35 and Older Accountability Group

Yes and that is exactly why people kill themselves.

The ego when it does get his ways starts blaming people outside, and when they don't care or can't care because they have their own issue, it gets angry and wants to get back at them. A big part of the suicide is a big fuck you to people around to show them how much pain one is in so they can finally understand.

 

checking in on day 41. Had some ups and downs but stayed strong after all...

 

I relapsed yesterday after almost 60 days Trigger: loneliness and being tired.

 

I'm at 50 days now.

 

@fleurette: I'm so sorry to read this! Please don't feel ashamed! You proofed yourself that you can make it up to day 60. This is much more that many of us - me included - had managed jet. If you get a deeper understanding how difficult it is to avoid triggering loneliness this relapse was worth it! All the best!!!
namaste

 

Relapsing after 60 days is not that bad , no matter how it feels the right now you still can enjoy the benefits of s 60 days streak.

 

I'm thinking this morning about streak lengths. I wonder if it becomes easier to have a longer streak as you get older. Or wiser. Or having deeper knowledge of what makes you tick.

I don't know how I've come to feel this way, but lately I have not considered sexual release to be all that important. It's more than just a temporary "flatline." It's more as though I am ordering my life in such a way as to minimize the day to day and hour to hour sense of sexual struggle.

I wonder if anyone else feels this way.

 

Checking in. I relapsed a few days ago, but I made it without P&M the last few days.

 

Checking in. The view is good from the big 90 Goal - another 90 days, no edging.

 

Congratulation! This is really great...

 

hey friend, Remember its not about how many days we go without porn but about how sincerely we put the effort into becoming better and our total days living with our highest ideal.

I find it is best to count the total % of the days you have been FREE rather than how many days since the last release. I hope we get this feature added to our counter soon.

The work you have done in the past 60 days hasn't gone to waste, they are compounding in interest, making your resolve even stronger. Now its the time to become more calm, more centered, more determined, and freer.

I find when I deeply investigate why a relapsed happened and in my own heart i discover a REAL insight - not just bs but REAL insight, the relapse becomes my friend and when I try again I become more powerful than before.

Also in the spirit of transparency as your accountability buddy, I felt somewhat triggered by reading some of your conversions on sex and orgasm etc, I felt it was too triggering for me, and I presume I'm not the only one.

I had to stop reading some of them. I'm not judging you, just giving you my perspective so you may consider it in the future and increase your chances to reach your freedom goals.

I find that our addicted self wants to have sex, if it can't have sex, wants to see others have sex if it cants do that, wants to talk about sex, or read about sex, or analyze sex, but they all lead to relapse.

I find best to channel this energy to a higher purpose! That's the only answer becoming OBSESSED with a new purpose a new mission something to fight for, something to die for.

 

I'm just checking in also sharing some of my insights.

I find that I have become addicted to checking this website, Getting notification from people who read my posts or message me is exciting but it creates the same addictive tendencies as I get with social media and youtube watching.

So I decided to limit my visit to this site to once or twice per day, to connect with others, read about others experiences to stay connected to my reason and to help others but to avoid checking in here too often.

I also am learning about compound interest and how the actions we take today, will produce the results much later in the future.

So I'm learning that 90 days is really not enough to see the real life-changing benefits but years is needed.

I am intending to have the grace to go as long as possible, I'll attach this chart which shows the effects over time, I have printed this and posted it on my wall to remind myself.

Also after my 90 day is approaching I found my mind becoming excited about the idea of watching porn again, but I saw video by a guy on youtube who really inspired me. I was reminded that the benefits I'm getting is 1- the ability to be present - which brings more joy to all my activities and I'm less impulsive and with more presence, i experience more joy in all other moments of my day

2- It enables me to have a better self-image for myself and keeps my inner dialogue positive 3- It forces me to get my dopamine and positive feelings through taking action in my business and advancing my career, being more helpful to others

 

BOOM! CONGRATS DUDE!!!!

 

Congratulations man!!

 

I had almost made it through the weekend but my schedule blew up and I had too much time on my hands. I made it to 38 but have had some trouble since I returned home last Monday. It's been a week of on-and-off-again commitment. Tomorrow is Day #1.