relate a lot to this post
     
  5. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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    Wednesday check in - started walking for 20 mins every lunch hour, something to look forwards to and always feel more focussed and alive afterwards.
     
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  6. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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    Thursday check in. Staying focussed...
     
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  7. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
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    Friday check in. Had a small, but unpleasant argument with my wife this morning (about nothing). Trying not to let it affect my state of mind, put it in the past where it belongs and get on with the day.
     
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  8. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    there’s nothing like a self pity jerk off session! :) Whenever I feel the urge to do it (I did yesterday after having a bit of an altercation with my wife) I just think how funny it actually is. It reminds me that the part of me that wants to M is a little boy who is afraid to deal with the real world. The moment I think about it, the urge disappears.

    I am feeling pretty lucky that I managed to get into double digits with little to no urges. It makes me feel hopeful today.
     
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  9. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    Yes. That's what it is. Pitiful indeed. Thank you for the reminder!
     
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  10. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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    friday new start lets get through the w/end
     
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  11. pin

    pin Fapstronaut

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    Hey really need accountability partner. Anyone interested please send me a message. Im struggling with MO. Porn has been weeks since I last viewed.
     
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  12. Amen to that.
     
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  13. JJ_Kino

    JJ_Kino Fapstronaut

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  14. pin

    pin Fapstronaut

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    I reset too, day 5.
     
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  15. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    Almost grabbed my D in the shower. Not today. After that flatlined almost immediately. No urges yet but it seems i can wake them up if i wanted to. Strange. I just dont want to though.

    Still debating January j'off sesh. At least it will be after the holidays so no funky feelings around family.

    And that's what i have to remember. I don't want that post 'jerk-O' gross feeling anymore. Even without P masturbation is just icky. Even if i could do it hands free i would still have to be reminded of what i'm doing.

    There's no escaping the Truth.
    I think i'm really done with this.
    But we'll see.
     
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  16. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    The desire to M is starting to settle inside like an unwanted guest. Well, hello there. I was beginning to think you forgot about me!
     
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  17. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Man, I just can't break free. I desire to run from reality almost nonstop.
     
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  18. Adam123

    Adam123 Fapstronaut

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    Are listening to relaxing asmr videos of women talking similar to meditation on YouTube a type of porn. I have always used it fall off to sleep.
     
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  19. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    That depends on you. For some it is completely non-sensual, but for others it sounds a lot like jerk-off instructions.
     
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  20. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    I have listened to bimbo hypnosis. I do not consider that porn, however, there was a sexual component to it so i had to let it go. I did enjoy it immensely and if it werent for the sexual component i would still be listening today.

    That being said, what you describe does not seem harmful or to be a threat, unless you yourself are seeing it that way. If it disturbs you in any way, then let it go. If it benefits you, keep it. If what you listen to provokes sexual araousal and that is not what you desire, then turn away from it.

    There are many non-sexual meditations available. I myself do enjoy the whispering. So long as there is nothing pertaining to sex i will listen, though i have yet to find or construct something for myself that will not lead me to the path of sin. The search continues.

    Be safe. Be aware of your true feelings and motives.

    I myself have a bad habit of self deception.
     
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