35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    @Nash78 That "chaser effect" can be very strong. I have a big struggle with that and before I learned about it and gained awareness to expect it and stay on guard, it always took me down. My lifelong habit was to always "top off" sex IRL with a solid PMO session, like I had earned a premium experience for myself. Having to uncouple that pattern was really tough and I still get hit hard with a chaser urge up to 3-4 days after the IRL experience. Try to read up on chaser effect and learn how it might work on your psyche and then get your coping skills in place to battle it. After all, most of us are not here to avoid intimacy relations especially if we have a significant other, wife, partner - that is a beautiful part of life. But we do want to stay PMO-free. I've found those IRL experiences way more satisfying since nofap, particularly once I got to over 30 days streak. Stay strong friends!
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2020
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  2. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 83 - been thinking about finding something more productive to do with the free time made available by nofap. I've (re)established some habits like reading books (not bullshit internet crap) and a couple of other hobbies that went by the wayside because my go-to pastime was PMO. What a waste of time, and life, that was. Sometimes I look back and feel so badly about what I might have accomplished over the years had I not been an addict. But I take great satisfaction in being clean TODAY. Whilst I may be on last half-lap of lifespan (after wasting 30+ years on PMO up to this point) every day clean is a better day than the last. My experience of life, especially relationships with family and friends, is so much richer since I am not burdened by having to hide my activities. Being able to have an honest reply when the wife asks what I've been doing when I come up from the basement is a miraculous experience. Stay strong everyone as we approach the holidays.
     
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  3. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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    relapsed this morning - identical to last sunday morning. Just should have got out of bed and got on with the day y'know! Can I use this experience in the future?
     
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  4. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    Can't seem to get going with this streak. Resetting counter as of now.
     
  5. Streak is going ok....feeling stronger and less urges and managing to keep myself bust and distracted. For now at least
     
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  6. Very nice post. It is very nice to be clean and have integrity. I also enjoy the feeling when I can be honest with my wife and have a day or days with nothing to hide. Your words reminded me of that.
     
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  7. Another rough day but I'm hanging in there. I think my addiction beats me up psychologically when I won't give in and tries to undermine my self-confidence. Not today!
     
  8. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys! It’s been a few days since I posted. I noticed that whenever I go into double digits on nofap, my ego goes through the roof and I start posting here a lot. It’s a dumb cycle I am trying to break out of.

    I have had a few hick ups lately after going 2 weeks without PMO. I think for me the trigger is pleasure. I am not stressed, sad nor sometimes even horny. I am just doing it because I have time and think, “what the hell.” I have been on leave from work so there’s time once or twice a week to “indulge,” and I just don’t resist it.

    but I want to live honestly, and this sneaky sh*t just won’t do!
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2020
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  9. Nash78

    Nash78 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks.
     
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  10. Nash78

    Nash78 Fapstronaut

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    Dear all, How do you cope with tough times and depressive episodes and move without fapping? To me, fapping has been a way to destress myself since I started it. Of course, it didn't work that way completely and that's why I am here. I again relapsed recently, after I had rough few days. I didn't think of this until I had sex and that triggered the same memories. Lo and behold, I was going through a really tough time and I started on my old ways of fapping. Even after completing 90 days, shit has come back to haunt me. With the same old tactics, that nothing matters, it's only one time. I am frustrated with my life and now frustrated that I can not completely still say no to it.
     
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  11. Nash78

    Nash78 Fapstronaut

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    I have similar experience. When
    Thanks for the information. I’ll look up for that effect.
     
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  12. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    Still having mild urges and MO sounds like a good idea and I know that's not what i want. Another day.
     
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  13. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    PMO takes up a lot of energy. My lows get much worse if I PMO. These days I find that after a relapse, I get an emotional hangover that lasts a day or two. I don’t feel guilty. I jus feel empty. It may not be the case if I do it once, but I really notice it if I do it 2-3 times in a week. Coming up from that is a good reminder why I want to stay clean for long periods of time.
     
  14. reclaim

    reclaim Fapstronaut

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    Hello comrades, allow me to join this group for support to kick this porn masterbation addiction. Just relapses today and starting at day 0.
     
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  15. Hello reclaim. In order to join the group you will need to read the rules at the beginning of this thread and also activate your counter.
     
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  16. OpenEyedSneeze

    OpenEyedSneeze Fapstronaut

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    Well, day 1 again. Didn't last long since the other day. Last final exam tomorrow and ain't nobody got time for that...
     
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  17. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 87 - holding steady, things have been calm except for a couple of very vivid images that appeared upon awakening one morning. They vanished quickly, no dwelling on the image by my thoughts, or thinking more about P in general. I do think my brain is re-wiring a bit. In the past, such images would establish a new trail of thought upon which I would hike down creating lots of nasty scenery for myself and generating the subsequent urges. Perhaps the mindful meditations I have been listening to is helping to create new pathways for my addict brain that do not lead to darkness. Actually this is pretty amazing - I never imagined what a (working on it - not done yet) PMO-free mind would feel like. And I must always make this point - how I relate to my family especially wife has never been better. The feeling of inner calm allows me to interact in a manner of which I am proud - kind, thoughtful, compassionate - instead of brusque and selfish. Stay strong.
     
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  18. Nash78

    Nash78 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your recommendation. I read about the “chaser effects” and realized what was going on with me. I was fine and optimistic a week back. Then, I went for having sex and things went downhill from there. I went on to masturbate 2-3 times a day, even starting looking for women online. I chatted with unknown woman and had cybersex. Basically, wasting my time in all the activities which I was supposed to not do and maintaining it for 90 days. I bring a lot of bad-luck. I also think that it happens every-time, when I do something like that. I got into an accident which I think was not my fault but still got citation from cop. My promotion for which I was waiting for so long, was rejected by promotion committee. Basically, my life has gone downhill in matter of few days. I am so afraid of having sex with my wife now and I am not sure, how to explain her this. Any inputs from you guys regarding my experience. Thanks.
     
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  19. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    @Nash78 - ask yourself the question in the mirror - do you prefer sex with your hand or sex with your wife? Look yourself in the eye when you say your answer out loud.
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2020
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  20. JJ_Kino

    JJ_Kino Fapstronaut

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    Friday morning check in.

    I'll be 40 years young in a few months time, hoping I can kick this habit once and for all.

    I'm starting to notice the PIED kicking in again, which had almost gone completely after a good run earlier in the year.

    Hopefully that's enough for me to get back on the train.

    One day at a time.

    Cheers all, stay well and be lucky.
     

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