35 and Older Accountability Group

Hey guys.... I believe today should be about a week of noPMO. I have been having sex with my girlfriend and it has become better! I've encountered my greatest temptation, today thus far. I did well! It was super tempting to fap but having to report to this forum was such a major deterent! I am excited. I remembered all the benefits of my 83 day streak and I am looking forward to all those benefits again!
 
Heretogrow said:
Thank you @artifact I wanted to know for sure because I´m trying to have everything need and organize, including the groups I´m in, the threads I follow and the relationships I build. I have found that porn was a patch, in my life when I saw that I wasn´t doing things right, porn and all is solve!, so organizations has been key to my process. I hope this amount of work its good for you.

Ok. I will introduce myself. And maybe you could do the same. My name is Hector. I´m 35. I didn´t use my real name because I liked the avatar thing... I was born in Boston, but raised all over south america. I live in a very small, secluded town on the beach, Im writer and make my living working mostly with wood and gardening, doing manual labor. I´ve been without alcohol or drugs for almost 2 years now, but once I got clean from those substances I could see that porn was really my big problem, and the getting drunk and high was a symptom of low self steam.

I have messed up several good relationships because of porn, I think because I was living in fantasy lala land and not paying attention to real life, and over using, EVERY F DAY, that scape valve...

I have faith.

I have been trying to quit for almost a year, going in a week two week streaks and then falling again, but I didn´t know about nofap, I was doing it just because I could recognize it as a sober man that porn was affecting me very negatively.

Ok. Hope we can help each other, have fun (why not), and really grow.

Abrazos!
Click to expand...
Keep up the good work brotha!
 
Heretogrow said:
Yes. Today I saw my counter and felt pretty good. I´m waiting that famous flatline though... I want to experience life without a sexual drive, because I honestly don´t remember it if I ever felt it. I´m noticing that my urges and thoughts around women have change. In another group I just commented: can you imagine if alcohol and other drugs were free... One of the things I notice when I stopped drinking was my wallet!!!! that was a big incentive. This is hard to battle.
Click to expand...

I hear ya. I really enjoy the increased sex drive when abstaining from PMO. For instance, when I was jerking it on the regular, I wouldn't have a major drive when I'd see a cute girl a the grocery story- I 'd simply admire her figure and move on. However, when I am abstaining, I can totally feel a "shift" in my body when I see a girl with a great figure. I almost immediately feel drawn to her. I like this because I can redirect that urge towards my girlfriend when she gets home from work or the next time I see her. It seems to make the sex way better. I love that! I mean... that's how its suppose to be. But before, I wouldn't have that drive, when I'd be fapping on the regular. I'd have to "conjure" that drive from the depths of my mind... usually during sex, which made it less enjoyable and distracting.
 
HappyHarry said:
I'd like to join. Acted out tonight again.....I really could use the encouragement and vice/versa. I hope everyone is doing well.
Click to expand...

Hi HappyHarry and welcome to the group. I will add you to our member ranking next time I update it. (It may be a few days, I'm working insane long hours at work.)
 
I like the idea of a group like this and would like to join. 38 years old.
 
Hi guys. 20 days here, mixed emotions. Low energy. Feel like eating lots of sugar and junk food. Just over all feel a little strange. I guess my old self wont quit that easy, I think it wants me to miss him. Keeping at it.
 
Heretogrow said:
Hi guys. 20 days here, mixed emotions. Low energy. Feel like eating lots of sugar and junk food. Just over all feel a little strange. I guess my old self wont quit that easy, I think it wants me to miss him. Keeping at it.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the check-in. 20 days can be strange for sure, I'll be joining you in a few days.
 
Hey friends! New member here.

I am on day 7 or 8 today and I started to feel the urges starting to form. Started with new testical breathing exercise and some other ones i learned from mantac chia -

he is the author of the book "secrets of love - cultivating male sexual energy" which I have been reading for years - he has an interview on the londonreal tv you may want to see it.

