35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. ANNOUNCEMENT/QUESTION: I have noticed that often when group members relapse they reset their counter goals to only P. In the group rules I stated that it is required for members to have a goal of no PM or no PMO. But this keeps happening so often I am tired of removing members from the ranking because their counter goal is no P. What do you guys think about this? Should the member ranking be open to people with a counter goal of no P or does this give them an unfair advantage over the rest of us? My own past efforts of giving up P but not M always failed miserably, I always ended up looking at porn again, so maybe they don't have as much of an advantage as I thought. I would like to hear your thoughts about this.
     
  2. @Ik2 - We have an opening for you in the group. Please reply to this comment if you are still interested in joining.
     
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  3. Checking in....another few days in the bag and my streak is building and urges are minimal
     
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  4. Ik2

    Ik2 Fapstronaut

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    Still interested in joining, thanks!
     
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  5. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
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    Good afternoon all, checking in.
     
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  6. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    I have now completed two cycles of 14 days (M once every two weeks, absolutely no P). Observations:

    - days 2-3 can have a chaser effect, but not too bad.
    - days 12-13 start to feel a bit uncomfortable and I start to look for p subs.
    -day 14 I have no urges. I M just to get it out of the way but the excitement and some of the pleasure rush are gone.

    I feel really content with this set up. I want to do it another 2-3 times and see what happens.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2021
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  7. bama_lost

    bama_lost Fapstronaut

    @artifact Honestly, I think you should keep your rules as is. It seems many have their own trajectories/agendas for their recovery, but I think keeping it uniform with at least no PM keeps this group more accountable than not... leaves a little less leeway for clever interpretations. Everyone's got to be honest with themselves up front about what they need and what is effecting them negatively. But with that in mind, I hear a lot of justification and rationalization for "allowances" both on this forum and in groups, and that doesn't feel helpful to me. There might be benefits to allowing for more open interpretations, but I think your rules make sense.

    And with that in mind, I'll be headed back to the bottom of the ladder to start the climb back up. And it wasn't the M that got me, but the P.
     
  8. jaberwaki

    jaberwaki Fapstronaut

    Day 17 checking in. I got some less than ideal news yesterday that rocked me a bit, but I handled it well--getting lost in guitar, taking a cold shower and talking me feelings out with my co-parent. Feeling better about things this morning, and proud that PMO urges weren't an issue even in the midst of destabilizing information.
     
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  9. Rebooter13

    Rebooter13 Fapstronaut

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    I have heard such opinions and i agree , a person can be psychologically addicted to almost anything and i have thoughs about the cross-addiction scenario for myself as well although i don't think thats what is happening in my case.
    I have also read some studies about using weed, MDMA or LSD to fight addictions, anxiety or depresion.Of course this is controled from specialists and it has nothing to do with personal consumption people are doing, just mentioning it.

    I use an app to keep track in my daily activites including weed, porn , reading, working out, studing, listening to music and many more for more than a year now.The diagrams after all this time showed me than when i have weed i consume more porn (they are almost identicals).At first it looks like weed brings porn but the truth is that porn brought weed and the reason is simple, i wasn't enjoying porn after all this exposure so i decided to make it more interesting by using canabis.This is when i went from 1-2 cigarettes a month to more regular usage.One more thing i noticed is that when i take breaks from weed which usually are long and could last more than a month, after the first 1-2 weeks i start to realapse more regurarly than the first days so weed or not the porn stays with me.The only reason i crave weed is when i need something to calm me down and help me clear my mind or meditate or maybe when i am spending time in my studio but i crave porn almost daily.But i know there's a connection between them, i just need to figure out how to find the balance i used to have with weed and if it doesn't work then propably i have to quit it for a big amount of time.These are thing i started noticng only recently and i need time to examine them in my mind.

    Btw i advice all of you guys to use an app to track your activities and habits as well.When i installed it i decided not only to track porn, weed, working out and other typical stuff but many other activities i used to like and i quited doing because of porn.For example, reading books, mixing on my studio, playing video games and more importand things like spending time with my family, meet my friends and the days i manage to keep calm without rushing myself with porn anxiety (yeah i know that last one maybe is too much but it's very importand to me).
    I keep track on all of them and many more and i know at first it sounds strange and funny but after a year i think i changed a lot of things in my life just by tracking myself.For example i started by reading books for 2-3 days each month and right now i am at 10-12 and i am enjoying it again.In more simple words and in one sentence i am much closer to the person i was before porn now than i was 1 year back.
    It only takes 2-3 minutes to check it daily.The app is called Habits but i think there are more like that.What i like on this one is that i can make my own list of habits and offers diagrams and a lot of statistics.This could also be a good motivation for some people including myself.
     
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  10. JJ_Kino

    JJ_Kino Fapstronaut

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    Checking in.

    Felt good up until about 5 minutes ago, urges sky rocketed and all came about just surfing net as normal when I came across an advertisement with a fit model, it's crazy, just messed me up. :/

    I've got Dopamine floating around my brain and won't leave lol

    Gonna take a break and go for walk.

    All in all its going.well though.
     
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  11. Garek

    Garek Fapstronaut

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    I got into using mushrooms for the sake of mental heath a couple of years ago. I don't regret it, I might do it again one day, but by and large I am still the same person I am today that I was before I started. Perhaps I am more open to change than I was. There is something there, and maybe with proper guidance people can make profoundly positive changes, but most of the people I met while involving myself in that world just like doing mushrooms. It doesn't go any deeper than that.
     
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  12. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    That PAWS stuff is different and tricky. You are doing awesome. Good luck they next couple of days while the dopamine levels are messed up.
     
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  13. JJ_Kino

    JJ_Kino Fapstronaut

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    Thanks bro appreciate it.

    The urges have lessened somewhat during this last hour, I can't remember the withdrawal last time round.

    I'll keep you posted.
     
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  14. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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    @artifact totally agree with @bama_lost, only having no P loses the structure. PM is a solid and is definitely helpful for me.
     
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  15. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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  16. sxowht

    sxowht New Fapstronaut

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    I have read the rules and would like to join this group
     
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  17. jaberwaki

    jaberwaki Fapstronaut

    Day 18 checking in!
     
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  18. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    maintain the rules as is
     
  19. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 21 - I've been away from posting here for a number of reasons, all of which have kept me away from any PMO thoughts or urges. Unfortunately those reasons are challenging emotional situations dealing with marital relationship, death in family, and a health issue. That should be enough to keep anyone away from PMO. Stay strong everyone.
     
  20. JJ_Kino

    JJ_Kino Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry for your loss bro, hoping things get better for you soon, keep your chin up and stay safe.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2021
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