35 and Older Accountability Group

Stupid relapse tonight!There's so much feelings and thoughts right now that could be hard to describe.

 

Man you are doing GREAT, i am really happy for you!

 

Don't be too hard on yourself bro, keep strong and keep motivated next time you'll double your last count.

 

What an achievement to get to 100 days and 99 without a release is immense! I'm not the coordinator of this group but I thought the primary goal of Nofap was to stop using pornography so, in my eyes, if you've still not looked at pornography then you don't need to reset. Just my thoughts

 

It will be remarkable if you can follow it up with another 100 days on monk mode!

 

Thanks for kind words lads, hard reset today unfortunately, looked at old pics stored on my PC of ex (why it's still there I have no idea) gonna reset the counter, monk mode/semen retention has amazing benefits, overall mood no anxiety, more get up and go I love it.

I wanted to mention, when I released today I noticed a huge shiver like effect felt insanely good, heavenly if I may use that word , it blew my mind... Have any of you guys experienced that? I've never experienced that sensation before or if I did must of been a very long time ago it felt amazing!

/Reset to Day 1

 

Thank you kind sir!

 

checking in

 

Checking in. Yesterday I had the first legitimate urge that I've had in quite a while. It's been a busy week with a lot of family in town and some tough moments with my son, so the urge came to me as "wouldn't it be nice to just shut off and decompress with some porn?" Right. It was easy to deal with, and as blatantly false as a two year old trying to lie, but all the same it reminds me to stay humble and know that this addiction starts as a habit, and the habit starts as a desire, and desire is always present. It doesn't matter if you're on day 2 or 200, once you let go of mindful connection to your best self, the pmo brain will make its move.
How to actually decompress: Exercise, breathing, cold showers, authentic connection to those I love, good books and podcasts, walking in nature, playing guitar, yoga.
How to make it far, far worse: Porn.

 

Checking in.

This has been a rough week--multiple resets and lots of work stress, plus my brother-in-law and his wife are in town, which is disrupting the routine I was relying on to stay sober (they spend time with my kids, so I have more alone time...not a good thing, at this stage of recovery.) I'm probably going to post here pretty frequently for the next few days, until I get to a more stable/sane place.

 

Checking in

 

Checking in. Feels like I'm on the verge of relapse which is typical around 14 days for me, particularly in combination with severely interrupted sleep the past 5 out of the 7 nights.

Reminding myself to stay intentional and plan my day, don't waste any time on mindless activities, but also to walk away if needed. Productivity isn't everything, I have definitely had moments in the past where I tried so hard to power through tiredness and keep doing my various home and work tasks, only to see my willpower completely depleted and the result being a relapse.

 

Checking in. Closing in on 90 days and I can feel the urges testing me as I near this landmark.They are thieves, and I will not let them steal my power.

 

Thanks for the add!

Check-in for this week at Day 20, good luck everyone.

 

You've got this dude.

 

Thank you for the add! The support is priceless and is making all the difference during this difficult time.

Stay strong, everyone. We can do this!

 

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I'm reading the smoking book, but not as often as I'd like.

Frustrated with about everyone in my life, (including PMO) at the moment, but what can you do? Taking the dog on a walk seems like a good first step lol.

 

Checking in...feeling strong, keeping busy and no urges for P