Reading others experience and challenges is inspiring - but ultimately I know that my success is an inner game - and it comes to me CHOOSING to note engage in watching porn just for today - and if i feel an urge it is my job to deal with it accordingly. I find that sometimes urges are great when i'm sleepy or tired - and other times when I meet or see other beautiful girls.

Another thing I noticed that helps is to see women with the intention of looking them without trying to see if they are hot or not - and another tip that has helped me is to be very mindful of the very first temptations - if i catch them early on and immediately re-affirm my commitment to health and well being and remind myself WHY i'm doing this - it helps alot.

Also WIN-HOF method (cold showers and breathing) is amazing - been digging him for a few months you may also want to check out his free course - i find him super motivational.

Much love :)
 
Mitsuro said:
I need in please. Day 1 again! I got to 29, started a 90 day reboot yesterday.
Click to expand...
How are you friend? 29 its pretty good. I´m going 20, feeling strange. Now you can go at it with experience, that always helps.
 
I feel lonely as f..k. Now I can realice how much I depended on PMO. You truly leave reality aside.
Much love.
 
Heretogrow said:
I feel lonely as f..k. Now I can realice how much I depended on PMO. You truly leave reality aside.
Much love.
Click to expand...

hey bro nothing wrong with feeling lonely i think eveyr one feels it at some point - even when i was in relationship i would feel it. My mind sometimes tries to use that as an excuse to watch porn - but that has nothing to do with it.

it's saying its cold outside, so i'm justified to watch porn, lol This too shall pass but if I dont dishonor my commitment to avoid watching content that is doing harm to others, then I will evolve as a human being and I can feel good knowing I'm doing the best i can - :) Much love to you brother!
 
Mitsuro said:
I need in please. Day 1 again! I got to 29, started a 90 day reboot yesterday.
Click to expand...

hey man - after going for 29 days and having a relapse, I find that is the hardest, especially because you had such a good progress.

There is a HUGE urge and tendency to 'enjoy it a little longer' before going to abstinence. to

I too am coming off a very similar situation - previous to the last relapse i was at a meditation retreat and for 30 days I was in an environment which was so easy to avoid it - when I came back home, i was determined to avoid watching but in the process of installing my filter - I just wanted to "check the filter" so i typed the wrong words in the search - and i had a flash of the things I shouldn't have seen.

From there, the urges were so strong i couldn't sleep at night it resulted in a relapse - what I learned from this aside from not fukin with the search lol is that If i feel like that again I will use breathing methods, cold shower, or ice cubes to calm things down - instead of playing with fire and edging and somehow convincing myself its okay to release.

I felt guilty and down and next day relapsed again but thankfully i was able to only keep the relapse to 2 days total and go right back to discipline.
 
Heretogrow said:
Hi guys. 20 days here, mixed emotions. Low energy. Feel like eating lots of sugar and junk food. Just over all feel a little strange. I guess my old self wont quit that easy, I think it wants me to miss him. Keeping at it.
Click to expand...

Keep up the hard work. The most likely reason you are feeling this way (as far as the desire for carbs and sugar) is due to the lack of extreme dopamine you were recieving while PMO. Sugar also releases some moderate amounts of dopamine and provides a "high" too. Its probably okay to indulge a little bit on the sugar side. Reason being, its a candy bar is a whole lot better for you than PMO.
There's a great book called Your Brain on Porn. I believe the author's last name is Wilson. Check it out. He goes into detail about this phenomenon.
Good luck brotha!
 
Hey fellas,
day 9 is going well... This may sound really strange but... I am currently trying to "reset" my brain to orgasm with regular intercourse. At this point I still experience ED but my girlfriend has been courteous enough to perform oral sex, by which I do reach orgasm.
I desperately want to finish normally instead of using oral sex as a crutch. I am hoping that by day 30 I will be able to achieve this goal.
Hope everyone is having a great week.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top